Living for the Music

Neither Seth or I did much that weekend. Mara didn’t bother us, either. She just floated around the house, letting me know she was there if I needed anything. She seemed more than willing to give Seth and I our alone time, and I appreciated that.

Seth, on the other hand, ever left me alone. He was always there to give me a kiss on the forehead or to be my shoulder to cry on. We spent a lot of time curled up in his room, watching movies, listening to music, or just talking. We still had most of three years to catch up on, and this time I wasn’t leaving anything out.

“So what set him off this time?” Seth finally asked. We were both laying on his bed, listening to music. Funny how everything seemed better when you put it to music. “Why was he more… violent than usual?”

“He was overprotective,” I murmured, half to myself. “He got jealous really easily. Hence your first fight.”

I bit my lip, still a little upset that I had caused that. Despite all of Seth’s protests, I was the reason for the only two fights on his record. “Anyways, he saw the text and overanalyzed it and got pissed off.”

“What text?” Seth pressed gently. “I don’t think I talked to you that night… Actually, I know I didn’t because I was worried I hadn’t heard from you. Especially after...."

He died off, but I was already thinking back, trying to remember exactly what had happened. “Oh. It was Jared.”

Seth tensed next to me. “What did he do this time?” he snapped.

“Huh? No, it wasn’t his fault. It was actually mine. I had lied to him about New Years, and then Jared mentioned it – casually, but Aaron over-reacted and… yeah.” I bit my lip a littler harder. “Yeah, it was all my fault.”

“No it wasn’t,” Seth corrected harshly. He was probably getting annoyed – we’d had this conversation before. “None of this was your fault, Sophie. I should have gotten you out of the relationship-”

“I would’ve hated you if you had tried,” I interrupted.

“But it would’ve been worth it,” he murmured. “Seeing you, shivering under that tree… I thought you were dead, Sophie. I thought he had killed you. I should’ve done anything I could to prevent that.”

Silence grew between us as we both became lost in thought. Mara poked her head in before either of us could say anything we’d regret. “Seth?”

“Yeah?” He sounded tired, and I kicked myself for keeping him up. It was probably eleven o’clock, and I knew he hadn’t been getting much sleep. Well, I hadn’t been, and he felt the need to be awake whenever I was. It was sweet, but I knew it must be wearing him out.

“You’re going to school tomorrow,” she announced cheerfully.

“Mom,” he sighed. “We talked about this. I’m suspended, remember? The fight to protect Sophie’s honor?”

“Your suspension's over," she informed him.

He sighed quietly. “Okay,” he finally agreed. “I’ll go.”

He glanced down at me. “You coming?”

I nibbled on my lip. It was becoming a bad habit of mine. “I dunno…”

“Sophie, I know I’m not your mom,” Mara began, “but I would encourage you to go. You’ve already missed quite a few days, and your problems are still going to be there, no matter when you decide to face them.”

I looked up at Seth, who nodded as well. “If we both go tomorrow, we can start fresh together. I’ll help you, Sophie. I won’t let Aaron get to you.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. Maybe I would end up regretting this, but I could give it a try. I owed them so much more, but this would be a start.

I slept at Seth’s house again that night, but it wasn’t a good sleep. I woke up frequently, spurred awake by reoccurring nightmares. Seth woke up with me the first few times, but after that I forced myself to lay in silence. He needed his sleep more than I needed him.