Never Say Always

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I looked at the scene before me with a scowl on my face, tears falling from my face the second time in less than twenty four hours, and this time it wasn't for something remotely happy.

Great, I had just walked in on a Jamilla make-out session, oh and would you look at that? Joe's face actually filling with remorse! Of course he lied about the shit he said to me, how stupid could I have been? Too stupid, that's what.

“You know what Joe? The joke's on me this time, and there's me thinking you'd changed; letting you in despite how much I hated you for the previous time that you up and left me for this whore, but your doing it again aren't you?”

That bitch Camilla didn't even bother to look at me, instead she glanced at the floor – completely taken away by my sudden outburst.

“Katy I swear I was going to finish but she wouldn't listen and---”

“No Joe! Damn it, I'm tired of your excuses!” I screamed, trying to regain my breath.

“I meant everything I said to you last night, Katy.” His voice lowered, pushing Camilla from his grasp, walking towards me.

“One more step Jonas, and your baby-maker will feel the pain I'm feeling right now,” I muttered, taking a step back.

“Forever and always Katy, just you remember that. It was fate that night you went to my concert.” He smirked, taking another step towards me.

“Never say always Joe, unless you intend on keeping that promise.” I smirked back, folding my arms across my chest.

“You'll never leave me, Katy. You wouldn't.” His eyes bored into mine, my heart rate quickening.

“I'm leaving you, Joe. And I want you to itch this in your brain-” I started, getting myself prepared for the biggest speech I had ever made in my life.

"And when I'm gone, remember this - I loved you, I once needed you, I once cared about you, more than anything in the world. You can't deny that I was never there for you, you can't deny what we had, You can't deny that we ended over absolutely nothing, that regardless - you still think about us. No other girl could ever love you the way that I did. One day Joe, you'll realize what you did, and you'll come back - and you know something? I'll already be gone."

I took one last look at Joe and Camilla before walking away, making sure to slam the door behind me.

I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't know for how long. I knew I had to get away, I had to clear my head. Joe definitely wasn't changing, and I'm too irrevocably in love with him to notice that.

“You should've said no,
You should've gone home
You should've though twice 'fore you let it all go
You should've know that word
About what you did with her,
Get back to me.

And I should've been there,
In the back of your mind
I shouldn't be askin' myself, why?
You shouldn't be beggin' for forgiveness at my feet.
You should've said no,
Baby and you might still have me.”

*************

Flashback: twenty four hours earlier

Love, love, love. What the heck is it? Well according to Dictionary.com it was either one of these things.

1. To have love or affection for another person; be in love. .
2.A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.Sexual passion or desire.
4.A person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

If I didn't have an eyebrow raised, it was as sure as hell raised by now. Yeah, the idiots that wrote this obviously have never experienced love. They didn't put down how much it hurt, damaged, or tore apart your whole life/world/mental state.

A loud knock shook my thoughts, and without thinking, I left my laptop running and headed for the door.

“Joe? What are you doing here?” I scrunched my face up as he pushed passed me and practically ran into my apartment, his face drenched from the rain.

“I just came... to see if you were okay, I mean – you weren't exactly stable about two hours ago,” he smiled genuinely as I blushed about ten thousand shades.

How embarrassing, he remembers my mental breakdown.

“Uh, well I'm fine? You didn't really need to come over, Joseph. There is a thing called a cell phone?” I waved my phone at him, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

I didn't even bother to answer him as I retreated back to my laptop, still researching the definitions of love.

“Whatcha lookin' at?” Joe's lisp clearly evident as he tried peering over my shoulder to look at the laptop screen.

I quickly shut down the top half of the laptop and faced Joe, folding my arms across my chest.

“If you must know, what 'love' means. And Joe, what are you still doing here? I'm fine, happy as can be. You can go now.” I muttered the last part, looking into his eyes.

His eyes shined like pretty lights. WHOA! Wait, you hate him Katy. Please hate him.

“Are you serious? Love definitions? Don't you already know what love means?” Joe giggled, completely ignoring my last half of my sentence.

