Like the Angel

2003-2004

Pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it on the bag he had brought from the bus, Tim ran his hands through his hair and over his face. The crowd had been amazing, singing his lyrics back at him every second of it. Their screams still echoed in his ears as he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled a little. The bags under his eyes were clearly visible, his hair was hanging in front of his eyes and sticking to his scalp but he didn't really care. The other band members quickly joined their respective girlfriends, talking about the show with each other and just telling each other small moments they had caught the crowd doing on their side of the stage. The backstage area of the Congress Theatre in Chicago wasn't all that big, but it was big enough for the members who considered playing at the venue as a big enough honour. Tim took one of the water bottles standing in the room for them and drank it out in one gulp.

"Wow Tim, don't choke on that water man."

"I'm thirsty."

"I can see that."

Rolling his eyes, Tim just threw the empty water bottle in the trash can and grabbed another one, receiving a deep sigh from Joe who clearly didn't approve of the lead singer drinking up all the water.

"Leave some for us will you?"

"If you hurry up and grab some while it's still there, I might."

Joe stood up and asked Elena if she wanted some water too. She shook her head and looked at Tim and Joe battling for the last couple of water bottles left in the pack, laughing silently at their childlike behaviour. Joe won over Tim, considering that the lead singer was slightly smaller and just too tired to keep fighting for a bottle of water. Giving up, Tim made sure that Joe almost fell over because of the force he had put behind pulling the water bottle closer to his body. The two band members looked at each other before laughing.

"You know what surprises me?" Brandon asked.

"What?" Joe grumbled, getting up by himself and refusing to accept Tim's help in the fear that the singer might do something again. He rubbed the back of his jeans clean from the small layer of dust covering the floor and then looked at Brandon, who was still twirling his drum sticks around in his fingers.

"That Tim isn't calling Erin yet to play '20 questions'."

Tim's eyes widened briefly before he quickly rummaged through his bag in search for his cell phone. He had promised Erin to call her every night after the show but in all the commotion around him and the sheer ecstasy of playing in Chicago, he had completely forgotten.

"3 missed calls. Damn it!" Tim cursed under his breath and quickly called Erin back, pacing back and forth and hoping that nothing was wrong.

Knowing that his girlfriend was due any time now, he had hated the fact that he was on tour during the last few months of her pregnancy. Yet, they couldn't help it. Erin was convinced that Tim would be on time to be there for the birth and that he couldn't miss the tour for 'Revolutions Per Minute'. Tim still wasn't convinced however and so, he had promised to call her every night after the show to see how the baby and herself were doing.

"She's not picking up," Tim whined, jumping up and down and clearly still hyped up from the concert before. He ran around in circles on the same spot and muttered some curses under his breath when he got dizzy.

"Tim, relax man, I'm sure she just got out of control for a moment and forgot what time you got off stage. Chill."

"But what if there's something with the baby?" Tim asked, worry written all over his face.

"You got to relax man," Joe threw the now half-empty water bottle at Elena and placed his hands on Tim's shoulders, "Erin's nothing with you as a nervous wreck."

"I hate being on tour when she's so close to her due date," Tim muttered, casting his eyes down to the floor and clenching his cell phone between his fingers.

"We know man, but again, you're nothing to her if you end up having a heart attack because you panicked too much."

"I'm not going to have a heart attack Joe," Tim rolled his eyes; "I'm only 23 years old."

"Then stop panicking and make sure you reach it to 24 years old and hopefully even older."

The conversation was interrupted by Tim's cell phone going off and the singer immediately picking up and walking out of the room, the first question to his girlfriend being 'are you alright?’

"The guy needs to relax."

"Well, she is close to her due date so...I sort of get him."

"Still," Joe shrugged.
__

"How's the baby?"

"Baby is fine," Erin answered on the other side of the line, sounding tired but sure enough for Tim to finally relax. He leaned his head back against the wall and sank down, regretting the pain going over his back for a moment until he finally sat down on the ground and closed his eyes.

"You got me worried there with your three calls."

"I'm sorry," Erin said after a few seconds, he heard her groan in the background before she did but ignored it, imagining she was in their big bed at home, resting up and caressing her stomach while talking to him on the phone.

"Don't be, instead, tell me how your day was," Tim smiled, letting all the tension from before leave his body and the adrenaline finally getting out of his system, leaving him very tired and worn out in one of the halls of the venue.

"It was okay, are you due on stage anytime soon? Otherwise, you know, I'll hang up and call you back later."

