Status: The story is not supposed to end here. I wrote this five years ago and I am now 17; quite unmotivated to pick up writing it again, but we will see. hold on!
Hearts Recycled But Never Saved
Please call me only if you are coming home.
"Are you ready?"
I looked up and saw another brand new face; a female police with black hair and a skin tone that had the precise color of ginger bread. She was still holding the door handle, looking afraid that I would try to run for freedom.
"Yeah. I think I sorted it out."
"Good", she said and nodded. "Very good. Leave them there, and follow me to a meeting!"
I raised my eyebrows.
"Woah, I think I've met enough cops for a lifetime!" I shouted and waved my hands in a protesting way.
A wide smile spread on her cheeks, as she simultaneously blushed slightly.
"It's a special kind of meeting. She says she's been calling all around the globe for you."
For a moment, I thought I died. My heart suddenly felt like ceasing its beat, whereupon my pulse started thundering in my ears.
"Sh... she? Who?" My mouth went dry, and I started swallowing hysterically.
"I don't know, do I? You can check it out though."
A sting of joy, confusion and anger blazed up inside of me, as I threw myself out of the chair and rushed towards the doorway. I pushed her aside, though not meaning to harm, and made my way through the corridor.
"It's the payphone to the right--" I heard the police woman shout behind me, and I followed her instructions. In the fraction of a second, I had grabbed the receiver and put it to my ear. But not spoken.
What was there to say?
I heard her breaths in my ear, so close yet so far. Like all the nights we spent together; her head resting on my chests, and her breaths in my ear. I could imagine the intense green eyes of hers sparkling, somewhere on the other end. She was there, she had thought of me, she was breathing, she was alive!
"Are you there?" I whispered.
And there it was; the voice that seemed sparkling and angelic to me. As if from a better place.
"Yes. Yes, Jimmy, it's me!"
"I can't believe it!" I laughed out loud. "Whatsername!"
There wasn't a big laugh of the same kind from her; she only uttered a small, nervous giggle. It faded out to silence, and there was her deep breaths again. So close, yet so far.
"Wh... where are you?" I mumbled, yearning for her.
"I... Look, Jimmy. I just called to-"
"But where are you?" I sounded more annoyed this time.
"Just listen, I-"
"WHERE ARE YOU!" I screamed out in despair. She was already slipping away from me. She was a treasure that I'd never earn.
"What the fuck's your problem? All I'm trying to do is-"
"WHERE ARE YOU? WHATSERNAME, WHERE ARE YOU?" I began kicking the brick wall, whilst screaming. How dared she, call me up without interest to come back? She was all I'd been living for the past few months. She had been my only hope, didn't she understand what she was doing to me?
She began screaming back at me; each word sharp as a dagger. I expected to die. My hope left me.
"PLEASE CALL ME ONLY IF YOU ARE COMING HOME!" I roared as a very last attempt, and her screaming ceased.
There was the breaths.
Those breaths that said so much to me.
Moving mechanically, I dropped the receiver. And I knew that this would be the last mistake of my life. I couldn't take another disappointment with myself.
I slowly pulled my leather jacket on again, and sheepishly rubbed my cheeks as if it would squeeze some kind of sense into me, or increase some kind of confidence.
The female police stood only feet from me, with a horrified expression on her face. Her lips moved without making a sound; she didn't know what to say.
"Wh... who was it?" she eventually asked.
I was still slapping my cheeks.
"I don't know. I don't... I... I don't know her anymore."
I looked up and saw another brand new face; a female police with black hair and a skin tone that had the precise color of ginger bread. She was still holding the door handle, looking afraid that I would try to run for freedom.
"Yeah. I think I sorted it out."
"Good", she said and nodded. "Very good. Leave them there, and follow me to a meeting!"
I raised my eyebrows.
"Woah, I think I've met enough cops for a lifetime!" I shouted and waved my hands in a protesting way.
A wide smile spread on her cheeks, as she simultaneously blushed slightly.
"It's a special kind of meeting. She says she's been calling all around the globe for you."
For a moment, I thought I died. My heart suddenly felt like ceasing its beat, whereupon my pulse started thundering in my ears.
"Sh... she? Who?" My mouth went dry, and I started swallowing hysterically.
"I don't know, do I? You can check it out though."
A sting of joy, confusion and anger blazed up inside of me, as I threw myself out of the chair and rushed towards the doorway. I pushed her aside, though not meaning to harm, and made my way through the corridor.
"It's the payphone to the right--" I heard the police woman shout behind me, and I followed her instructions. In the fraction of a second, I had grabbed the receiver and put it to my ear. But not spoken.
What was there to say?
I heard her breaths in my ear, so close yet so far. Like all the nights we spent together; her head resting on my chests, and her breaths in my ear. I could imagine the intense green eyes of hers sparkling, somewhere on the other end. She was there, she had thought of me, she was breathing, she was alive!
"Are you there?" I whispered.
And there it was; the voice that seemed sparkling and angelic to me. As if from a better place.
"Yes. Yes, Jimmy, it's me!"
"I can't believe it!" I laughed out loud. "Whatsername!"
There wasn't a big laugh of the same kind from her; she only uttered a small, nervous giggle. It faded out to silence, and there was her deep breaths again. So close, yet so far.
"Wh... where are you?" I mumbled, yearning for her.
"I... Look, Jimmy. I just called to-"
"But where are you?" I sounded more annoyed this time.
"Just listen, I-"
"WHERE ARE YOU!" I screamed out in despair. She was already slipping away from me. She was a treasure that I'd never earn.
"What the fuck's your problem? All I'm trying to do is-"
"WHERE ARE YOU? WHATSERNAME, WHERE ARE YOU?" I began kicking the brick wall, whilst screaming. How dared she, call me up without interest to come back? She was all I'd been living for the past few months. She had been my only hope, didn't she understand what she was doing to me?
She began screaming back at me; each word sharp as a dagger. I expected to die. My hope left me.
"PLEASE CALL ME ONLY IF YOU ARE COMING HOME!" I roared as a very last attempt, and her screaming ceased.
There was the breaths.
Those breaths that said so much to me.
Moving mechanically, I dropped the receiver. And I knew that this would be the last mistake of my life. I couldn't take another disappointment with myself.
I slowly pulled my leather jacket on again, and sheepishly rubbed my cheeks as if it would squeeze some kind of sense into me, or increase some kind of confidence.
The female police stood only feet from me, with a horrified expression on her face. Her lips moved without making a sound; she didn't know what to say.
"Wh... who was it?" she eventually asked.
I was still slapping my cheeks.
"I don't know. I don't... I... I don't know her anymore."