Living for the Music
Chapter Seventy-Two
I woke up the next morning with the TV still humming softly in the background. I moved slightly, and a hand tightened around my waist. I turned my head and saw Seth laying next to me, one arm wrapped firmly around me. I smiled to myself. When he was sleeping, the worry lines disappeared and he looked 12 again.
He stirred slightly in his sleep and his arms tightened around me. I found myself pressed against him, and he didn’t show any signs of moving. So I closed my eyes again and let myself relax. Seth wasn’t going to hurt me, and it wasn’t like we were doing anything wrong. Even if I did have a boyfriend, he couldn’t kill me for sleeping next to Seth. Although he could get pretty mad at me…
But I still couldn’t bring myself to move away. I drifted off slightly, never fully sleeping, but getting a little extra rest. Finally, I felt Seth stir behind me. His hand twitched on my waist before he moved it up to rub his eyes. “Hey,” he whispered, softly kissing my hair. “You awake?”
I mumbled something incoherent, resisting the urge to move closer to him. The spot where his hand had been felt cold, empty without its weight. I heard Seth chuckle softly and forced myself to turn around and face him.
He smiled at me, reaching out and stroking my hair, pushing it behind my ear. “Sleep well?”
I nodded, yawning widely. “You?”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
I rolled back onto my back again and stared at the ceiling. There was a moment of silence before Seth spoke again. “We should do this more often.”
“Do what?” I murmured, still half-asleep.
“This. You know, hang out. Talk. We don’t do enough of that.”
“And whose fault is that?” I mumbled.
He laughed and I smiled, closing my eyes again. “Is she asleep?” I heard a soft voice whisper.
I opened my eyes to see Mara peering around the door. “No,” Seth and I replied together.
Mara smiled. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I replied, biting back a yawn. “What time is it?”
“Oh, it’s only eleven or so.”
“Seriously?” Seth asked.
“Yeah.”
“Dang it,” he muttered. “I have to…”
“What?” I asked curiously.
“Nothing,” he sighed. “It’s too late now, anyways.”
I watched him for a minute until it became apparent he wasn’t going to say anything else. Mara seemed to have decided the same thing, as she started talking again. “There’s some pancake batter out in the kitchen, if you guys want some. Otherwise, you could skip straight to lunch and make sandwiches.”
“Pancakes sound great,” I agreed. I pushed the blankets off me and stretched slightly.
“Yeah.” Seth sounded distracted, but I didn’t push him. He’d tell me if he wanted to. I glanced down at my sweats and finally decided not to change. Seth had already seen me in this, so it wouldn’t hurt to wear it a little longer.
“I love your shirt, Sophia.”
I glanced down at it in amazement. Mara, too? I shook my head. “Thanks. I got it awhile ago.” I glanced behind me. “You coming, Seth?”
He shook his head and stood up. “Me, turn down food? Of course I’m coming.”
I laughed and bent down to check my bag, making sure I hadn’t missed anything. I stuck my phone in my pocket and headed towards the kitchen with Seth following close behind. Once I got there, I turned on the stove and stirred the batter, making sure it wasn’t too lumpy. Seth sat down in front of the computer and began to fiddle around. Moments later, music began to blare through the speakers. Seth hopped off the stool and walked over to me. “Can I help?”
“You want to grab some plates?” I asked, carefully pouring some batter onto the griddle.
He moved over to a cabinet and pulled two out. “Here.” I reached out to grab them, but pulled my hand back as my phone vibrated.
“Whoa,” he cried, grabbing them before they hit the ground.
“Sorry,” I muttered, flipping my phone open. 5 missed calls was splayed across the screen. “Crap,” I muttered, flipping through them quickly. Aaron, right after midnight. I knew about that. Jared had called… No big deal. Aaron had called again at one, and again at two-thirty, and… crap.
“Damn it,” I whispered, as I saw that the last call was from Aaron again.
Seth glanced at me in surprise. “What’s up?”
“I never called Aaron back,” I groaned. “God, I can’t believe…. I’ll be right back.”
I ran out of the kitchen and into Seth’s room. I quickly hit my number one speed dial. I heard the phone ringing… ringing… I swore under my breath. “Pick up, Aaron… For God’s sake, pick up!”
