Living for the Music

I didn't see Seth at all on Sunday. Not that I really made much of an effort. I only went outside once, to walk down the street to the local drugstore to pick up a king sized chocolate bar. Then again, Seth didn't seem to be trying very hard either. I didn’t even want to think about what that might mean. I spend all of Sunday trying not to analyze his actions.

On Monday morning, I dressed in my typical long-sleeved shirt and jeans. I don't have a ton of variety in my wardrobe. Plus, I think a lot of the kids at school would have a heart attack if they saw me wearing a pink t-shirt and a miniskirt. That might be worth doing someday, just for the shock value.

Aaron pulled up outside before I had a chance to eat, so I grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet and headed outside to meet him. I shivered in the cold, running towards the heat of the car. It wasn't until the door shut behind me that I realized I had forgotten a coat.

“How was your weekend?" Aaron asked. He didn't comment on the fact that we hadn't seen each other, and I was careful what I said. My safe period was growing close to the end.

"Pretty boring," I admitted. "I watched some movies, did some homework... nothing very exciting."

"You should've called me," he scolded. "We could've been bored together."

"Somehow I don't think I would've been bored if you'd been around," I laughed.

"Well, that's kind of the point," he grinned. By the time we got to school, all the prime parking spots had been taken. I must’ve been even later than I thought. I shivered as we power-walked towards the doors.

“You cold?” Aaron asked. I nodded. What did he think, I was shivering for fun?

“Here.” He draped his letter jacket over my shoulders. It was still warm from his body, and offered a little protection from the harsh December wind.

Once we crossed the threshold to the school, I pulled it off and handed it back. Aaron was very protective of his jacket – too protective, especially when you’re dealing with an inanimate object. He didn’t like to leave it out of his sight.

“Thanks,” I whispered, standing on my tip-toes to give him a quick kiss.

“Anytime, babe,” he murmured, pulling me closer.

The bell rang, and I knew I had a minute to get to first hour. “Shit,” I muttered. “There’s no way I’m gonna make it.”

Aaron grinned at me. “Run,” he suggested.

I stuck my tongue out at him before taking off down the hall. I really didn’t want to miss anything.

By the time fourth hour rolled around, I was a bundle of nerves. We hadn’t done anything super interesting in my second and third hours, allowing me a lot of time to stew about what would happen when Seth was forced to choose whether he was going to communicate with me.

As it turned out, I saved him the trouble. I got to forth hour early, and immediately asked to have one of the recording studios. There were only two, and I was really afraid that other people would have already claimed them. But it was my lucky day. They were both available, meaning I got first pick on which one I wanted to use.

I quickly settled on the one with the piano, not that there was any real competition. The other studio was worthless to me at this point. Hopefully I could lay down enough of a base track today that, in the future, I could use the other one if I needed to. I shut the soundproof door firmly behind me and sat down in front of the piano.

The mini-studio was good, for a public school, but nowhere near as good as a real recording studio would be. All the equipment was on a wheelable cart, and you were in charge of positioning it so it recorded everything it was supposed to. You had to save everything to a disc, then go to the computer lab to edit it all. For me, it normally involved recording multiple takes of absolutely everything and hoping that I got something right one of the times.

Finally, I had all the equipment set up in a way that would (hopefully) work. I glanced at the clock, noting that I still had forty minutes left. I should have time to get through everything.

My thoughts disappeared as I began to play. The chords came out, accompanied by the melodies, and it all fell together exactly how I had imagined it. I knew it wasn’t perfect, but it felt good to be putting my feelings out there. Even without the words, the chords contained raw emotion that I would never be able to express any other way.

I played for a half hour straight. I played each part three times, then went back and replayed the hard parts, and the confusing parts, and the parts I kept messing up. I finally ejected the CD and put it carefully in a clear case, which went right into my backpack. There was no way I was going to lose this thing.

I finished putting the equipment away right as the bell rang. I shouldered my backpack and left the room, heading up to lunch. The butterflies that had disappeared when I was playing returned full force, dancing around my stomach like they were part of a three-ring circus. I stood in the lunch line, scanning the people for a familiar face. Seth wasn’t at the table yet, I realized, grabbing some pickles from the salad bar. I couldn’t help wondering if he was avoiding me. I’d never known him to avoid me, but then again I’d never given him an ultimatum before.

“Where’s Seth?” I asked as I sat down next to Aaron. The seat he had claimed as his own was conspicuously absent.

“Oh, he’s working on some project,” Aaron shrugged. “Apparently the studio wasn’t open last hour or something.”

I forced myself to keep chewing as I processed this new information. Was Seth really that far along on his project? Run! my brain screamed. Go back to the studio. Or the computer lab. Somewhere!

Why should she?

He could finish before her.

So?

So what if he gets assigned to help her?

Like that’d really happen.

There’s a chance.

An itty-bitty teeny-weenie chance.

That’s still too big of a chance.

“Is that the same class you’re taking?” Aaron continued, oblivious to my inward battle.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “I didn’t see him at all today, though.”

“What, you think he’s avoiding you?” Aaron teased. “Even you haven’t had enough time to scare him away.”

“Thanks, Aaron,” I snapped. “Glad to know you think that highly of me.”

“Chill out, babe,” he said calmly. “I was just teasing.”

I forced myself to take a deep breath. He had been. It wasn’t his fault he had hit on the truth. “I know. Sorry. I’m a little tense today.”

“No, really?” he laughed. “I never would’ve guessed.”

“Anyone else take that history test?” Nicole complained, sitting her tray down across the table. “I think I bombed it.”

“Crap,” I muttered, turning to Aaron. “Do we have a test?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “It’s gonna suck.”

“You’re gonna be there, right?” I asked anxiously. “So I can sneakily glance at your answers and not copy them?”

“I’ll be there for the first part,” he replied. “But then I have to leave.”

“Wait, what?” I jerked back to attention. “You’re leaving?”

“We talked about this, remember?” he said calmly. “I have a doctor’s appointment so I can’t give you a ride home. I told you that on Thursday.”

“Right,” I muttered, brain whirling. Could Seth give me a ride? It would depend on how he acted during sixth hour. Crap. Sixth hour without Aaron could be… awkward.