Hearts Recycled But Never Saved

The next morning, I woke up early. Earlier than ever. The sun had already heated me. Wait. Sun, inside the tunnel?
I opened my eyes and blinked twice in confusion. I wasn't in the tunnel. What was this place?
I dragged my sleepy body off of the ground.

"Jimmy?" I mumbled and rubbed my eyes.

Suddenly, it got freezing cold. A chill wind wrapped over me, and tightened. It felt like being inside a hurricane, all surrounded. I panted.
And then, two guys stood infront of me. They were perfect strangers.

Somehow, I knew I was dreaming. I tried to wake up, but it was impossible.

"Stop glaring", one of them said irritatedly. "We have something important to tell you."

"Oh, shut up, Rage", the other one moaned, then turned to me. "So, listen up. Jimmy. Stay away from him." He stressed every word in the last sentence.

I raised an eyebrow, and opened my mouth to say something, but the words just didn't come out as expected. I began a hysterical coughing.

"You're always so matter-of-fact-ish, Love", Rage complained.

"Come on, he's--" Love began and took a step closer to me, but he got cut off by Rage.

"Listen, Whatsername!" he hissed. He sat down on his heels, close to me. "This is the dawning of your life."

I stared up into his face until the feeling of blowing away returned, and swept all three of us to different directions. I tried to scream, but no air got into my lungs. My head was just a dizzy mess. Everything blinked in different colors, and...

"Whatsername! Wake up!" a horrified voice screamed. "Hey! Wake up!"

I gasped for air and woke up sitting.
Jimmy sat on his heels infront of me, in the tunnel, just where I had fallen asleep the night before.

"Easy, easy now, just a nightmare..." Jimmy's voice was reassuring, and he beamed at me. "You okay?" He took my hand and looked into my eyes with a worried glance.

"Yeah, I guess", I replied and felt my pulse even out again. "Jeeze..."

"Just take a deep breath", Jimmy calmed me down. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Sure you're okay?"

"Thanks Jimmy, I am."

He smiled and nodded as leaning backwards to the wall again, and I smiled back as gladly as I could look after such a weird dream.

"Soo", I began after about three silent minutes. How should I put words to what had just begun growing inside of me? "Uh, I'd really like to know you better."

The silence got even more awkward. Jimmy looked shyly at me, with the fringe hanging into his eyes.

"Carry on together, to say", I mumbled.

"You mean, become friends?" Jimmy grinned. "Sure, I'll be your friend. If you'll be mine."

"Deal", I laughed and high-fived him. "We better get moving, I'm starving."

"I'll do it", I whispered to Jimmy.

"Sure you'll make it? That watchman looks scary", he replied teasingly and poked my arm.

"I can do it! I'd beat him up. Really, hell, I'm used to it."

Jimmy and I stood behind a bush on the cafeteria balcony and looked down at the first floor of the shopping mall.

"Go on then." He puffed jokingly on me.

I grinned, feeling a sense excitement and something spinning inside my stomach.

"See ya."

I stepped onto the escalator, trying to look busy or just random. But I knew I wasn't one in the crowd, I couldn't be. My background, all since the cradle, had given me problems, such as paranoia and phobia of large groups of strangers. I could probably just as well carried a large sign saying "I'm afraid!"
I pretended to randomly catch a glimpse of the grocery store, and walked closer. The watchman leered at me.
With a faked "I'm not aware of the watchman" image, I walked into the store, and quickly moved along to the candy and sweets.

I was really hungry, but I couldn't shove bread or anything bigger into my pockets or inside my jacket.
Rapidly, I snapped two chocolate bars and put them in my pocket. Great, seemingly I wasn't revealed. Yet.

I went over to the coke crate, and put a bottle inside my jacket. Then I carefully sneaked out again, trying to seem random.
I swallowed. The watchman was walking my direction. Shit, I thought and picked up the pace.

"Hey you, Shoplifter!"

I started to run. Or, rather rush.
Everyone turned their heads and watched the guard chasing me. I both felt playful, and miserable.

"Somebody stop her!" I heard him bellow.

I sneered as running downstairs. The flight lasted for a few minutes, but eventually, he got me, and I could really imagine the sign saying "FAILED!" in red and yellow, as if I was a character in a video game.

If the reason was only that simple! I had thought so many times before. Like when people build up a faked belief in God, to feel protected and not so small in this world. I had, since the cradle, pretended that I was the superhero in a game. When I had managed it, maybe I would be free from it all. Maybe I would even get praised for the rest of my life.

The watchman grabbed my sleeve and pulled as hard as possible, until I tripped over.

"Ouch!" I yelled as my body hit the floor. I felt a tough pain spread in my ribcage. "Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Get on feet", the watchman growled. "Come on." He harshly dragged me up.

"Hey! Don't touch her!"

We both turned around, and saw Jimmy running up to my rescue, gesticulating wildly.

"Stay away, kid!" The watchman pushed me aside, so that Jimmy couldn't reach me, and I groaned. He wasn't of the sensitivest kind.

"I know her!" Jimmy assured, and nodded certifying.

The watchman opened his eyes wide, with a glance of disbelief, and raised his eyebrows.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

The corner of Jimmy's mouth moved a little, a beginning of a smile.

"Oh yeah, she is", he stated and took a step closer as the watchman backed up.
I glared at Jimmy, and he beamed.

"Am I?" I mimed, and Jimmy just blinked.

"Doesn't matter, she's under arrest." The watchman grinned, and pulled my arms backwards even more. "We're going to the policestation, you better follow me, kids."