"No just got from the stage, the crowd was so big; you should've seen it," Tim laughed, "why?"

"Where are you now?" Erin asked, making Tim worried more and more by every second.

"Erin, what's going on?" Tim asked, his breath hitching up in his throat as he waited for her to answer.

"Oh nothing, just wondering..."

"Chicago, why?"

"Good. Do you think you can make it to the hospital?"

"Shit! The baby's coming?"

"Sort of..."

"What? Sort off? Don't tell me only half of it is coming out!" Tim quickly shot up from the floor and ran back to the dressing room.

Erin laughed on the other side of the phone and listened to him running and asking questions about where she was and how far along she was. Sounding so out of breath, Erin briefly wondered how far away he was from wherever he was heading and where exactly he was going. Was he going to the bus to get some stuff? Or to the dressing room? Before she knew it she heard him talk to his other band members for a moment before a huge commotion started on the background. She had her answer; he had gone to the dressing room, where no doubt, all his stuff was at the moment.

"Tim? What in God's name are you doing?"

"Just, telling everyone," Tim answered, a bit shy. Erin sighed and shook her head, she should've known he would tell his band first and then only get to the hospital; it was only natural for Tim to inform the men that he was stopping with the tour to be with her. She smiled, thinking about their baby being with them in only a few hours and caressed her stomach before biting back the pain of another contraction.

"Erin, honey? Elena and Joe are taking me to hospital right now so just hang in there, I'll be there as soon as I can alright?"

"Tim it's alright, the doctor said it's going to take a little while longer before I'm ready to deliver anyway."

"I still want to be there on time," Tim grumbled, sounding rather disappointed that he hadn't been the one driving her to the hospital, "how did you get to the hospital anyway?"

"Your father drove me, I called him."

"Good old dad," Tim sighed in relief, "is he still there?"

"He's in the hallway, informing your mother and stuff that their first grandchild is coming."

"Oh great," Tim rolled his eyes, "so by the time I'll be there, the whole bunch will be there too won't they?"

"Probably yes."

Tim sighed and got in the car, it surprised him that Elena was driving but considering that Joe had just spend at least an hour and a half on stage jumping around and in front of thousands of fans, it was considered a smart idea to let the woman drive. He said his goodbyes to his girlfriend and then hung up, telling Elena all the details on how to get to the hospital the fastest.

"Tim, I know the road, now sit back and try not to faint before you even see her will you?" Elena raised an eyebrow, briefly looking at Tim's head poking between the two front seats before Joe sighed and pushed the singer back to his seat.

It didn’t take them all too long to get to the hospital; Tim was the first one to get out of the car, racing up to the entrance of the Lincoln Park hospital. Joe and Elena got out of the car somewhat slower and looked at the retreating form of the singer, sighing and hoping they wouldn’t lose him in the crowd of the hospital. Thankfully, they managed to catch up with Tim standing at the information desk, asking what room his wife was in. In all his hurry to get there, he had forgotten to ask her.

“She’s in room 328, come on!”

“Tim, like I said before, relax.”

“But we’re almost there Joe!”

Grabbing Tim by the arm, Joe pulled him back and then zipped up the still open sweater Tim had grabbed in a hurry. He placed his hands on the singer’s shoulders and stared him in the eyes for a few seconds, letting the man catch his breath and try to regulate it again. After a minute or so, Tim let out a deep breath and nodded, both his brown and blue eye looking into Joe’s and showing a more relaxed Tim than before.

“Now just stay calm. And go into her room, stay by her side and be a good guy. Don’t freak out. And very important. Don’t faint.”

“I’ll try,” Tim nodded, taking another few deep breaths and letting them out before Joe finally released him from his grip.

“Trying is not good enough McIlrath!” Joe yelled after his band mate when Tim took off in another run up the stairs until he reached the right floor, “instead that he takes the damn elevator,” Joe sighed, shaking his head at the man.
__

“Hey Erin, if he has a heart attack, it’s his own fault, we have nothing to do with it,” Joe nodded as they finally got into the room where Erin lay. She laughed and looked at Tim already sitting at her bedside, holding her hand and looking worried at her stomach every time a contraction hit her.

“It’s okay, he told me how you guys stopped him from getting here because you were all hippie like,” Erin nodded, smiling brightly before she clenched her teeth together and got through another contraction.

“We’re not hippies McIlrath.”

“You were all, ‘relax, take a deep breath’,” Tim shot up, finally looking at Joe.

