Status: The story is not supposed to end here. I wrote this five years ago and I am now 17; quite unmotivated to pick up writing it again, but we will see. hold on!
Hearts Recycled But Never Saved
Do you dream too much?
"Jimmy! Hey, Jimmy, stop!"
The shout didn't sound real to me, it just seemed like a part of my daze, nothing important. I slowly looked up from the ground and the old beer can that I had been kicking in front of me during my restless walk.
And if this already was a dream; he was reality.
The smile and the scar on the cheek were still exactly the same.
"Tunny!" I heard myself pant with surprise. As I was completely jaded, he ran up to me. I gave him a half-hearted hug.
"You're quite drunk, aren't you", said Tunny and grinned. One of his front teeth were chipped.
"You look terrible", I said indifferently and felt a sting of guilt well over me.
"Really? Thank you very much."
I smiled skewly and carefully; I hadn't smiled for a long time.
"I'm sorry for the party incident."
"It was hell of a party."
Tunny's laughter died into a long silence.
"Looks like you're just roaming around", he eventually said. It was not a question, it was a statement, and he was right. "We're all looking for you, you know."
"I don't know if I should come, Tunny-"
"There's no reason to not to, is there? Come on, Jimmy. Please?" Tunny began dragging me the direction he came from. "You taught us how to live. The disciples are nothing without Jesus."
I ceased all on-going movements, and stared into his sky blue eyes.
"I'm not Jesus."
"But that's what we always were told to call you. Are you losing self confidence or something? It was that girl! I knew it!"
Tunny took a big sip from the beer can he was carrying.
"Where is she, anyway?" he asked; his face occupying a strange look of disgust.
My legs swinged underneath me, and I suddenly got the feeling of my brain being stirred. There was the rage, the anger and the sorrow; always so familiar.
In a second, Tunny's blood was rinning down my hand, but I couldn't stop now.
"WE'RE FUCKED UP, TUNNY, WE'RE FUCKED UP!"
"YOU'RE FUCKING DEMENTED!"
"WE'RE NOT THE SAME, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!"
His strong and stinging fists hitting my face only made my wish of hurting him stronger. I punched back, time after time, until I noticed that Tunny wasn't yelling anymore. His eyes were closed, and his body wasn't snatching with cramp any longer.
I panted, out of breath, and backed up.
"Tunny? Tunny?" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "What have I done... Tunny?"
Everything I touch turns to blood.
My only way out was to flee, and so I did.
The shout didn't sound real to me, it just seemed like a part of my daze, nothing important. I slowly looked up from the ground and the old beer can that I had been kicking in front of me during my restless walk.
And if this already was a dream; he was reality.
The smile and the scar on the cheek were still exactly the same.
"Tunny!" I heard myself pant with surprise. As I was completely jaded, he ran up to me. I gave him a half-hearted hug.
"You're quite drunk, aren't you", said Tunny and grinned. One of his front teeth were chipped.
"You look terrible", I said indifferently and felt a sting of guilt well over me.
"Really? Thank you very much."
I smiled skewly and carefully; I hadn't smiled for a long time.
"I'm sorry for the party incident."
"It was hell of a party."
Tunny's laughter died into a long silence.
"Looks like you're just roaming around", he eventually said. It was not a question, it was a statement, and he was right. "We're all looking for you, you know."
"I don't know if I should come, Tunny-"
"There's no reason to not to, is there? Come on, Jimmy. Please?" Tunny began dragging me the direction he came from. "You taught us how to live. The disciples are nothing without Jesus."
I ceased all on-going movements, and stared into his sky blue eyes.
"I'm not Jesus."
"But that's what we always were told to call you. Are you losing self confidence or something? It was that girl! I knew it!"
Tunny took a big sip from the beer can he was carrying.
"Where is she, anyway?" he asked; his face occupying a strange look of disgust.
My legs swinged underneath me, and I suddenly got the feeling of my brain being stirred. There was the rage, the anger and the sorrow; always so familiar.
In a second, Tunny's blood was rinning down my hand, but I couldn't stop now.
"WE'RE FUCKED UP, TUNNY, WE'RE FUCKED UP!"
"YOU'RE FUCKING DEMENTED!"
"WE'RE NOT THE SAME, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!"
His strong and stinging fists hitting my face only made my wish of hurting him stronger. I punched back, time after time, until I noticed that Tunny wasn't yelling anymore. His eyes were closed, and his body wasn't snatching with cramp any longer.
I panted, out of breath, and backed up.
"Tunny? Tunny?" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "What have I done... Tunny?"
Everything I touch turns to blood.
My only way out was to flee, and so I did.