Hearts Recycled But Never Saved

"Have you been here before?" the cop asked, who was way nicer than the watchman. His face had a friendly expression, and he gesticulated with his hands a lot whilst talking.

"Uh yeah..." I mumbled, and looked down at the floor. Jimmy sat in the chair beside me, and grabbed my hand. "Plenty of times", I added.

"Alright. We'll check your previous crimes and make an inquiry into it. Maybe you will have to receive slighter or harder punishments, or some kind of care. What's your name, to start with?"

The space between us froze. Oh no. Crap. The question I hated most of all in this world.
Jimmy just looked at me with a glance saying "everything will be okay, just tell him."

"I... I really have... none." I swallowed nervously.

The old police man raised his eyebrows.
"Are you sure there is no name?" He said kindly, trying to get me talking. He leaned forward over his desk. I didn't reply, so he turned to Jimmy. "You're her boyfriend?"
Jimmy nodded fervently.

"Then you ought to know. What's her name?"

"Well..." Jimmy began. "You just said it yourself."

"Can you please specify?" mr. Miller, according to the patch on his shirt, sighed. He seemed to think we were playing jokes on him.

"Her name's Whatsername."

I bit my lip, and faced mr. Miller unwillingly. He sat down behind his desk with a perplexed expression.

"Don't you have a name, a real name that your mom and dad gave you?"

I felt treated like a small kid, and caught in a cage. I knew that I was an idiot, this man was one of the nicest adults I had met the last months, and he didn't deserve problem. But I just hadn't got a name. Sometimes, the truth is stranger than the myths.

"No, I took my own name. Whatsername. You can write that in your goddamned journal. W-h-a-t-s-e-r-n-a-m-e", I muttred doggedly.

"Fine. Great. Excellent. Last name?" Miller continued like I hadn't gone upset at all. He started to seriously piss me off, and the faith his kind expression had made me build up immediately vanished. Maybe he was just another moron after all.

"I HAVE NO LAST NAME!" I shrieked, and violently raised from the chair, that fell to the floor. "Do you wanna hear? Do you wanna know about me? Nobody else knows, not even Jimmy, and you know what you do now? You're making me do something I never would do! I'm fucking telling you my lifestory!" I smashed his desk with my clenched fist. All the papers and journals fell to the floor.

"Whatsername--" Jimmy tried, and carefully put his hand on my back, but I shook him off of me.

"No! He has already got me started, so I won't stop now!" I yelled, and threw down Miller's stuff on the floor. "My mother, was a prostitute. My father, was an arse. He", I got quiet to take a deep breath. "... had some booze. She, had nothing. I'm a mixture of an arse, a prostitute, booze and nothing - a worthless circumstance! Shut up now, will you?"

I fell back down on my chair again. I started a hysterical sobbing.

"Honey..." Jimmy whispered and pulled me closer. If I had been aware of what really happened, I would have reacted on being called "honey". But now, I had turned everything off. I heard the others, I saw the others, but it didn't reach me, I didn't move. I acted like I was dead.

"You two will spend the night here, and then perhaps we can squeeze some sense out of her tomorrow", I heard Miller say to Jimmy, like far away, picking up his stuff from the floor.

And we did. We spent all night in a boring, narrow cell. I didn't utter a word, and Jimmy was all quiet too. In some way, I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't express it. I had to think about it. I was up all damn night long, only thinking.

"Whatsername", Jimmy whispered in the middle of the night. My body snatched itself.

"Jimmy! I thought you were asleep!" I hissed.

"I thought the same about you", he grinned.

I climbed down the ladder from the bunk bed. Jimmy sat on his bed, looking really tired.

"I'm sorry", I mumbled and settled down beside him. He seemed confused.

"I better apologize, I shouldn't have let him get you telling... you know."

Now it was my turn to glare at him.
"What? You wouldn't be here in this fucking jail if it wasn't for me!"

"Whatsername, honey--"

I held up my hand to silent him.
"What did you call me?" I wondered, and lowered my hand again.

"Sorry!" Jimmy immediately yelled and tried to back up.

"No, it's fine, it's just... you were first."

Jimmy moved closer to me. So close...
"First?"

"You were... the first to... call me sweet things... and..." I blushed, and Jimmy grabbed my hand.

"And?" he smiled.

I swallowed.
"And first to sit that close to me."

Jimmy smiled skewly. He pulled my hand that he held closer to him, and I fell into his arms. A tear ran down my cheek. The emotions were erupting from me again.

"I'm so sorry for everything", he mumbled as stroking my hair. "One day, we might laugh at this. One day, this is all over."

I bit my lip.
Never let this end, Jimmy. Please, I thought, as his fingers started twisting my hair.

"Get up, kids! Get up now!"

I heard keys rattle in a locker and someone scream at us. Sleepy, I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

Jimmy was laying beside me.

It sort of scared me, and I quickly got out of the bed.

"Good morning", said mr. Miller, who stood in the doorway. "Let's get it done now, you don't wanna miss the beautiful weather outside", he tried to entice me.

"Morning", Jimmy groaned from the bed.

"I'll see you in three minutes." Miller closed the door and vanished.

Jimmy had another big yawn and groaned again.
"I hate Mondays", he joked, and we burst into a concentrated laughter.
There was just no time for jokes.

Miller came back and fetched us. I was surprised he still was as kind to me as he had been the previous day, before my little eruption.
He lead us into the same room as we had been in the day before. Jimmy and I sat down in front of the desk, and mr. Miller behind it.

"Am I going to jail now?" I asked nervously, with trembling cheek.

Mr. Miller snorted.
"Oh no, you're just getting fined."

"Heavily fined?"

"Well, $44."

I breathed freely and opened my eyes wide.

"Seriously?!" Jimmy and I exchanged beaming glances.

Mr. Miller nodded.
"Just pay them and you're free. But kids, this is not a good way of living. Try to resist, okay?"

We didn't listen to the last words he had to say. We were just happy that I didn't need jail or some kind of care.

But the happiness died as fast as it was born. The money. Sure, it was not a lot, but was there any chance on earth that two kids living on the streets would earn money?