Joe rolled his eyes and sat down on one of the free chairs. Tim’s father had clearly returned home to go and pick up his wife and other family members were going to arrive over the course of the evening, at least, that’s what Erin told them all. Tim looked even more worried at this news and then quickly shot his eyes back at the baby.

It's funny how he can handle standing in front of so many people and not look nervous at all but put his wife in the hospital delivering his baby and the man is a nervous wreck, Joe thought smiling, ’of course, the situations are completely different.

He quickly got shaken out of his thoughts by Tim talking about the names, they had both agreed to keep the gender hidden from everyone and even Tim himself didn’t know it, only Erin did and she had kept her mouth shut for the past months nerving Tim who really wanted to get the baby room completely gender decorated. Joe rolled his eyes at Tim suggesting some names at Erin and her pulling faces at every suggesting.

“You suck at names.”

“I do not,” Tim pouted.

“Tim, we’re not calling our child after a fictional character if it’s a girl,” Erin sighed.

“But Scarlett is a nice name!”

Erin looked at Tim and blinked a few times, shaking her head and making the brown haired man pout even more before his emotions shot back to worried when Erin got another contraction. Joe and Elena decided to leave for the night, considering they still had to inform the crew and everyone else outside the band that Tim was leaving the tour and that they should postpone the upcoming shows. Thankfully, there were only a few left and Joe hoped that the fans would understand the reasons why they postponed them.

They quickly left the bickering couple and just hoped that Tim would survive the next few hours.
__

“So, now he’s just sitting there being a nervous wreck?” Brandon asked, pushing Tim’s sweaty green t-shirt in the bag he had left and swinging it over his shoulder. It was clear that the singer wouldn’t come back to the venue to pick up his stuff.

“Basically yeah, he better call us when the baby arrived,”

“Should we tell Casper?” Brandon frowned, waiting for the rest of the guys to get all their shit together.

“Mm, but why spoil the fun when he does find out?”

“Because he’s not going to be happy hearing that Tim’s postponing the whole tour because of the baby from Tim himself, we should tell him,” Joe nodded.

“I don’t think Tim will be able to handle being yelled at by Casper at the time that he is going to come over to get his stuff from the bus,” Todd nodded, walking out of the dressing room with the rest.

“Mm, he might yell back,” Brandon grinned, “now that’ll be a funny sight, Tim is so much smaller than Casper.”

“Let’s just go and tell him guys,” Joe rolled his eyes, one of his arms over Elena’s shoulders while the other was holding his own bag.

“Fine, spoil our fun why don’t you?”

“Hey guys? Fifty bucks that Tim is going to faint in the delivery room,” Brandon grinned.
__

“Do you think the baby will respond if I sing to it?”

“Well what do you think it’ll do then?” Erin raised an eyebrow at Tim who stared at her stomach deep in thought.

“Stop pushing so much?” Tim asked, sounding rather unsure about it. Erin chuckled and ran her hand through his hair; it was still damp from his stage adventure that night, surprisingly. She wondered how many water bottles he had thrown over himself on stage tonight.

“And how would singing help with that darling?” Erin asked, wondering how he was going to explain this one.

“Because the baby would be focused on my beautiful singing then,” Tim nodded, confident, “and it would stop pushing so much.”

“I don’t think it’s going to help Tim,” Erin bit back a big smile and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and getting another contraction.

They were coming more frequent now, and the nurses were starting to tell her to just keep her breathing under control and that it would take at least another hour before she would be ready to deliver. Erin was getting tired of just laying there, getting through the contractions. After 9 months, she really wanted to get the baby out of her and in her arms.

Tim smiled and wiped some of the sweat from her brow before his fingers caressed her cheek and placed some of her long blond hair behind her ear. He kissed her forehead and whispered comforting words in her ear. Erin smiled and looked up at him, proud of him that he could stay so calm and collected right now. She knew he was going to start panicking later though, when she was about to deliver.

His brown and blue eye stared into hers, his one hand resting on her stomach. Erin placed her own on top of his and gave him a quick peck on the lips before she bit back another contraction. She really hoped that she could deliver soon, the pain of the contractions was enough to bring her to her knees, she just wanted to get through with it all and hold her baby.

“I hope the baby has your eyes.”

“I hope it doesn’t actually,” Tim admitted, “I got in a lot of problems with them; I don’t want to put that upon my own child.”

“They make you special,” Erin said, looking lovingly at him.

“Okay Miss McIlrath, how are you?”

“In pain,” Erin groaned, another contraction going through her body, “can’t you give me something?”