“Hello?”
“Aaron? Hi, I’m so sorry-”
“Sucker! Leave me a message.”
I let out a deep sigh. Stupid voicemail got me every time. “Hey Aaron, it’s me. Sorry I haven’t called you. I – I went to bed early last night, and my phone was off. Anyways, give me a call. And happy new year!”
I hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. He would buy it. He had to. He might be mad, but as long as he didn’t suspect anything, I’d be fine. I turned my phone volume on high and stuck it back in my pocket. I sat on the edge of the bed for a minute, glancing around the room. It hadn’t changed – not really. There was the same old bed with the worn green comforter. I stood up and walked over to his bulletin board. It was still posted above his bed, cramped with pictures and… what was that?
I leaned closer to one of the sheets of paper that was taped to it. Was that my handwriting? I reached up and pulled it off, taking a closer look. Seth – I don’t like this, and you do, so… well, you can have it. I wrote it about you anyways. Well, us. I really don’t know why you like it, considering it’s total crap, but this is all long and rambley now, so… whatever. Here it is.
I scanned the familiar lyrics. I had forgotten about this song, honestly, but it explained where a lot of my latest piece had come from. There were a few lines I really liked, and I jotted them down on a nearby sheet of paper to remember it.
I’m not the little girl I used to be
Too old for games, too young to be free
Forced by the will of the majority
But I will find a way to be me
I put the piece of paper back up and glanced at the few other ones. Breathe by Sophia Mueller. With help from Anna Nalick.
Seth had laughed when he read that. “Does the face that she wrote the original lyrics, and the whole melody, mean anything to you?”
“Not really,” I remember saying, shrugging carelessly. What I hadn’t been able to bring myself to tell him was how much of the song was about him. I mean, I had a whole verse about a boy. How many boys did I hang out with? How many boys could I honestly be talking about? But as far as I knew, he never put it together.
I smiled at it, making a mental note to ask Seth for a copy of it. It would be fun to record as a cover, just for the heck of it. Maybe I could get some extra credit with Ms. Dunford. After all, a lot of the song still applied to me today. I could tweak a few words here and there, to make sure no one put it together (just because Seth was oblivious didn’t mean everyone would be) and just sing, because that was what I did best.
He stirred slightly in his sleep and his arms tightened around me. I found myself pressed against him, and he didn’t show any signs of moving. So I closed my eyes again and let myself relax. Seth wasn’t going to hurt me, and it wasn’t like we were doing anything wrong. Even if I did have a boyfriend, he couldn’t kill me for sleeping next to Seth. Although he could get pretty mad at me…
But I still couldn’t bring myself to move away. I drifted off slightly, never fully sleeping, but getting a little extra rest. Finally, I felt Seth stir behind me. His hand twitched on my waist before he moved it up to rub his eyes. “Hey,” he whispered, softly kissing my hair. “You awake?”
I mumbled something incoherent, resisting the urge to move closer to him. The spot where his hand had been felt cold, empty without its weight. I heard Seth chuckle softly and forced myself to turn around and face him.
He smiled at me, reaching out and stroking my hair, pushing it behind my ear. “Sleep well?”
I nodded, yawning widely. “You?”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
I rolled back onto my back again and stared at the ceiling. There was a moment of silence before Seth spoke again. “We should do this more often.”
“Do what?” I murmured, still half-asleep.
“This. You know, hang out. Talk. We don’t do enough of that.”
“And whose fault is that?” I mumbled.
He laughed and I smiled, closing my eyes again. “Is she asleep?” I heard a soft voice whisper.
I opened my eyes to see Mara peering around the door. “No,” Seth and I replied together.
Mara smiled. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I replied, biting back a yawn. “What time is it?”
“Oh, it’s only eleven or so.”
“Seriously?” Seth asked.
“Yeah.”
“Dang it,” he muttered. “I have to…”
“What?” I asked curiously.
“Nothing,” he sighed. “It’s too late now, anyways.”
I watched him for a minute until it became apparent he wasn’t going to say anything else. Mara seemed to have decided the same thing, as she started talking again. “There’s some pancake batter out in the kitchen, if you guys want some. Otherwise, you could skip straight to lunch and make sandwiches.”
