Give me One Shot, Give me One Hope, Give Me One Chance.

Standing from the bench, she finally had the courage to walk over and give him the rose. She flinched as snow hit her warm cheeks. Bouquets were littering the ground, hundreds, hundred of poppies, pansies, carnations, but none of his favorite flower.

Looking down, she felt tears to, yet again, sting her eyes. the ground was unnerved. He had not been here long. She had broken the promise, she had broken it, after so many years, she had left him.

The calls, the letters, the text messages, she had ignored them all, shutting him out of her life, hoping to heal. Hoping to move on, hoping he would forget her and move on. She knew, he wouldn’t, what he had felt was true.

She had never bothered to answer any of them, listening to what he had to say. If she had known. If only she had known and had the courage then and not now to face him, maybe he would be alive, maybe she wouldn’t have wasted ten years of her life running.

He had been asking for her help.

Walking over to the stone, crouching down, tears, no longer brimming, but falling from her eyes, soaking the ground. She no longer had the will power to hold them back.

Memories of them, she couldn’t believe, now of all times, she finally saw what she had done to him. She broke her best friend, she had killed him, killed him ever so slowly. He had given up the hope to live, knowing she would not come back as long as he was alive.

They had promised each other as young children, they would die together, knowing each other since they were only babies, being only a day apart, he being older, they had promised, grown together, knew everything about each other. She had not spoken her thoughts, but he knew, he knew she would never come back as long as he was alive.

Moving from city to country, she had hidden from him, made sure he could never find her. Being naive, she knew, he had found her, knowing now what she had not known then, what she had now, he had found her, every time she had fled. He had chosen to leave her be, lead her life as it had been lead. He had watched from a distance, saw her laugh, saw her cry, he had watched her heart get broken time after time, he knew, she would never come back.

Falling from her crouching position, she dropped the rose, now stained with her tears, the satin petals losing some shape.

Speaking low, where only he could hear, she begged.

“Forgive me, please, you knew, you knew I would never return if you were alive, why did you have to die, please, I realize now. I realize after ten years, that you had not moved on like you had made out to be to the public. I beg you, from your grave, Ville, please, forgive this lost soul, I realize now. I love you, I’m in love with you and I always will...” her voice had trailed off, she had nothing more to say, she wished it was all just a joke.

Closing her eyes, snow falling on her hair and eye lashes, freezing the tears on her face. She began to remember.

Standing in her mother’s garden Ville standing next to her, looking more effeminate than her, his hair longer than hers, both had a scarf wrapped around their necks. The sun had been shining for a few days now. It was a warm welcome from the snowy black.

“Ville, I can’t reach it, could you please get it for me.”

He smiled and reached up, clipping the rose from the tops of the bush bringing his hand down handing her the fully bloomed rose, large hands enveloping the stem.

She looked up at him, her brown eyes meeting his pools of green ice.

“Aria,” he whispered. “I need to tell you something, something I should have so long ago.”

“What is it Ville?” she asked tracing the petals with her small fingers. Being only nineteen at the time she was frail and small especially compared to Ville, being almost a foot taller than she.

“I love you.” he said, his voice coming out in a whisper.

“Ville, we’ve told each other this since children.” she smiled.

“No, Aria, you don’t understand. I’m in love with you.”

Her face had paled, she dropped the rose, looking up to meet his eyes.

“Ville...” she trailed.

“Aria, please-”

“You can’t! Ville, you can’t possibly love me.” she whispered and ran back to her home just yards away. Leaving her best friend behind, broken and afraid. Never to give his heart to another soul.

She had left him, looking at the rose on the ground, the sun slowly fading from view as clouds covered the sky.

She had left him a month later, having not spent more than ten minutes on the phone to him, compared to the hours they had once spent.

“Please, don’t leave me.” he had begged tears poring out of his eyes, he pushed the rose foreword, a black ribbon had been tied around the stem. Being the only thing he had been saying to her over the last month, he still didn’t try to take it back, allowing her to wish to leave more.

“No, Ville, you know I have to.” she said pushing it away, not ceasing to break his heart more.

“But why!” He all but screamed.

“You told me three words, three words I’m more scared of than anything else. You told me ‘I love you.’ Ville, you know I’m afraid of those words.”

“Promise me, Aria, promise me now! You’ll one day, come back.” pushing the rose foreword again.

Looking up to meet his eyes. Seeing how much he was hurting, seeing how much her leaving was hurting him. She lied.

“I promise, I’ll come home soon.”

They embraced one more time. Boarding the plane, fondling the rose. Slowly they began to lose shape as the plane ascended to the sky, tears began to fall, hitting the rose’s velvet petals. She had left her best friend behind after an almost twenty year old promise. Never to leave each other behind permanently.

Ten years later, she’s receiving a call from Mikko, begging her to call him, begging her, she refused, she never wanted to call. Being the coward that she was, she moved again, weeks later, changing her number, hoping they would never find her again.

“Forgive me,” she begged once more, knowing her praises were useless, until she heard the crunching of snow behind her.

She turned quickly to see four men in black standing close together.

“Aria,” she knew it to be Mikko’s voice. His dreads had grown since she had last seen him.

