Living for the Music

“Sophia?” The voice seemed to come at me from a far away place. I felt hands on my shoulder and let out a soft moan as I opened my eyes, blinking in confusion. My body was aching all over. And that wasn’t my ceiling. That was… I tried to sit up and swore as I put weight on my hurt wrist. That wasn’t going to work.

“What happened?” Aaron asked. I finally saw him leaning over me, and caught a glimpse of the refrigerator in the background. All that time and I never even left the house.

“Where have you been?” I interrupted.

He stared at me in confusion. “I was only gone a minute. I just had to grab the keys.” He held up a key ring for my inspection.

I lay back. The floor, which had seemed so comfortable in my dreams, was not actually as soft as I thought. “I thought it’d been longer,” I said faintly. “I thought I had gone home, and that I was asleep in bed, and…”

Aaron looked really worried now. He reached out and felt my forehead. I brushed his hand away impatiently. “I’m okay, Aaron. I’m not going to collapse on you or anything.”

“You just did,” he pointed out. I bit back my retort, knowing he was right.

“I’ll be fine,” I sighed, carefully sitting up. “I just want to go home.”

He nodded once, then again. “That’s probably a good idea.” He seemed to be debating something before he opened his mouth again. “Are you sure you shouldn’t go to the doctors?”

“I’m fine,” I protested, trying to convince myself as well as him. “You wrapped my wrist, I have painkillers. What more can they tell me?”

I could see his face shut down. I knew he was hiding something, some emotion that he didn’t want me to see, but I didn’t care. For the first time ever, I was a little mad at him for hurting me so bad. Why couldn’t he just be a normal, perfect boyfriend?

Aaron carefully draped my coat around my shoulders, not even trying to get my slung arm into the sleeve. I took a deep breath and got ready to brave the cold. Aaron led the way, shutting and locking the door behind me. I moved down the white steps carefully, afraid I would fall and hurt myself again.

The drive to my house seemed endless. I couldn’t wait to get home and curl up in bed. The scenery flashing past the window seemed surreal. I was already half-asleep, and I had no intention of waking myself up.

I climbed out of the car, turning to shut it behind me. Aaron rolled down the window, leaning closer to talk to me. “Call me, okay?”

“Honestly? I think I’m going to bed the second I walk through my door,” I shrugged.

“Well then… I’ll be here tomorrow to pick you up, okay? Don’t plan on getting a ride with Seth or anything.”

I nodded tiredly, turning to go. “Wait!” he called. I paused. “How about I come fifteen minutes early? We can make a Starbucks run. Or Brueggers. Or something.”

I sent him a faint smile. “That sounds good.”

“So 6:45ish?” he pressed.

I nodded. “See you then.”

I walked up the path slowly, forcing my tired legs to move. I tried to ignore the bright happy lights coming from Seth’s house. It seemed wrong that life went on, even though my world was falling apart.

I pushed the door open, and for the first time in a long time I heard the sound of noise coming from the kitchen. Was my dad actually home, sober, at this time of night? I shook my head, resisting the urge to go investigate. All I wanted was to go up to bed.

“Sophia?” I stopped on the bottom step.

“Yeah?” I called tiredly.

My dad poked his head out of the kitchen door way. His hair was rumpled and his clothes were baggy, but he didn’t reek of alcohol like he normally did. His eyes landed on my wrist. “What happened to you?”

I shook my head. Of all the days for him to start paying attention… “Nothing, Dad. I fell.”

He snorted. “You fell? Try again.”

“Seriously. I slipped on some ice.”

“And that explains the bruise on your cheek?” he asked.

My hand automatically rose to the spot. I bit back my curse, still unwilling to give myself away completely. “Yeah.”

“Who hit you?” he pressed. “One of your friends?”

I sighed softly. “Aaron.”

“Aaron?” His face was blank. “Is that a boy?”

I nodded. “What did I tell you about boys, Sophia? They’re no good. If you hadn’t spent your whole life hanging around them no one would ever assume they could hurt you like that.”

“Seth would never hurt me,” I protested. “Neither would Nathan.”

“Are you saying you choose to hang around the ones that will?” He shook his head pityingly. “I thought you were smart, Sophia.”

I bit my lip to keep back my anger and my tears. I had actually thought he might be concerned about me. Shows how wrong I was, I guess.

“I’m going to bed,” I muttered, continuing my path upstairs. My dad didn’t even try to stop me. I heard the fridge open, and there was a soft clinking noise as the familiar six-pack emerged. I sighed as I locked my bedroom door. Some things would never change.

I didn’t have the energy to change clothes. I checked to make sure my alarm was set before collapsing onto the bed. I tried to ignore the dull throbbing in my wrist, just long enough to fall asleep. The painkillers seemed to have taken effect, at least a little, and I let my eyes shut as a dark haze enveloped me.