“All I got out of love was a broken heart and a humiliating experience. So, no Joe – I don't have any fucking idea what it means.” I snapped, running a hand through my blonde locks.

Joe put his hands up in defence, sighing. “Look Katy, I don't know if you'll ever listen to me but... I'm sorry, I really am.” His face softened, making me – and my heart melt.

Joseph Adam Jonas is officially a prick. Ugh, damn him for having a adorable face.

I diverted my eyes away from Joe, the tears welling up in my eyes again. “It's—It's not okay, but tell me this Joe, why did you choose her?” I whispered, my vulnerability shining through.

I still refused to look into Joe's eyes, but instantly I felt his hand intertwining with my own, clasping it tightly.

“I didn't choose her per-say, Katy. You gave me no choice; remember?” He too whispered back, his voice lowered.

“You should've said no to her, whatever she did to you – whatever kinda spell she had on you; you should of stopped it. You had me, wasn't that enough?” I questioned, my eyes finally looking into Joe's.

“It was more than enough! I don't know why I did it, I really don't. You were everything to me Katy, why won't you believe that?!” His voice got louder, getting closer towards me.

“How can I believe that Joe, when all you did was run off with her!” I whispered, closing my eyes.

Okay, he is waaay too close. I can feel his breath on my cheek, his hand is still linked with mine..

“Joe, let go.” I spoke slowly, my voice probably coming out weaker than I thought.

I pushed him away and took a step back, coming in contact with the wall. I looked up at Joe, his smirk evident as he stepped closer to me again, this time our foreheads almost touching. This is the closest I'd ever been with him since he left, and the proximity was driving me nuts.

“Say you don't love me,” His breath hit my cheek – already I was captivated. “Say it.” He leaned in further, our foreheads touching.

Our of instinct, my hands wrapped around his neck perfectly – the heat of the moment definitely coming between us.

He's just so close, and.. Stop thinking dirty thoughts! Think of something unpure, kitty's! Hair brush! Uhh..

I locked onto his eyes, the same feelings washing around in his pupils the last time I looked at him over two years ago – lust and love.

“Joe?”

“Mmhm?” He mumbled, pressing his body against mine.

“If your gunna kiss me, then do it.” I beamed a smile, and before I knew it – his lips were attacking mine, my head was by now – officially in the clouds.

I almost forgot hot soft his lips felt on mine, how gentle his actions were. But not this time, this kiss was so much more, so needy, so... lustful?

He pulled away, his eyes softened like pools of honey as he whispered to me the most craziest thing he's ever said.

“Let me make love to you, Katy.”

I looked at him, his facial expression not faltering once.

I didn't answer him, instead I placed my lips on his again more hungrily – hoping he'd get the secret message.

************

Present time: Twenty four hours later

“What! You can't just leave, what about that video shoot!” Laura cried, throwing her hands in the air.

“I don't care about the damn photo shoot! I need to get outta here, Laur. He did it again, can you believe that?” I laughed through the tears, shaking my head.

Laura pulled me into a hug, her own tears splurging out. She was the equivelent of a best friend and an assistant – making me have the best of both worlds.

“As your best friend, I'm gunna say you better contact me every damn day,” She started, pulling back from the hug and wiping her tears, harshly. “But as your assistant, do have any idea how much these guys from the label will skin me alive?!” She threw her hands in the air again, a giggle emitting from my lips.

“But I mean it, call me whenever you can.” She laughed too, hailing a cab. “Do you have any idea where your going?”She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“No, but all I know is that L.A isn't the best place for me right now,” I sighed, walking up to the hailed cab.

I opened the cab door my heart aching. “Come with me?” I looked back at her, her face dropped.

“Are you serious?” She screamed, “Like, for real?”

“Does it look like my face is joking?” I put a hand on my hips, sarcasm dripping my voice.

“Will you tell me everything? No details left out?”

“I wouldn't have it any way.” I smiled, getting in the cab and scooting over.

She got in quickly, a grin so wide across her face. “Airport please, and make it fast.” Laura nodded at the cab driver in the rear-view mirror.

She turned to me, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Well?”

“Okay, It all started last night when...”