Six Feet Under The Stars

I had never been a fan of hospitals and I didn’t think I ever would be. There just wasn’t a single thing about a hospital that seemed pleasant. I hated everything about them from the sterile smell that hit you as soon as you walked in down to the scratchy cream bed covers that they made patients sleep under.

I hadn’t stopped thinking about hospitals and blood tests since I had woken up that morning at six thirty; half an hour before my alarm. I was anxious to get the ordeal over with and be able to relax at home for a little while.

“Scared?” I shook my head whilst taking a deep breath and clenching my fists into a ball. Scared didn’t even really begin to cover what I was feeling; I was absolutely terrified. “Just relax; it’ll be over in less than a minute.”

Nodding I tried to relax and un-tense my muscles but it was futile. I cringed as the nurse wiped at my arm before picking up the needle and holding it to my arm. I quickly looked away and closed my eyes exhaling deeply.

I whimpered as I felt the needle prick at my skin. I could distantly hear Colby laughing and I figured that our dad had said something funny. It almost killed me that they could joke about at a time like this; we were motherless and having tests to find out if we were going to end up the same way. It really was no laughing matter.

“All done,” I smiled at the nurse weakly as I stood up and cradled my arm. She handed me back my white form and I left the small cubicle feeling a little weak at the knees.

When I emerged back in the small waiting room my father stood up and gestured for Colby to do the same. He wanted to get this day over with as much as I did; besides I had spent the last forty minutes deciding whether I was going to go through with the blood test so I was hardly surprised he was anxious to get moving.

We made our way across the hospital quickly, knowing exactly where we were headed. We passed several different wings and wards and I smiled apologetically at anyone we came across as if it would make them any better. But I knew how they felt to be stuck in here with unhelpful nurses and more ifs and buts than anyone could handle.

If my test results didn’t come out how I hoped in thirty or forty years I would be in their exact same position and I would want the sympathy.

I felt Colby fall into step beside me and I looked up from my feet to look at him questionably, “Why are you the twin that doesn’t have a phobia of needles, why did I get all the rubbish traits?”

He snickered at me and I glared slightly for him to stop. It was true Colby had the nicer name and he was prettier than I was and he was sportier than I was and he had a lot less phobias than I did. I envied my brother.

“I think you’re the better twin, you’re the one who looks like mum. I look like dad.”

I laughed hard catching my father’s attention which only set me off into a fit o giggles. It felt good to actually be amused again and to feel free enough to laugh. I had been holding in any kind of emotion for so long that I was worried I would never be able to feel anything again; now I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing.

Colby smiled at our dad carefully whilst nudging me in the side. There was nothing wrong with looking like our father, he was actually quite a good looking man and Colby definitely wasn’t unattractive but our mother had been beautiful.

Her long blonde hair that always cascaded down her back in soft curls and her deep brown eyes were what made her a classic beauty along with her gorgeous hour glass figure. I knew that all my friends’ parents envied her and as a small child it had always made me so proud to have a mummy that other children thought looked like a princess.

Of course most of that changed when she became ill. People weren’t envious anymore and although her features hadn’t changed her eyes no longer held sparkle and her hair was lank and lifeless.

I did look like her, in fact pictures of her at my age and those of me were hard to tell apart. If it weren’t for the difference if picture quality I doubted that a stranger would have been able to tell that it was two different people.

But I still thought that Colby was the cooler and better twin.

We arrived at our final destination of the day and I stopped laughing immediately. The blood test was nothing compared to what I was about to be subjected to.