She looked up, hear eyes giving it all. The men standing next to him all dropped their hoods, they were Ville’s best friends. She knew, the way they were looking at her, it was her fault.

Ville had known, long before she did, she wasn’t coming back with him alive. It was her fault he was dead, he had taken his life just so she would fulfill her promise to him.

“Don’t blame yourself,” Linde mumbled crouching down next to her, dropping his own rose next to hers. “He wanted me to give you this.”

She looked and saw him holding a letter with black borders.

“If you need me Aria, please don’t hesitate to call him like Ville did. I beg you, don’t leave me like Ville did.” He embraced her into a hug briefly before letting her fall.

The four men turned from her and left her in the snow. Cold, alone, finally alone. She looked at his fresh grave, she couldn’t not blame herself.

Turning the envelope over, she saw his messy scribble, the messy scribble she had missed, across the front with her name.

She opened it and a piece of paper fell out.

“Dear Aria,

If you’re reading this, then I’m not long gone, I’ve died and you have returned home, fulfilling your promise.

Thank you.

I may be gone and not there to see it, but you kept your promise to me as well as yourself, you would not return unless I was dead.

Long ago, I wrote this song for you, it was shortly after you had stopped answering my phone calls, it was long before I knew you weren’t coming home. Aria, I did this so you could stop pretending you were home and you could be happy.

Aria, I’ve watched you from a distance, not stalker senses, I’ve seen your heart break, I’ve seen you come to realize, you love me back, but you were too late to come back. Aria, you must know this was not your fault, if I know you at all, I hope I do, you’re crying, Linde has just give you a hug and he’s long gone, and you’re crying asking yourself how can I not move on? Aria, I forgive you. I wish you could forgive yourself. We were not meant to be together, obviously.

We’ll see each other again, I promise you that, just remember, every rose that blooms, I’m giving you from my grave, Aria, I still love you after all these years, you’ve figured out I have not moved on, every rose since you have left Finland has been for you. Every rose bud is yours to call yours alone. You can share this gift with any one you may chose or you may not. But just know I’ll always be there.

Linde has offered you to call him, do it. Call him and be his friend again. This is my finale request and I hope you’ll carry it out. Aria, take care and don’t fall like I did, for the person in the black cloak and allow him to take your life. Allow him to kiss your lips and steal your soul. I beg you, live your life and I’ll be waiting on the other side.

Yours Forever in Love.

Ville Hermanni Valo.”

More tears falling from her eyes, she pulled the second piece of paper from the envelope spying a ring she retrieved it and saw on the inside, an inscription.

Wishing You Were Here Again.

It was her size, and her finale trinket of Ville she had to hold. She bean to read the song more snow falling and hitting the paper, hoping it wouldn’t smudge, she shielded it from the snow with her black cloak.

“You were once
my one companion . . .
you were all
that mattered . . .
You were once
a friend and lover-
then my world
was shattered . . .

Wishing you were
somehow here again . . .
wishing you were
somehow near . . .
Sometimes it seemed
if I just dreamed,
somehow you would
be here . . .

Wishing I could
hear your voice again . . .
knowing that I
never would . . .
Dreaming of you
won't help me to do
all that you dreamed
I could . . .

Passing bells
and sculpted angels,
cold and monumental,
seem, for you,
the wrong companions -
you were warm and gentle . . .

Too many years
fighting back tears . . .
Why can't the past
just die . . .

Wishing you were
somehow here again . . .
knowing we must
say goodbye . . .
Try to forgive . . .
teach me to live . . .
give me the strength
to try . . .

No more memories,
no more silent tears . . .
No more gazing across
the wasted years . . .
Help me say
goodbye.”

“I love you Ville,” she whispered against the wind. “I’m here now.”

Hearing her name in the wind, she turned and saw a figure standing far off in the distance.

It looked up and she saw green eyes she had not seen since she was nineteen.

“Ville-” she called.

All she saw was him smile, and words met her ears she closed her eyes.

“I love you too,” feeling lips press against her cheek, she opened them to see his pale face in front of her.

“Please let me hear you say you forgive me.” Her voice shook, she clutched the letters close and the ring had been on her finger, over her ring finger, she belonged to him, no one else.

“You’re forgiven, I’m at peace now, I’ll see you on the other side.” Pressing his lips against her cheek once more, he vanished.

Standing and walking to the cemetery gates she saw Linde waiting. She could barely see him, but she knew. They embraced in a hug, her not being able to let the letter go.

“I promised him something as well,” he whispered.

She looked up, her tear stained face had been cold so long the tears were frozen on her neck and cheek.

“I promised to take care of you.”

Hugging her again, she looked over his shoulder and saw Ville standing in the distance, his hair blowing across his face, you could barely tell it was him, he had on long jeans bell bottomed at the bottom, a Black Sabbath shirt green scarf and trench coat. It was utterly Ville, he smiled waving her off and disappeared with the snow.

“Linde, is it wrong for me to wish him to be here with me again?”

“Never.” he whispered and set her in the passenger seat.

Looking out into the snow, she wished, and wished, begging him to appear again. Now, she finally knew, he had forgiven her before she knew, before he knew, she finally knew, how it felt to Wish You Were Somehow Here Again.