Six Feet Under The Stars

“So how was yesterday?” Colby questioned as I sat down at the breakfast bar beside him with my cereal. “You seemed pretty keen to get to your room last night.”

I lazily shrugged and yawned. I was beat and whilst my stomach was empty there was little else I could think about but food. “It was...alright,” I answered a little unsure of myself and Colby scoffed, milk trickling down his chin.

“Yeah sounds it,” he muttered sarcastically before he shovelled another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. It was truly disgusting to watch him eat anything; he always chewed with his mouth half open and he never finished one mouthful before piling in another. Really it was like watching a hunger ravaged child whom hadn’t eaten anything for three weeks.

“Can you not speak with your mouth full please?”

I grinned as Michelle scolded my brother and went to the fridge. I figured she was dressed for work when I noticed that she was wearing a dark red blouse and a knee length black pencil skirt. From what I could remember of my aunt she was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl.

“Off to work?” I inquired quietly as I finished off my breakfast and stood to place my bowl beside the sink. With a short sharp nod that I recognised only too well as the ‘yes, and I’m dreading it’ gesture my aunt grabbed her sandwiches and placed them into her bag before rushing out of the house without so much as a ‘see you later, alligator’.

Colby and I shared a look before he quickly polished off his cereal and tossed his bowl into the sink with a loud clang that reverberated around the otherwise silent kitchen. I rolled my eyes at my brother’s disrespect for other people’s property and sighed before slinking out into the lounge.

I really had no plans for today and therefore had decided that I would try to make myself at home by lazing around all day, watching the television and eating Michelle out of house and home.

“Any plans for today?” Colby asked me as he took a seat on the lone chair, his legs folded up underneath him. I shook my head and flicked on the television with the remote control before turning to face him with a bored grimace.

“I thought running away would be more exciting than this,” I admitted causing him to laugh.

My theory had been that running away would produce so much adrenaline that my feet would barely touch the ground, metaphorically speaking anyway. I figured that life would just be far too exciting for me to find time to just sit and think about what I had done. I barely expected myself to be regretting my decision ever so slightly only three days in.

Cole banged his fist against the arm of his chair and I jumped, “I’m going to learn how to drive.”

That was all it took for me to start chortling with laughter so hard that I thought my insides were trying to escape out of my belly button. It had always been a joke between my mother and me that Colby should never be allowed behind the wheel of a car; he was far too angry when it came to motorists and pedestrians. He had severe road rage as a passenger and I could already see the psychotic look on his face as he mowed down a few elderly ladies for crossing the road too slow.

I was busy trying to subside my laughter when the phone rang and Cole answered it. He ‘ummed’ and ‘ahhed’ for a few minutes before thanking the person on the other end of the line and hanging up the sleek black cordless phone. I looked at him inquisitively as he seated himself again slowly, looking rather sick.

I began to panic slightly as I thought of all the possible scenarios that could have caused my brother to look so pale. I imagined Michelle’s mangled car piled up on the highway having been crushed by a four hundred ton lorry and I could feel the bile beginning to rise up from my stomach. (Which by the way I always found incredibly odd, I mean defying the laws of gravity much?)

Colby shuddered once before beginning to shake his head slowly, “I just...he can’t have...oh god what have we done?”

I tried in vain to figure out what he was talking about but it made my head hurt and I was still worried sick that Michelle was laying dead somewhere, crushed under her pretty little Volkswagen bug. “Colby, what it is, come on you’ve got me feeling nauseas over here,” I mumbled forcing out a scared laugh.

“He had a heart attack,” he whispered and I creased my forehead in confusion.

“Who had a heart attack?” I asked slowly desperately trying to think of what Colby was talking about.

He gasped for an intake of breath before barely managing to stutter out, “dad.”

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I had been sick shortly after Colby’s revelation. My Lucky Charms hadn’t stood a chance once the ‘it’s all my fault’ thought crossed my mind. I rushed into the bathroom and emptied my stomach right into the porcelain bowl of the toilet.

I was still there when Michelle came home a panicked look written all over her face as he found me cheek down against the rim.

“Oh hunny,” she mumbled sympathetically I rolled my face around and gagged for what felt like the millionth time that hour. I stayed still in that position for a few minutes as my aunt’s footsteps retreated away from her bathroom and she spoke to Cole.

I could barely hear their words; most of the sound was just a low humming almost like a buzz in my ears. I caught a few stray words but I focused on staring at myself in the reflection of the clear water. I had had at least enough sense to flush my vomit before I simply laid there.

The room still smelt however and I knew that my breath reeked because I could taste it. Colby had offered me a glass of water but at the time I had been so hysterical that I could barely take deep breaths let alone ingest a liquid. It seemed that my brother had gone into carer mode the second I fell into an unattractive coma like state. He had been arguing with me as I sat hysterical, crying and shouting about how it was entirely my fault but as soon as I stopped and just simply laid there he tried to look after me and stopped trying to yell some sense into me.

I barely even registered the two reasonably strong arms wrapping their way around my torso until I was completely off of the ground and I looked up to stare at my brother. I knew I weighed very little compared to the weights he sometimes claimed to have lifted but I was still a little surprised by how easily he seemed to be able to carry me up the stairs and through to my room. He never even broke a sweat.

“It’s my fault,” I whispered again and Colby shook his head at me with a small smile.

“Don’t say that because if it’s your fault it’s my fault more because I said some pretty nasty things that are way to rude for your ears,” he mumbled as he lay me down on my unbelievably comfy bed. It must have been due to my laying on the floor of the bathroom because it felt even more amazing than it had the night before.

I nodded at my brother feeling very sleepy suddenly and yawned, failing to cover my mouth with a hand as I did so.

“Jesus Bee, you’re breath fucking pongs,” my brother gagged and I let out a very small laugh before I let the sleep consume me.