Never Say Always

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“Wait so, let me get this straight. You did the nasty with Joe Jonas? The Joe Jonas, virgin for the past twenty years!?” Laura whispered harshly, her eyes wide.

“Will you shut up? The rest of the flight crew didn't quite get that!” I snapped, her face immediately apologetic.

“Sorry, but damn! Where can I get some Jonas meat? Will you hook me up with Kevin?” Her brown eyes glistened at the mention of Kevin, and I laughed.

“Me and the Jonas clan aren't really on speaking terms right now, Laur.” I sighed, playing with my hands.

“Look, I'm sure he has an explanation, I mean – what if he said was right? She didn't wanna believe that he was blowing her off for some extremely beautiful, talented singer – she probably couldn't take it.” She beamed, nudging me in the side softly.

I giggled again, a genuine smile escaping my lips.

Maybe this is what I needed after all, a break from everything.

“Passengers are reminded to keep seatbelts on whilst landing; we shall be landing shortly, so welcome to Florida – we hope you enjoy your stay here.” The intercom announced, and I quickly adjusted my seatbelt tighter.

“You know, if you tighten that belt anymore your intestines will fly out,” Laura spoke nonchalantly, her eyes fixated on my Iphone.

“I know what you're thinking and no, I'm not turning it on.” I sighed as the plane started slowing down, indicating that we'd landed.

“But why not? No harm telling Joe your safe, I mean you did just walk out that place like you were on a mad rampage or something...”

“If he wants me, he can come find me.” I replied smugly; undoing my seatbelt and standing up.

*************

“Home sweet home... well at least for a week, anyway.” Laura sighed happily, in total heaven.

I looked around our hotel room and was completely blown away. The Egyptian towels hung delicately over the racks, the beautiful, white bed linen making the queen size bed more appealing right now.

“You know the rules, unpacking tradition – give me your Iphone.” Laura held her hand out for a second, and I rolled my eyes – smacking the Iphone in her hands.

“'Cause Jersey just got colder and
I'll have you know I'm scared to death
That everything that you had said to me
Was just a lie until you left--”

I didn't know weather my phone wanted to die with the amount of times that tune started all over again. Laura gave me a questioning look and looked down at my Iphone, gulping.

“I think you may want to actually reply to him, he's worried about you And your song choice is quite amazing, Katy. Fits Joe down to the core.” She smiled, pushing my Iphone into the dock and pressing play, letting the song start again.

“Now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, I swear
I'm just gone beyond repair

Let's write a song that we can dance to
'Cause they all wanna listen
Just to know how it sounds when
I do that thing you know that I do
When I find inspiration
Well, this is me breaking down when...

'Cause Jersey just got colder and
I'll have you know I'm scared to death
That everything that you had said to me
Was just a lie until you left
Now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, I swear
I'm just gone beyond repair

And let's write a song that we can sing to
And you can lead the choir
And put the hook where it hurts the most
And you threw a spark that lit the candle
That set us all on fire
And sent a flame down the East Coast

'Cause Jersey just got colder and
I'll have you know I'm scared to death
That everything that you had said to me
Was just a lie until you left
Now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, I swear
I'm just gone beyond repair

And I should have been your everything
And now at the end of my eternity
And I will sleep to have the darkest dreams
As this just won't seem right to me
I close my eyes and beg for peace

'Cause Jersey just got colder and...
'Cause Jersey just got colder and...
And Jersey just got colder and...

And Jersey just got colder and
I'll have you know I'm scared to death
That everything that you had said to me
Was just a lie until you left
Now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, I swear
I'm just gone beyond repair”

“So tell me, was he good?” I almost fell to the floor as Laura's grin couldn't contain itself.

I stared at her in disbelief and ignored her question, unpacking some more.

“Well? I know you don't kiss and tell, but why not this once? Please?” She pleaded, and already I could feel my cheeks turning like a tomato.

“It was... Incredible, everything I ever dreamed of – it was much more special than I had thought, you know?” I looked at her, hoping she'd understand.

“Oh, you mean – you thought it would just be angry make up sex? I've only met Joe twice, but I doubt he's that kinda guy; if you catch my drift.” She winked, grabbing a bikini and towel, throwing it at me.

“We're gunna hit the beach, big style – and you know what? Your gunna text Joe, and tell him it's over – or you'll just be going round in circles, Katy.” Laura started collecting our essentials for our day at the beach.

I wish she would quit hassling me.

“Look, can we not do this now? What's important to me right now is my tan.” I snapped, walking into the bathroom to get changed.

*************

I was sick of the way she kept looking at me, seriously. Every time I'd get my phone out; she'd look at me with them sickly puppy dog eyes and practically beg me without forcing her mouth open, to make a decision about Joe.

“I Didn't invite you on a vacation with me just to annoy me, ya know.” I sat up, my elbows supporting me.

“I wouldn't be annoying you if you knew that I was already right.” She smirked, letting the sunglasses fall over her dark eyes.

I lied back down in defeat and began playing with my phone, my mind picking at the excuses.

Just text him, tell him what you think of him!

And say what? Say that you hate his guts? Tell him that you never want to see him again?

That's not going to solve anything, it'll give you more problems.

But more songs to write out, because of that jackass.

“Oh great,” Laura muttered, pushing her glasses down to the bottom of her nose, and back up towards her eyes again. “Paparazzi. Just play it off, go play in the water or something, I'm gunna get an ice-cream.” She got up quickly, leaving me to be completely pissed off with the media.

So I did exactly as she said, I got in the sea, swimming around pointlessly; and yet again I thought about my possibilities with Joe. I couldn't forgive him this time, not now.

As much as I loved Joe, as much as I cared for him – I don't think my heart would ever allow myself back with him; unless he completely proved me wrong. But what's the chances of that now? He obviously didn't even want me, he just thought of me as a game. Yeah, that's it. A stupid, dumb game.

He tore away all my walls, made me completely vulnerable, made me do something I never wish I had done. I depended on him, I relied on him to not hurt me, break my heart – toy with me; and he did exactly that.

Forgetting to apply sunscreen, I swam back to the beach and laid down on my towel carefully, letting the sun soak in the water falling from my body.

“Have you made a decision yet?” I heard Laura's voice whisper.

I shook my head. “I don't know what to do, I really don't.” I sighed, turning over and lying on my stomach.

“Only time will tell, Katy. But please just do one thing for me.”

“What?”

“Listen to your heart. Don't let anybody tell you what you're feeling – because only your heart knows.”