Never Say Always

Very cute banner by x2chocochip! (: ♥

“Katy, are you alright? You look like death warmed up,” Laura shouted over the music, and I had to blink back the tears.

Truth was, my stomach was killing me, my head was spinning – not to mention that the angry look on Joe's face made me feel ten times worse.

“Get me backstage, would you? Please Laura, look at his face – he's mad at me isn't he? But we only just go--”

“Hey hey,” Laura soothed, rubbing her hand up and down my back. “I'll get you backstage, alright? Just.. calm the heck down. If he starts being an irrational ass about Josh then I'll have to kick some ass.”

Laura grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the stage and the angry glare that was directed at me every two seconds. I felt suddenly light headed, and I quickly leaned against a wall trying to breathe.

“Whoa, are you okay Katy? Seriously, I thought it was just the people being so close to you on the dance floor but seriously – are you alright?” Laura's soft voice was laced with concern, and this time – I didn't even think to hold back the tears.

“What if he thinks I'm with Josh? I'm not Laur, you believe me right?” I choked through tears as Laura embraced me into a comforting hug.

“Look, everybody that knows you knows how head over heels you are for Joe. And if he doesn't realize that? Then well, it's his loss Katy. You're crazy about him, we all know that.” She cooed in my ear, stepping back from the hug when she heard three voices that sounded just like the three brothers.

All three of them approached us, Laura quickly looking at me, then looking back at Kevin and Nick; her eyes trying to communicate.

“Ugh, come on you two – I need some water.” Laura grabbed Nick and Kevin's hands quickly, walking them in the opposite direction.

“Joe it wasn't--”

“You know what? Don't even explain yourself to me, because you know what? I have an important call to make, to Camilla. Excuse me.” Joe glared, his icy tone hitting my heart.

More importantly, the name he mentioned in that sentence. Camilla freakin' Belle.

I blinked back the tears as the pain in my stomach returned, attacking through me like some sharp knife.

I tried ignoring the excruciating pain and walked over to the sideline of the darkened stage, quickly looking around for some sort of instrument.

I noticed an acoustic guitar propped up against the wall and I grabbed the neck harshly, running out onto the stage.

The lights shone down on me, and soon my appearance was being taken in by the people still in the bar, making me slightly nervous.

“Uh—Yeah.. I just wanna play this song for someone special.” I spoke into the microphone, the silence building up in the bar as I looked to the sidelines and seen four familiar faces.

Good. Joe, Kevin, Nick and Laura are watching. Now he'll see what it's like to be torn.

“I gave you all you desired
All that you needed, boy I provided
I let you into my head, into my bed
And that's a privilege
I had your backing the answers
You took the dollars, I took the chances
Defended, battled and fought
Cos I really thought you loved me

I don't know where to start or where to stop, no
But I know I am done, I've had enough

Fall,
Out of my hands,
Out of my heart and when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I'll be watching while you fall,
Out of your mind,
Out of your fantasy when you hit the wall
Think of me;
I'll be on the top just watching you fall

You said that you were the strong one
I was the girl and I was the young one
I kept your feet on the ground
My head in the realms I had to
You told me you were so grateful
I was with you and I was so faithful
I stood by and all that you said and all that you did
I loved you

I don't know how to act or what to say
But I know I am good, I'll be OK
And you

Fall,
Out of my hands,
Out of my heart and when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I'll be watching while you fall,
Out of your mind,
Out of your fantasy when you hit the wall
Think of me;
I'll be on the top just watching you fall
I'll be on the top just watching you fall

Fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall
I want you to

Fall,
Out of my hands,
Out of my heart and when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I'll be watching while you fall,
Out of your mind,
Out of your fantasy when you hit the wall
Think of me;
I'll be on the top just watching you fall

Fall,
Out of my hands,
Out of my heart and when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I'll be watching while you fall,
Out of your mind
Out of your fantasy when you hit the wall
Think of me;

I'll be on the top just watching you fall..”

I held the long note for as long as possible, taking all it had not to look at the sidelines. The crowd gave me a standing ovation, but that didn't shake the bottomless bit I felt in my heart, or my paining stomach for that matter.

“You know somethin' guys?” I asked into the microphone, and had screams as response. “Never say always to someone, because you never know – they'll go and do something stupid like believe it.”

I finally looked to the sidelines and noticed three faces missing, and a aggravated Laura watching on the sidelines. I took this as my opportunity to get off stage, and as I did – I was met with Laura's cold stare.

“What the hell, Katy? You just totally humiliated Joe out there!” Laura screamed in my face, and the anger boiled up in my face.

“Oh, and you don't think that I just did that for no reason at all? He told me he was going to call Cam-shitta for christ sakes! What was I supposed to do, just stand here and cry like a baby?”

