The Darkest Hour

"Give me a shot to remember, and you can take all the pain away from me. You can see I will remember, the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead."

Mikey way sat on the couch in his new home. Alica* was next to him, her head on his shoulder. Anyone that saw then could tell they were so in love, but that was only on the surface. Deep beneath Mikey's fiance-loving stature, he was fighting a battle. His anxiety was reaching an all time high, even with the help of his friends, family and his fiance (his three F words).

"Mikey, honey, are you going to be okay today? Without me?" Alica asked. She was so worried about him. The love of her life was breaking apart; falling into halves of halves of halves-eighths. He was becoming so distant lately, and his screaming in his sleep was getting worse. She held his hand and squeezed, hoping he'd understand just how worried she was. Alica cared for her fiance more than anything on the planet.

Mikey didn't nod. He barely moved. His frantic eyes didn't leave Alica's face, but she could tell by the way his hand shook that he was worried. Very worried; he was nearly having a seizure beside Alica. Apparently, the chair he was sitting in wasn't enough to steady him.

"Please baby, talk to me. I'm so overly freaked out about everything," Alica begged. Mikey just sighed and turned his head. She doesn't understand. I love her, but she won't ever understand. None of them will, he thought. Oh, was Michael James Way ever wrong.

Alica sighed, looking across the room to Gerard and Lyn-Z. The two had only been dating for a while now, and they were happier than Alica had ever seen. She always wondered why Mikey and her couldn't be that happy, but then she remembered Mikey's fragile state and decided her fiance was more important than their happiness until he was better.

"Mikey, the Doctor Pasely will see you now," a nurse said. The crew knew the procedure; only one family member. They had all agreed to let Alica go with Mikey, because she meant the most to him, even over Gerard. She was all Mikey was hanging onto; on a good day, she was the light to his Darkest dreams. He could always smile on days he wanted to be with no one but her.

"Let's go," Alica whispered. She stood up first, then helped Mikey get his footing. He seemed so unnaturally nervous, but everyone in the small waiting room knew the real reason for his shaking. His anxiety was taking a strong hold that day. There wasn't anything any one of them could do about it but pray tomorrow, or whenever Mikey and Alica returned, would be better.

Alica followed the nurse, pulling Mikey along with her. They headed down a narrow hall, making Mikey more anxious by the second. Alica could feel that, his hands were shaking more and more every time one more door passed them. She sighed, hoping this time would be different. She loved Mikey way too much to loose him to pills, alcohol, and depression.

"Here you go," the nurse said, pushing a door open wide enough for the two to enter the room. There was a long couch on one wall of the room, with a wide chair across from it. Next to the couch was a smaller chair, one that was specifically placed there for Alica. Dr. Pasely knew Mikey wouldn't see her unless he had someone with him.

Alica made sure Mikey was in his seat before she took hers. Dr. Pasely shortly joined them, and Mikey's shaking suddenly ceased. Alica instantly felt jealous. The simple atmosphere this doctor brought with her made Mikey calm, but not his own fiance? Of course the doctor was married happily, but that didn't stop Alica from feeling horrible about herself.

"Hello, Mikey. How are you today?" she asked. He sighed, sliding closer to Alica, knowing she needed his assurance that he was still hers. His head shook, as if he had turrets. His hands had all but stopped moving uncontrollably, and Alica sort of smiled, but tried to be serious, too.

"Not good," he said in a raspy voice. Mikey's throat hurt from all of his screaming. His nightmares were growing worse every night, leading him to never wanting to asleep. He started to feel like his good friend, Pete Wentz. Maybe when this was all over, he'd write a book about his nightmares, just like Pete.

"How so?" the doctor asked. Alica sighed.

"The nightmares are worse, and I can't concentrate on anything without feeling horrible. Everything seems to be crashing around me," he confessed. Alica tightened her grip on his hand, and he quickly looked at her. His eyes told her he still loved her, but that the doctor needed his full attention while they were here. She knew this; it would be the only way to help Mikey.

"Maybe I should prescribe-"

"No," Alica said bluntly. She stared right into the doctor's eyes, keeping contact with both Mikey and Dr. Pasely.

"Excuse me, Miss Simmons?" the doctor asked. Alica sighed. She shook her head and stood up slowly.

"No more medication. I don't want Mikey to overdose," she demanded. Dr. Pasely sighed, motioning Alica to sit down. She did, once she was sure the doctor wasn't about to prescribe Mikey more drugs. Over-the-counter or not, Alica didn't want any thing else ruling Mikey's life but her.

Like stated before, he meant more to her than her own life.