Living for the Music

My cell phone rang before I could open my book. “Hello?” I asked.

“Where were you?” Aaron demanded.

“What do you mean?” I asked, still floating on my Seth high.

“I called you twice, and you weren’t answering the door. Where the hell were you?”

I slowly came back to reality, beginning to realize just how pissed off Aaron was. “It’s okay, Aaron. I’m fine. I asked Seth to give me a ride home, since you weren’t there.”

“You still should’ve been home an hour ago.”

“I know,” I said in a soothing voice. “Seth stopped and helped me pick out some stuff for an English project. I must’ve left my phone in the car.”

I was lying through my teeth, but I needed him to calm down. I didn’t want to have to deal with this, not tonight, not when everything else seemed to be going so well.

“I was worried about you,” he admitted. I was relieved to hear his voice back at a normal pitch.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I’m fine. Promise.”

“Good,” he replied. “I wouldn’t want anything to hurt you. Ever. Okay?”

I bit my lip to stop myself from pointing out that most times, he was the one who hurt me. It sure wouldn’t help anything. Besides, it felt like I would be breaking some kind of unwritten code if I brought it up. We never talked about the… episodes. Half the time, I didn’t even think he remembered them.

“Mkay,” I replied, pushing the phone between my ear and my shoulder so I could open my book.

“I mean it, Sophia. I really do love you.”

“I believe you,” I repeated. I pulled a pencil out of my binder and began to work on a math problem.

“Okay,” he said doubtfully. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Pick me up?”

“I’ll be there,” he promised.

“Bye,” I murmured.

“Bye,” he repeated. “Love you.”

I quickly hung up the phone before I could respond. It didn’t feel right, for some reason, saying ‘I love you.’ I’d said it before, but things had changed. Everything felt different now. And Seth… well, he wasn’t helping anything.

I stared at my math problem and sighed. It wasn’t easy, but at least it was black and white. That was more than I could say for a lot of things these days.