“Katy I--”

“No Laura, don't even bother. I'm sick of it. Don't come looking for me – I don't care anymore. Do what the hell you like.” I shrugged her off, trying to find the fire escape door so I could escape what I have just established as, hell.

I dug my phone out and dialled the number that should probably be on my speed dial for the amount of times I call it.

“Can you book me the the earliest flight back to LA? It's urgent.”

*****************

I stood in the hotel room, taking in the beautiful view as I zipped close my suitcase with a heavy heart. I came here to get away from the drama, not make my life more messed up than it already was.

“Where are you going?” My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach at the familiar sound.

“Where does it look like I'm going? I can't stay here, it's killing me.” I whispered, letting my body fall onto the bed.

“Don't leave,” the remorse in his voice sounding almost convincing. “I didn't mean those things I said, I didn't call Camilla. It's not her I want, Katy. I want you, forever.” The pain in my stomach was slowly easing, but the throbbing in my heart just wouldn't stop.

“Joe, you can't keep bringing her up every time we fight.. it's not fair.” I lowered my head, finding my hands rather interesting.

“I know beautiful it's just... watching him with you, his eyes looking the exact same way I do when I look at you, it just made me see red. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” His voice was laced with desperation.

I looked up at him, his beautiful eyes were now glazing over, the darkness returning to them. Because of him losing me again. It wasn't fair, but it was happening. I was slipping between his fingers, and it was his fault.

“Somehow Joe, I don't think your sorry.” I spoke softly, locking eyes with him.

“You-You don't believe me?!” His voice loudened, and I took the opportunity to press my hand against his warm cheek and caress it lightly.

“Joe...” I blinked back the tears, getting prepared for my speech. “Maybe we just aren't meant to be. Have you ever thought of that?” I spoke so quietly that it was actually a miracle that Joe had heard me.

Oh he heard me alright.

“No, Katy! We are meant to be together, don't you see? I've never felt this way about anyone before. I'm crazy, insane, totally besotted with you – and your the only one who can't see it!” He shot up from the bed, pushing my hand away.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” I muttered, and he gave me the most coldest glare, that the pain from my stomach had come back, again.

“Why are you like this?” He questioned.

I didn't answer, because truthfully – I didn't even know why myself. He was putting himself on the line for me, and I was too scared to take the first step.

“Don't be afraid to fall, Katy. I know your scared, but will you trust me?”Joe looked deep into my eyes, probably searching for an answer.

I tried ignoring the question as I too, got up from the bed and pulled my suitcase off too; standing it upright, a single tear falling from my eye.

“Joe,” I sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. “I did fall, but you didn't catch me – and I fell hard for you. I fell onto the cold, hard concrete and you weren't there to pick up the pieces.” I looked at him one last time as I tugged on my suitcase, tip-toeing up to his cheek and kissing it softly – lingering.

I took in the feel of his skin one last time, the way his raven hair fell over his face, the slight stubble he had – the intoxicating smell I would no longer smell.

“My flight's in two hours. I gotta go, Joe.” I whispered, pulling away from him and lowering myself to normal height.

“Don't leave.”

Please Que the violins of some sort, and two breaking hearts – oh, throw in a dodgy stomach too.

“I have to.”

“But I love you.”

“It's not enough, Joe.”

“This is a fight I refuse to lose..” Joe sung softly, and that's when I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let out a loud sob, tugging on my suitcase and not bothering to look back at his broken face.

Because somehow, I knew this was my fault this time – and that was the biggest mistake I ever made.

“I can see it in your eyes you're scared
All these things they force you to do aren't fair
I'm here to chase away these tears
And baby, we can chase away these fears

Because sometimes, baby, you fall on your back
But girl, you're three times a lady I'll ever have
You know, you know it's true
This is a fight a refuse to lose

And I'll run
Have a little faith in me
You're scared and alone
And I'll run
This is where we both break free
I'll bring you home, you home, you home

I can hear it in your voice you care
Let me run my fingers in and through your hair
I'll keep you company at night
And baby, I'm here to make this right

Because sometimes, baby, you fall on your back
But girl, you're three times a lady I'll ever have
You know, you know it's true
This is a fight a refuse to lose

And I'll run
Have a little faith in me
You're scared and alone
And I'll run
This is where we both break free
I'll bring you home, you home, you home

Believe me and don't think twice
And don't leave me or say goodbye
Believe me
Believe me tonight

Believe me and don't think twice
And believe me

And I'll run
Have a little faith in me
You're scared and alone

And I'll run
Have a little faith in me
You're scared and alone
And I'll run
This is where we both break free
I'll bring you home, you home, you home

Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me

If you have a little faith in me...”