Living for the Music

“Morning,” I yawned, climbing into the car.

Aaron smiled at me. “Long night?”

“Math test,” I replied.

“I thought Seth was going to help you,” he said in apparent confusion.

“We’re not talking at the moment,” I muttered.

“What?” He seemed startled. “Not because of me, I hope. He didn’t hurt me that bad, Sophia. You could punch better than him.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing he couldn’t see me. “It’s not that. He was reading my notebook.”

Aaron nodded as if that explained everything. I was just realizing the irony of him getting pissed at me for letting Seth read my notebook, and now me getting pissed at Seth for reading it. But that hadn’t seemed to occur to Aaron yet. “You’ll get over it.”

“Not in time to save my grade,” I sighed.

He shrugged. “He’ll help you on the next one. You’ll be fine.”

I wished I could be as optimistic as him, but I failed miserably. Instead, I focused on trying to remember everything I had learned last night and prayed the test wouldn’t be insanely hard. After all, it never hurt to dream.

“How’d it go?” Seth asked.

I tensed slightly, but discovered I was more hurt than angry right now. And I knew how to hide my pain. “I dunno. Not great, that’s for sure. But I think I might’ve pulled off a few questions.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I should’ve guessed you’d need help. We could’ve done that study session a long time ago.”

“Yeah, well,” I muttered, brushing it off. “We didn’t. It’s fine. If I fail, I fail. No big deal.”

“Are you kidding?” Seth laughed. “The idea of summer school ring any bells? Like, warning bells?”

“I said I’ll be fine, Seth,” I snapped.

“No, Sophia. I’m giving you that study session. I don’t want you to fail math. I mean,
that’s the one class I can actually help you in. No need for an F on your record.”

“Whatever,” I sighed, opening up my notebook and purposely tilting it away from him.

I could tell he was fighting back his retort, but I didn’t bother to help him. “Seth!” a girl squealed, running up to him. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, Jess,” he sighed. “Just let me get my guitar.”

I turned away as he fumbled around with his case. He had developed quite the posse. Then again, guitarists always seemed to be labeled as the hot, moody bad-boy type. And we were definitely lacking that clique at this school. So, whether Seth realized it or not, he was in high demand – he was one of a kind.

I jotted down another quote in the ‘after’ column. I really needed to link this all together, but I couldn’t get up the energy to tackle it right now. It could wait for another day or two. I’d do it... eventually.

The class seemed to take forever. I found myself glancing towards the studio, wondering what they were doing in there. Visions appeared in my head, of Jess and Seth locked in the room together. I could see her leaning over him, and-

I pushed it out of my head, forcing myself to write. I would never get anything done if I waited for the right mood. I could at least try to do something productive. The rest of the day would probably be a waste anyways.

I didn’t wait for Seth after class. I knew he was probably hoping I would, but I was anxious to get away. I sat down across from Aaron with my tray, and was surprised when Nicole slid in next to me. “Hey,” I said in surprise. “Breaking the seating chart?”

“It’s not assigned,” she smiled. “Besides, I want to talk to you. I realized I really don’t know that much about you.”

“Oh, I’m pretty boring,” I shrugged. “Nothing special.”

“No, I mean I don’t know anything about you. Like, if you have parents or siblings or what your favorite color is.”

I laughed, but it sounded fake even to my ears. I couldn’t stand these kinds of questions. “I live with my dad, I’m an only child, and my favorite color is purple. End of story?”

“No way. I have a whole list of stuff I want to know. Starting with Seth,” she added in an undertone, watching the boy walk towards us.

I bit back my scream. Was that the only thing people were interested in? “There’s nothing to tell,” I sighed. “We were really good friends before he moved. Now that he’s back, it’s different between us. Awkward.”

“Hey Sophie,” Seth called, leaning towards us. “You didn’t wait for me.”

“Obviously,” I said dryly.

“Well… I was wondering if I could… you know, talk to you? Later on?” He glanced at Aaron. “Just the two of us?”

Aaron glanced at me for his cue. I shook my head slightly. “Aaron and I are doing something after school. Maybe some other day.”

I knew my tone of voice wasn’t exactly welcoming, but that was the way I wanted it. I wasn’t going to be able to forgive him right away. “Well, I can see why it’s awkward,” Nicole muttered.

I sent her a wry glance, and I knew she really did get it. She might understand it more than I did, actually. Some of those things were easier to see if you weren’t directly involved. Despite all her questions, I couldn’t help wondering if we really could be friends. Of course, the thought was ridiculous – she would have issues understanding my life. Like Seth, only worse. But it was nice to imagine.

I forced myself to talk with Nicole throughout the lunch hour. If she caught my lack of enthusiasm, she didn’t comment on it. Seth was enraptured with Pearl again, so I really didn’t have much choice. Aaron was never big on talking if he could be eating.

The bell couldn’t ring soon enough. I made sure I had my notebook – there was no way I was going through that again. Aaron grabbed my hand and we headed up the stairs to history.

By the time we got to science, I was a bit more relaxed. Aaron was his usual, easy-going self, and he was always able to calm me down. But I tensed up again the moment we entered the science room.

Seth was sitting at the lab table, and I could tell from his posture that he hadn’t forgotten our conversation on Friday. I hadn’t really been expecting him to, but I had hoped that our own fight might have smothered his anger a little.

“Aaron,” he nodded. There was a definite coolness in his voice, but I hoped that Aaron wouldn’t hear it.

“Hey Seth,” Aaron replied, arm loped casually around my waist. “Look, I’m really sorry about Friday.”

Seth nodded, but didn’t offer an apology of his own. Aaron glanced at me before shrugging. Maybe he remembered more about Seth than I thought – like how he needed time to think before he forgave anybody, even me. Okay, especially me.

I sat down at the end of the table as Mr. Togen introduced the lab. I knew Seth wouldn’t be thrilled with this arrangement, but he could overcome his issues for the hour. If the two boys didn’t work together, we were all in trouble. Without realizing it, Seth was back to taking care of me.