“Sorry, we can’t,” the nurse sighed, “but let me see how far along you are now alright?”

“You’re almost at 4 cm, so you’ll have to wait another while okay?” the nurse answered, looking apologetic to Erin who pouted and then clenched her jaw, showing that she was suffering from another contraction.

The nurse soon left the room again, leaving Erin and Tim alone again. Erin muttered some curses under her breath and told Tim to get her some water. The singer, not wanting to get on her bad side, quickly ran to the table on the other side of the room and grabbed the bottle of water, filling the glass next to it and handing it to Erin within seconds.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Tim admitted, blushing and biting his lower lip. Erin looked at him and glared, noting that she could believe it. He quickly shut up and sat back down in the chair, biting back a smile. He had been warned by Erin that she might say mean things to him during the time she was at the hospital but hadn’t expected it to be like this, it was almost funny how she was laying there in the bed, hoping that it was going to be all over soon.

Briefly, Tim wondered when his parents would arrive; perhaps his father would have some tips on how to deal with the whole birth miracle as his mother called it. He was sure his band had already placed a bet on whether he would faint or not. He hoped he wouldn’t, it would be rather embarrassing in his eyes to faint at the birth of his own child. His first child at that.

“Erin, just so you know, if I faint, I didn’t mean to.”

“You better not faint McIlrath,” Erin growled, just going through another contraction. He kissed her forehead and held her hand, squeezing it softly and nodding.
__

“Did you faint yet?”

“No dad,” Tim rolled his eyes, standing up and greeting his father into the room.

“Good boy.”

His mother immediately went to Erin and poured her another glass of water. The contractions were coming closer together now and the nurses told both of them that it was almost time to deliver the baby. Second by second, the nerves build up in Tim’s body and the butterflies started getting more active in his stomach. He couldn’t wait to hold his baby for the first time, to see its eyes stare back at his.

Tim was pulled out on the hall by his father, not knowing what was going to happen.

“Okay Tim, listen, you might faint in there, but seriously, whatever you do, make sure you don’t let her break your hand.”

“Why would she break my hand?” Tim frowned, looking at his palms and noticing they were sweaty. He quickly rubbed them off on his jeans and then looked away from his father’s staring eyes.

“Because she’ll squeeze it, really hard,” his father nodded.

“I’m sure she won’t break my hand though…”

“You better hope she won’t,” Jim nodded.

Tim gulped and leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths a few times, trying to calm his racing nerves. He hadn’t felt this nervous before getting on stage tonight, so he saw this nervous moment as a sort of payback for feeling so calm then. His father placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it before pushing him back into the room where Erin and his mother were chatting together about the baby even though the contractions sometimes made it hard for Erin to talk.

“Tim darling, did your blue eye just get even bluer?” his mother frowned and leaned up close to his face, inspecting his blue eye. Tim sighed and looked the other way, not wanting to see his mother’s eyes squinting to see if it really had or not.

“I’m about to deliver a baby here and all you care about is his blue eye?” Erin pouted, going through another contraction. Tim chuckled and quickly got at his girlfriend’s side, holding her hand and caressing it with his thumb.

“I’m sorry honey, but I can’t help it that my mom is fascinated about my beautiful blue eye.”

“If you don’t look out I’ll give you another one,” Erin glared, squeezing his hand harder than before and even making him wince for a moment.

A few minutes later, the nurse came in and urged his father and mother out, Tim held his breath before the nurse announced that they were going to start preparing Erin for delivery. They both looked at each other and showed a grin before the nurses started laying out everything they would need for the delivery. Tim stood as close to his girlfriend’s bedside as he could, trying not to be in the way of the nurses.

“You’re almost there Erin,” Tim assured her, squeezing her hand as gentle as he could. She nodded, her cheeks already blazing red from suffering through all the contractions. Her hair was soaked with sweat and hanging in front of her eyes. Tim ran his free hand through her hair, pulling it back so that it wouldn’t annoy her any longer. She smiled up at him and then did everything the nurses told her to do.

“The doctor will be in any minute now. Just try to relax now alright?”

Erin muttered some profanities under her breath and looked away from the smiling nurse who quickly left the room after hearing the woman cursing. Tim chuckled and pushed the chair away from behind him so that he wouldn’t hit his head against it if he did faint in the end. Singing some of his own lyrics under his breath, Tim tried to keep Erin’s thoughts away from child birth as long as he could. It helped a little, as she seemed a bit more relaxed than she had been in the past half hour.

