Never Say Always

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Walking through the doors of the set, I didn't even have chance to talk to Laura about the whole 'Kevin main man' thing, as about fifty people came up to me about my hair and make-up.

I got dragged away and down a corridor, pleading with Laura in my eyes to at least come with me – but instead; the bitch just stood there with a smirk on her face.

So this is supposed to be funny? This is like personal hell to me!

I rolled my eyes out of instinct as they began their work, barbie dolling me up for what I thought was a fucking music video, not a awards ceremony.

At least I didn't catch sight of Joe or Nick though, because if they are here? I think I might just have to start digging that early grave of mine. Seriously, like Kevin will be able to keep in the fact that he nearly kissed Joe's ex.

“Wanna take a look at your beautiful self? You look gorgeous!” One of the stylists cooed, spinning the chair around so quickly that I felt like I was going to throw up, but that soon vanished as I took a look at myself in the mirror.



I looked gorgeous, I had to admit. The stylists didn't go so overboard after all, they made my eyes stand out more than anything with the eyeliner, and my hair was simply put up in a classy updo.

“Wow, doesn't somebody look gorgeous?” I looked in the mirror again to see Laura stood with a clipboard in her hands, smirking like mad.

“Is there any reason why you placed Kevin Jonas as my main man?” I raised an eyebrow, Laura's smirk growing even wider, if possible.

She blushed a furious red, looking down at her clipboard whist biting her lip. Oh yeah, I knew that. She liked him! Argh, couldn't she just ask him out on a date instead of me getting hit on by him? Oh shit, she can't know that he hit on me. I'd be dead.

“God Laura, are you that dense? Just go talk to him for christ sakes!” I got up from the chair, standing next to her and nudging her side playfully.

“Are you kidding me? Kevin Jonas? He's like the hottest guy with curls! I can't just go up to him and be like 'yo, I like you – date me?' can I?” Her eyes widened, making me bite my lip, holding in my laughter.

“Well, no obviously – but you could start a conversation, you know; you could get to know him,” I sarcastically added, making her narrow her eyes at me.

I laughed again, walking down the corridor to have about a thousand eyes on me, and a on-the-move wardrobe. Oh yes, because this wasn't awkward.

“Katy, you look beautiful! I have-a so many designs-a to show you for your shoot!” The overly Italian man exaggerated, and I actually hoped that he was gay... sort of.

I looked at Laura again with a pleading look on her face, and she pulled me away; telling the Italian man nicely that he wasn't needed just yet.

I knew I could always count on Laura.

“All this is today, is the close up of you singing the song, okay? We're not going to do the vital things today, as we need this one first before we shoot the rest.” Laura rambled, pushing me into the 'set'.

All I had was a stool to sit on, and behind me was a simple white back-drop, making my Californian tan stand out completely.

“Are you ready?” Laura called out from the table, with all the Jonases.

I take that back, Laura is a bitch. A big bitch.

“Okay Katy if you could just divert your eyes from the gorgeous Jonas gang, the faster we can do this.”

I rolled my eyes sarcastically, nodding my head. Wow, this director was a fucking jerk. Talk about impatient?

The piano kicked in, and I instantly got into character, my eyes already watering – the thought of everybody hearing this song, including the person that it was actually about.

“You're everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could have been
But still, you live inside of me, so tell me how is that?
You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you're the only one

And though there are times when I hate you
'Cause I can't erase
The times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
And even now, while I hate you, it pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way,
no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no
broken-hearted girl.”

“That's it, Katy – now what I want you to do is picture something sad; and start crying.” The director called out, my eyes widening.

Arrogant guy say what?

“Excuse me?” I muttered in utter disgust, my head shaking.

“Well if you want the audience to see how personal this song is to you, that your in fact – going through the same thing, they'll want to buy it.” The director spoke matter-of-factly, gesturing me to get up off the stool.

I stood up from the stool and kicked it to the other side, out of frustration. Trust Laura to get the most arrogant, prick assed director in the business.

