Living for the Music
Chapter Eighty-Eight
“Sophie.”
I mumbled something inaudible and rolled over. It was too early to think. “Sophie, I have a question for you.”
Seth?
“It’s important, so I need you to listen. Can you do that?”
I forced myself to open one eye. “What?”
“That stuff you wrote in your journal… is it true?”
“What journal?” I mumbled.
“The one online. It’s all real?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t realize what I was saying, didn’t really care.
“All of it?” he pressed. “Even the stuff at… the beginning.”
“Yes.” I rolled over again and buried my head in the pillow.
“Sophie.”
“What?” I snapped, forcing my eyes to open to meet Seth’s serious ones.
“Are you going to school?”
I flinched. “I… really don’t want to.”
“Okay. You stay here, then. I’ll be back soon.”
I didn’t know what he meant by soon, and I didn’t really care. All I knew was that it was quiet and I could sleep.
When I woke up, Seth was still gone. I was surprised to see it was only 10:30. I barely ever got up that early when I had a free day. But I guess I had caught up on my sleep.
I grabbed my phone. This time, there were only three missed calls and two new messages. Before I could check either of them, my phone began to buzz. “Hey Seth,” I answered, glancing at the caller ID.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Where are you?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m on my way back.”
“See you in a few minutes.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
I hung up the phone and fell back again. I pulled my laptop towards me, opened it, and froze. Seth’s words from last night – this morning – came rushing back. The webpage up wasn’t my latest journal, it was all my journals, even the ones from… before.
Words jumped out at me as I read the thoughts of my 13-year old self. Hate him… can’t believe he left me… my dad… what’s gonna happen to me?
I scanned down a bit, feeling tears start to fill my eyes as I relived it. Aaron asked me out… he’s so nice… he won’t leave me.
And then, last year when everything went to hell. Aaron’s been acting different lately. He’s not the same boy I fell in love with.
There. The one I could still remember typing. It was disjointed, raw, and probably made no sense, but I couldn’t bear to relive the night to edit it. I took a deep breath and scrolled down until the entry came into view.
He hit me. God I can’t believe he actually hit me. No one’s ever done that, not even my dad. Seth would’ve beat up anyone who tried. I think. Maybe he wouldn’t care. But he actually hit me. I can’t believe it. How could he? Am I really that worthless?
The entries had become more and more sparse after that, but I began to notice they never talked about anything happy. I went back and forth between complaining about Aaron and loving him. I vented about Seth a lot more than I remembered.
I fell back on the bed. I couldn’t believe Seth had actually read this. When I posted it online, it was in the ‘Stories’ section. None of the people there had any idea that it was just a shadow of my real life. I had gotten so many comments: When is Seth going to come back? Seth has to come back and save her! Why doesn’t she break up with Aaron?
I wanted to scream, to tell them that I literally had no control over the story. I wanted Seth to come back as much as they did, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
But Seth… Seth knew it was real. He would recognize the names, the events. If I had ever hoped to keep anything from him… well, I was out of luck now.
I mumbled something inaudible and rolled over. It was too early to think. “Sophie, I have a question for you.”
Seth?
“It’s important, so I need you to listen. Can you do that?”
I forced myself to open one eye. “What?”
“That stuff you wrote in your journal… is it true?”
“What journal?” I mumbled.
“The one online. It’s all real?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t realize what I was saying, didn’t really care.
“All of it?” he pressed. “Even the stuff at… the beginning.”
“Yes.” I rolled over again and buried my head in the pillow.
“Sophie.”
“What?” I snapped, forcing my eyes to open to meet Seth’s serious ones.
“Are you going to school?”
I flinched. “I… really don’t want to.”
“Okay. You stay here, then. I’ll be back soon.”
I didn’t know what he meant by soon, and I didn’t really care. All I knew was that it was quiet and I could sleep.
When I woke up, Seth was still gone. I was surprised to see it was only 10:30. I barely ever got up that early when I had a free day. But I guess I had caught up on my sleep.
I grabbed my phone. This time, there were only three missed calls and two new messages. Before I could check either of them, my phone began to buzz. “Hey Seth,” I answered, glancing at the caller ID.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Where are you?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m on my way back.”
“See you in a few minutes.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
I hung up the phone and fell back again. I pulled my laptop towards me, opened it, and froze. Seth’s words from last night – this morning – came rushing back. The webpage up wasn’t my latest journal, it was all my journals, even the ones from… before.
Words jumped out at me as I read the thoughts of my 13-year old self. Hate him… can’t believe he left me… my dad… what’s gonna happen to me?
I scanned down a bit, feeling tears start to fill my eyes as I relived it. Aaron asked me out… he’s so nice… he won’t leave me.
And then, last year when everything went to hell. Aaron’s been acting different lately. He’s not the same boy I fell in love with.
There. The one I could still remember typing. It was disjointed, raw, and probably made no sense, but I couldn’t bear to relive the night to edit it. I took a deep breath and scrolled down until the entry came into view.
He hit me. God I can’t believe he actually hit me. No one’s ever done that, not even my dad. Seth would’ve beat up anyone who tried. I think. Maybe he wouldn’t care. But he actually hit me. I can’t believe it. How could he? Am I really that worthless?
The entries had become more and more sparse after that, but I began to notice they never talked about anything happy. I went back and forth between complaining about Aaron and loving him. I vented about Seth a lot more than I remembered.
I fell back on the bed. I couldn’t believe Seth had actually read this. When I posted it online, it was in the ‘Stories’ section. None of the people there had any idea that it was just a shadow of my real life. I had gotten so many comments: When is Seth going to come back? Seth has to come back and save her! Why doesn’t she break up with Aaron?
I wanted to scream, to tell them that I literally had no control over the story. I wanted Seth to come back as much as they did, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
But Seth… Seth knew it was real. He would recognize the names, the events. If I had ever hoped to keep anything from him… well, I was out of luck now.
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay, I feel the need to say this, just in case anybody's wondering....THIS STORY IS NOT REAL.
Got it?
Good.
I feel like one of those disclaimers... This is a fiction story. Any resemblance to events or persons, past or present, is entirely coincidental.
My brain is fried. So ignore that last comment. (Although I'm pretty sure they do put that at the beginning of books.)
Anyways, this was just a plot twist that came to mind, a way for Seth to figure out what went on while he was gone, and it's gonna lead to something I think you guys might like (: