Six Feet Under The Stars

When I awoke on Monday morning I could feel that something wasn’t quite right. It may have had something to do with the bizarre dream I had been having but something inside of me refused to believe that it was. The mood throughout the entire house seemed sombre and I just dreaded to think what the matter was now. I knew it couldn’t have been about my letter because straight after the chat with my father I had removed it from its hiding place and put it inside a lockable jewellery box, to which only I had a key.

So I was nowhere near as nervous as I should have been when I finally entered the kitchen. Both Colby and our father were seated in their usual seats opposite each other, but today they were glaring vehemently at one another.

I sighed taking the seat at the head of the table. Neither had looked at me since I entered the room and I figured that to gain their attention I would have to ask the dreaded question.

“What’s happened?”

I probably sounded like I couldn’t care less, and that was because in all honesty I couldn’t. Whatever had seemingly upset and angered my dad and brother probably had nothing to do with me.

I watched as Colby sat up, back straight before turning to me briefly with an irritated look. I raised my eyebrows as he turned back to our father, glaring once again. “Go on dad, why don’t you tell her.”

Now I was really confused, it was clear that neither of them were angry or upset with me but I couldn’t exactly see how they could be mad at each other; they had always gotten along so well.

My father still refused to look at me and I began to wonder if I too should be mad about something. Colby was the only one who truly looked angry; dad just looked a little pissed off and I had already decided that it was he who had done something wrong.

I sighed again drumming my fingers along the wooden table top, “What did you do that pissed Cole off so much?”

Now it was his turn to sigh and sit back against his chair, he still hadn’t looked at me and I began to think that he probably wouldn’t at all.

It seemed a little ironic, yesterday it was me who was afraid to look at anyone because of what I did and now it was my father; the one person who should know better.

“Now remember I only did this because I care about you,” he started causing Colby to scoff loudly and shake his head in disgust. Undeterred he continued, “A few weeks back I was speaking to your aunt and she mentioned how much she missed you.”

I pulled a face in confusion; I had several aunts that probably missed me seeing as how they lived all over the place.

“Which one?” I asked quickly sensing that my father was about to continue.

He glanced over at me quickly and shook his head a little, “I’m sorry what?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, “Which aunt, dad?”

“Oh right, sorry your aunt Michelle, from your mother’s side.”

I nodded once. Aunt Michelle was nice I hadn’t seen her since I was about twelve when she moved across the pond to the states but I often spoke on the phone to her during mum’s illness and she was always far too interested in my life for her own good.

My father took my silence as an okay to continue, “We were just chatting and she suggested that maybe you could go and visit her.”

I smiled a little, “Seriously, can I go?”

I was excited now, I had always wanted to go and see her and now it seemed I was going to get my wish. Colby was still looking rather thunderous and I still didn’t understand why, surely he didn’t have to go either.

“Of course you can go; I already told Michelle that you would.”

I grinned again, a little annoyed that he had made a decision for me but excited all the same. I was busy planning what I would pack when Colby stood up and ordered my father to tell me the truth.

Once again confused I looked over at my father with my best what is he talking about face.

“Go on dad, tell her how you arranged for her to move in with aunt Michelle, without even asking her.”

I choked on my own spit. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Is that true?” I asked quietly taking my father’s silence as an affirmative. “So what you just thought you’d get rid of me? Palm me off on someone else?”

By this point I was pretty much livid, I could hardly believe that I was that much of a burden to anyone, let alone my own father. Everything about Colby’s attitude seemed to make sense now; he was only getting rid of me.

“What exactly have I done wrong, I’m no different from Cole, in fact I’m better behaved.” I ranted sending an apologetic glance at my brother. “The only thing different about us is that I look like mum.”

I watched my father’s face turn anguished and everything clicked into its rightful place. I hadn’t done anything. I wasn’t a troublesome child. I hadn’t given my father a reason to get rid of me, he just couldn’t stand to look at me and see my mother every time anymore.