“Where is that goddamn doctor?” Erin grumbled, glaring at the door and hoping that the doctor would walk through it any second now.

“The nurse only left 5 minutes ago, give him time to get ready and all the way up to your room darling,” Tim said to her, trying to keep her as calm as possible even though he knew that was a hard task at this moment of their lives.

“Well he better hurry up.”

“Alright let’s get this show on the road shall we?” the doctor smiled as he entered, Tim smiled back at him but Erin didn’t even try to, she was too busy fighting the pain of another contraction.

“Oh good, you’re already 8 cm dilated, the baby is crowning, looks like I got here right on time,” he nodded before putting his gloves on. Tim looked rather worried at the terms the doctor used but got an assuring squeeze from Erin and then just relaxed.

“Okay-“

“-Erin.”

“Erin,” the doctor nodded, “when I say push, I want you to push as hard as you can alright? So that this baby will get out of you in no time.”

“The sooner the better,” Erin muttered.
_

“Okay Erin, push once more and that should be it,” the doctor said, sounding rather excited about delivering this baby. Tim winced when Erin squeezed his hand again and just like her hoped that it would be over soon. Her whole face was red and her cheeks were blown up, making her resemble a tomato. Tim held that remark for himself though, knowing that if he would say that at this moment, he wouldn’t come out of it unscratched.

“You holding up okay there Mr. McIlrath?”

“Sure,” Tim nodded, looking rather sure of himself, he hadn’t fainted yet and it was almost over. A surge of pride went through his body.

It only took Erin three more hard pushes before the sound of crying echoed through the room and the doctor exclaiming that they were the proud parents of a baby girl. Tim and Erin laughed through the tears streaming down their cheeks as the nurses immediately took the baby to go and clean it up. Tim sat down on the bed and caressed Erin’s cheek, kissing her and telling her how proud he was of her.

“A baby girl, we got a baby girl,” he grinned, holding his forehead against hers.

“Do you have an idea for a name?”

“No. Do you?” Tim couldn’t stop grinning and even if he could, he wouldn’t. He knew that Erin didn’t agree with his names anyway so perhaps it would be safer if she chose the name.

“I do have one,” Erin bit her lip and smiled up at him, “Blythe.”

Tim blinked a few times, taking the name in and thinking about it, “Blythe McIlrath,” he nodded, “sounds good.”

The nurses came back with the baby and placed it carefully in Erin’s arms. Tim moved the blanket surrounding her away from her face a bit so he could see his daughter and the grin on his face grew even bigger. He let his thumb go over Blythe’s cheek and bit back more tears. Behind them, their parents entered the room again and looked at the couple with a knowing smile on their faces. Tim looked behind him and grinned at his parents.

“Come and look at your granddaughter,” he nodded towards Blythe and looked more proud than they had ever seen him.

“What did you call her?” her mother asked immediately, cooing over the baby and giggling with Erin over how much she looked like Tim when he was a baby.

“Blythe. Blythe McIlrath,” Erin nodded, smiling up at Tim and giving him a kiss on the lips.
_

“Knock knock.”

“Hey Joe,” Erin giggled, “come on in, but be quiet, the baby is sleeping.”

“Oh really? Which one?” Brandon asked, appearing behind Joe and looking over the man’s shoulder. Erin grinned at Tim’s band members and nodded towards the chair next to her bed where Tim was sleeping, his chest rising up while he held a bundle of blankets in his arms.

“Both of them.”

They all looked at Tim and the baby sleeping together and smiled, the respective girlfriends soon found their way towards Erin’s bedside while the guys went to look over at Tim and the new member of the band. They smiled when they saw the baby wide awake and looking at them with big curious eyes.

“Guys, meet Blythe McIlrath,” Erin nodded, looking lovingly at Tim and Blythe in the chair.

“At least she didn’t get Tim’s eyes.”

“I don’t think I could’ve handled 4 of those,” Joe sighed.

“His mother said that she looks like him, but his father said that she looks like me so we both really don’t know at this point,” Erin shrugged, “she’s beautiful though.”

The men moved aside to let their girlfriends have a look at the baby. The little girl clearly liked all the attention and tried to move her little arms towards the women above her but only managed to end up flailing them around.

“Do you think we should wake him up?”

“Tell me Erin, did he faint?”

“Not at all,” Erin sounded shocked of the fact herself as all men looked at Tim with widened eyes.

“Okay everyone, pay up,” Joe grinned, holding out his hand and waiting for the other band members to pay up for the bet.