Living for the Music

I made my way over to the piano in the corner and began to play. I had heard this song on the radio awhile back and had fallen in love with it. I had just learned how to play it, although I could never quite manage to sing at the same time. Maybe some day…

I was so caught up in the song that I barely heard Seth come in to the room. I subconsciously noticed when he moved to stand behind me, but didn’t think much of it. I jumped when he started to sing along.

“This is not what I intended,” he whispered. “I always swore to you I’d never fall apart.”

I focused on the keys, not letting myself listen to what he was saying. “You always thought that I was stronger. I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start.”

I hit a few more chords and started the chorus again. “Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again. Don’t make me change my mind, or I won’t live to see another day. I swear it’s true. Because a girl like you’s impossible to find. It’s impossible.”

I kept playing, even when he didn’t know the words to the bridge. It was probably better that way – I didn’t know how much my nerves could take. Was he trying to send mixed signals? Was he messing with me, trying to make it seem like he cared? Did he just like the song? Or was he trying to get a message across?

I let the last notes linger in the room, unable to look at him. A part of me didn’t want to know – not if it meant I would like what I heard. Childish, maybe, but it made it a lot easier on my poor bruised heart.

“I love that song,” Seth finally said.

“Yeah, me too,” I replied.

He laughed quietly. “For some reason, that doesn’t surprise me.”

I shrugged silently. Seth let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry, Sophie. Okay? I won’t butt into your business if you don’t want me to.”

“It’s not that,” I muttered unconvincingly.

“Then what is it?” he snapped. “Because I thought we were fine. It seemed like everything was back to normal. So why this?”

“Alright,” I snapped. “So it’s not fine. I know I’m digging myself into a hole, Seth. But my whole life has turned into one huge hole. I don’t need you telling me it’s getting deeper, because I know that already. And I’ve tried to get out of it, I’ve been trying, and there’s nothing I can do. So unless you have some mastermind plan-”

Seth pressed his lips against mine, effectively cutting off my rant.