The music carried on playing, and I turned round, anger clearly written across my face as I began mouthing the words into the camera lens again.

“There's something that I feel I need to say
But up til' now I've always been afraid that you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out
You say you've got the most respect for me
But, sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still, you're in my heart
But you're the only one

And yes, there are times when I hate you, but I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh, but now I don't hate you
I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way,
no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no
broken-hearted girl”

I knew that the lyrics that came up next reflected on how I felt at the moment. I turned away from the lens, tears in my eyes already. I looked up at Laura, and the look on her face made me want to just sob right there and then.

“Think of that one bad thing in your life that you didn't wanna happen, C'mon Katy! We need to see some tears!” The director screamed, making me jump.

I glanced over at the table and locked eyes with Joe, a flashback emitting from my mind.

Flashback two years:

I pushed myself against the elevator wall and fell down it slowly, my breathing pattern so irregular that you would’ve thought I was having a heart attack.

And there I lay, once a broken girl; whose just became whole.

The elevator pinged and I took a deep breath as I looked at my appearance, and suddenly felt appalled with myself. Walking out; I heard a few gasps erupt from passers-by, my cheeks burning up in embarrassment.

“Katy?” I suddenly locked eyes with the love of my life as I stood still, his expression softened as he ran up to me; my mind spinning.

“Oh baby girl, I’m so sorry for leaving you.” He sighed as he took his jacket off, wrapping it around my shoulders as he scooped me up, carrying me out of the hotel bridal style.

“Joseph, can you promise me something?” I whispered as the cold air of California hit my body like a ton of bricks; making shivers run down my spine.

“Promise me you’ll never leave.” I spoke softly, my bottom lip quivering.

I didn’t want to admit it, but I needed Joseph Adam Jonas more than anybody else in the world.

“I promise Katy, forever. Forever and always. I want you for every second, every minute, and every hour of the rest of my days. I’ll never leave.” He stood still, making all eye contact with me, his eyes glistening from upcoming tears in his eyes.

He had rescued me from the inevitable, the impossible, and that made me realize that I love Joseph Adam Jonas - with my entire life.

Current time:

The first tear drop flawlessly cascaded down my face, and after that – it was like a never ending waterfall.

“That's it Katy, now look at the camera!”

I quickly tore my eyes away from Joe's and walked closer to the camera lens, mouthing the words again.

“Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free to spread my wings and fly away,
away with you....

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without my baby
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way,
no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no
Broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl.”

“And..CUT!” The director and everybody else clapped their hands, whilst Laura was busy pushing past them all and coming towards me, worry clasped across her face.

Instead of being happy that I'd just finished a days worth of filming, a loud sob emitted from my mouth as I fell to the floor, holding my head in my hands.

I felt pathetic, I felt stupid. I was crying over something stupid that happened two years ago, someone I lost to somebody else. What did she have that was better than me? Why did he choose her over me? It's simple – he preferred her; he chose her.

So why does he keep coming back here? To rub it in my face? To make me angry, upset, confused? He knew I still wanted him, he knew I still loved him. Hell, if he didn't then, he sure does now.

“Stop crowding round her! Will everyone just back off?!” I heard Laura call from a distance, probably pushing past endless of people wanting to get a closer look of me having a mental breakdown.

I felt someone pick me up bridal style, their familiar scent of cologne pulling me in, the warmth of them making me close my eyes and snuggle into them further.

Maybe because they smelt and felt like Joe.

“Shh, everything is going to be okay.” I heard them whisper in my ear, and I was suddenly captivated.

I felt myself being lowered to the ground slowly, my eyes opening and immediately I looked into Joe's beautiful honey ones.

“I'm gonna get you out of here, but you gotta trust me. Do you trust me?” He whispered, wiping away my tears.

Too flabbergasted to speak, I quickly nodded and smiled knowingly at him.

He took my hand and opened the door, to what was paparazzi paradise. I thought about mentally rolling my eyes, then I realized the worst.

My face was definitely going to be on about ten magazines tomorrow.