Never Say Always

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Two pink lines. The two pink lines that made me crack, made me break. My whole world was spinning, my life had just about fell apart – everything was just bad timing, or a complete mistake. But I couldn't take this one back, no no.

Because them two pink lines made it oh so clear that I was in fact, pregnant. Or to put it in simpler form; an alien was growing inside my body. I thought that the consistent pain in my stomach was because I missed Joe so much that my head and heart wasn't the only thing battling these withdrawal symptoms, but I guess I was wrong about something important in my life – yet again.

I looked down at my semi-flat stomach, the tears threatening my face. I didn't have anybody to even talk about this with – I didn't have a mom, I didn't even know if I had a best friend anymore. Everything was just so messed up; and now to top it all off, I was becoming a single mother at a ripe age of twenty.

I picked up my Iphone and scrolled down my contact list, my fingertips quickly lingering on the one number. Maybe he didn't need to be called, maybe he didn't need to know about me being pregnant with his baby. I should of just stayed with him, then maybe we'd be going through this together, and not me being a one woman show.

I reluctantly clicked the green button, pressing the phone against my ear. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't pick up – after all, I left him; I ignored him for two weeks – and he practically did everything in his power to fly over to Florida to try and patch things up, but I guess me and my big mouth didn't get either of us anywhere in that situation.

I suddenly began to grow bored with the monotone ringing noise, and pressed end call. I should of known better, I knew he wouldn't of answered anyway – I was stupid to even think he'd give me the time of day. I scrolled down again and landed on another number, but this time I didn't even bother to hesitate – I pressed the phone to my ear again, nervousness building up inside.

“Katy, why are you calling?” I heard the aggravated voice by no one other than Kevin Jonas.

“I-I need someone to talk to. I don't know where Laura is, I can't get hold of Joe--”

“Are you surprised? You basically bitched them both out.” His harsh words stung, but I knew he was right.

“Can you come over? I really need somebody right now, Kevin. I'll explain when you get here, okay?” I heard him sigh on the line, and quickly heard the dial tone.

I didn't even bother to look at myself in the mirror, that would just be asking for it. After all, I hadn't seen daylight for over two weeks, my food supply was running low – my beautiful tan fading, just like everything else in my life. Isn't that ironic how everything just slowly disappears from you, and you can't do anything about it?

I heard the front door open and slam shut as I peaked around the doorway to see the curly haired Jonas aggravated. I sighed and walked into the hallway – giving a fake smile, which obviously affected Kevin's mood even more.

“Well? What do you want to tell me? Don't tell me that I've ditched Joe for--”

“You were hanging out with Joe? Why the hell didn't you tell him!” I slapped him on the chest, if only looks could kill.

“I did, Katy. He doesn't wanna know! Quite frankly, he doesn't care anymore. He's hurting right now, and this time it's not his fault.” His cold tone made me shiver slightly as I backed away from his stiffened posture and walked into the bathroom, collecting the stick of doom.

“Seems as he's not here,” I threw the stick at Kevin; he instantly caught it – his face turning pale. “You can tell him that he's going to become a daddy.”

“Whoa whoa,” Kevin put his hands up in defence. “This is your mess Katy. I'm not being a messenger!”

I ran a hand through my greasy hair, absent-mindedly putting a hand on my stomach protectively.

“Well if I can't fucking get hold of him Kevin, how am I supposed to tell him? I don't want him finding out from the damn media, there's enough rumours about it as it is!” I hissed, my voice cracking.

I couldn't believe how harsh Kevin was towards me – okay, yeah I could; but why isn't he helping me? Doesn't he want Joe to know that he's created a life? Created something so special and amazing that he'll instantly come back to me and all will be forgiven? Okay, now I really am being hopeful.

“That's your problem, not mine! I'm not being dragged into this 'Jaty' drama – from what I hear, you two get pretty fucking nasty,” I scoffed at the stupid nickname and rolled my eyes.

“Get out, Kevin.” I spoke softly, obviously not getting nowhere. “Get out!”

I heard him sigh in irritation as he walked out the apartment, slamming the door – that was probably my last ever contact with a person for a while, you can bet on that. Laura hates me, Joe doesn't even care, Kevin also hates me and I have no idea what Nick thinks of me right now.

I picked up a few pieces of paper and a pen, sitting down on the cold, leather sofa as the lyrics poured out of me, all my tears – my frustration – my heartbreak finally paying off in a musical term.

“You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take
You take the very best of me
So I start a fight
'Cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want
'Cause I'm not what you wanted

Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away
No use in defending words
That you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here
Thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you”

*******************

I felt my Iphone vibrate in my sweats as I pulled it out, my heart beating abnormally fast. Let's just hope that I didn't fuck this conversation up, or my life will officially be over, before it's even begun properly.

“Where the hell have you been, Katy! I've been worried sick about you,” Laura's panic stricken voice screeched over the phone, my heart rate slowly stabilizing.

“Where do you think I've been? I've been sat in my apartment for two damn weeks, Laur.” I groaned, a shooting pain surging through my stomach.

“Why didn't you tell me first?” Her saddened voice obviously meant about the alien currently living inside of me.

“From what I heard, you weren't talking to me. You were just added to the long list of ignorant people that keep ignoring me all the time.” I could almost hear her roll her eyes at my sarcasm, but I didn't care.

“Kevin told you then?”

“Of course he told me, he came to my house looking like he'd seen a damn ghost! Then he pulled out the test and said that he was going to be an uncle,” She giggled softly – obviously she found it funny. “It was kinda hilarious actually, for a minute I saw his face light up when he said he was going to be an uncle – it was totally adorable.” My heart dropped at how Kevin's attitude had changed within a short space of time – if only Joe could pull his head out his ass and stop being so hard-headed about the way we ended and do the same.

“How far gone are you?” Laura asked, shaking me from my thoughts.

“I don't know, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow – and before you ask; I have tried calling Joe and according to Kevin; he doesn't care and he wants nothing to do with me.” I instantly felt the loneliness wash over me as realization kicked in – he wasn't coming back this time.

“Why don't you go round to the Jonas'? I'm sure that Denise will welcome you in.” Laura's optimistic tone made me consider that thought, until I remembered how much Mr. Jonas didn't approve.

“Remember when I said that someone in the family hated me? Yeah, that's Mr. Jonas – so no, going round there isn't an option.”

“Well you need to tell him Katy, sooner or later.”

I sighed, beginning to get irritated. Did they all think I was stupid or something? Of course I knew that I had to tell him, but if he won't even pick up the god damn phone, and if Mr. Jonas didn't want to poke my eyes out with a fork at the welcoming dinner over two years ago, maybe I would of gone round there – but you have no chance now.

“I-I don't know what to do.” I whimpered, closing my eyes for a brief moment.

“Are you going to keep it?” She questioned, whispering slightly.

I nearly choked on my own saliva. How dare she even ask such a stupid question! And there's her, trying to play all Dr. Phil on my ass

“Are you insane?! Of course I'm keeping it! With or without Joe by my side!” I screeched, another shooting pain passing through my stomach.

“Well I'm sorry K, you have no choice but to face Mr. Jonas and go round there – you need to tell him before the media have a field day.”

Ugh, so much for a best friend. Why won't she come round here and bring me some fucking ice-cream or something? Mmm, ice-cream. Do you know how appealing that sounds? Anyway; I'm beginning to actually grow tired of the same old sentence of telling Joe. Don't they think I know that already? Either way, it's not going to be easy.

Getting hold of him is going to be the hardest – but telling him? Well, I might as well buy body armour and a AK-47 just in case Mr. Jonas brings out a javelin, or worse – a shotgun.