“Pancakes sound great,” I agreed. I pushed the blankets off me and stretched slightly.
“Yeah.” Seth sounded distracted, but I didn’t push him. He’d tell me if he wanted to. I glanced down at my sweats and finally decided not to change. Seth had already seen me in this, so it wouldn’t hurt to wear it a little longer.
“I love your shirt, Sophia.”
I glanced down at it in amazement. Mara, too? I shook my head. “Thanks. I got it awhile ago.” I glanced behind me. “You coming, Seth?”
He shook his head and stood up. “Me, turn down food? Of course I’m coming.”
I laughed and bent down to check my bag, making sure I hadn’t missed anything. I stuck my phone in my pocket and headed towards the kitchen with Seth following close behind. Once I got there, I turned on the stove and stirred the batter, making sure it wasn’t too lumpy. Seth sat down in front of the computer and began to fiddle around. Moments later, music began to blare through the speakers. Seth hopped off the stool and walked over to me. “Can I help?”
“You want to grab some plates?” I asked, carefully pouring some batter onto the griddle.
He moved over to a cabinet and pulled two out. “Here.” I reached out to grab them, but pulled my hand back as my phone vibrated.
“Whoa,” he cried, grabbing them before they hit the ground.
“Sorry,” I muttered, flipping my phone open. 5 missed calls was splayed across the screen. “Crap,” I muttered, flipping through them quickly. Aaron, right after midnight. I knew about that. Jared had called… No big deal. Aaron had called again at one, and again at two-thirty, and… crap.
“Damn it,” I whispered, as I saw that the last call was from Aaron again.
Seth glanced at me in surprise. “What’s up?”
“I never called Aaron back,” I groaned. “God, I can’t believe…. I’ll be right back.”
I ran out of the kitchen and into Seth’s room. I quickly hit my number one speed dial. I heard the phone ringing… ringing… I swore under my breath. “Pick up, Aaron… For God’s sake, pick up!”
“Hello?”
“Aaron? Hi, I’m so sorry-”
“Sucker! Leave me a message.”
I let out a deep sigh. Stupid voicemail got me every time. “Hey Aaron, it’s me. Sorry I haven’t called you. I – I went to bed early last night, and my phone was off. Anyways, give me a call. And happy new year!”
I hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. He would buy it. He had to. He might be mad, but as long as he didn’t suspect anything, I’d be fine. I turned my phone volume on high and stuck it back in my pocket. I sat on the edge of the bed for a minute, glancing around the room. It hadn’t changed – not really. There was the same old bed with the worn green comforter. I stood up and walked over to his bulletin board. It was still posted above his bed, cramped with pictures and… what was that?
I leaned closer to one of the sheets of paper that was taped to it. Was that my handwriting? I reached up and pulled it off, taking a closer look. Seth – I don’t like this, and you do, so… well, you can have it. I wrote it about you anyways. Well, us. I really don’t know why you like it, considering it’s total crap, but this is all long and rambley now, so… whatever. Here it is.
I scanned the familiar lyrics. I had forgotten about this song, honestly, but it explained where a lot of my latest piece had come from. There were a few lines I really liked, and I jotted them down on a nearby sheet of paper to remember it.
I’m not the little girl I used to be
Too old for games, too young to be free
Forced by the will of the majority
But I will find a way to be me
I put the piece of paper back up and glanced at the few other ones. Breathe by Sophia Mueller. With help from Anna Nalick.
Seth had laughed when he read that. “Does the face that she wrote the original lyrics, and the whole melody, mean anything to you?”
“Not really,” I remember saying, shrugging carelessly. What I hadn’t been able to bring myself to tell him was how much of the song was about him. I mean, I had a whole verse about a boy. How many boys did I hang out with? How many boys could I honestly be talking about? But as far as I knew, he never put it together.
I smiled at it, making a mental note to ask Seth for a copy of it. It would be fun to record as a cover, just for the heck of it. Maybe I could get some extra credit with Ms. Dunford. After all, a lot of the song still applied to me today. I could tweak a few words here and there, to make sure no one put it together (just because Seth was oblivious didn’t mean everyone would be) and just sing, because that was what I did best.