Holding Our Breath While We Touch

was so stoked for Tim's party the next week. Juliette was not back yet from OELC, but we had been IMing for at least on hour each day, keeping each other up to date. It was a go for her coming to the party with me, which was such a relief since I wouldn't know anyone there other then Pat, Kennedy, John, Jared and Garrett. Juli said that she would be back on Friday, so the party the next day would be the perfect time for her to get acquainted with the boys.

Over the next week I not only spent a lot of time with Pat, but also with the rest of the boys. Every single one of them was adorable in their own way, and I loved them all for it. Come to think of it, before I met Pat and his friends, my life seemed boring. Now, instead of having to go swimming at the pier by myself, they all came with me. We all held hands, jumping into the water; them in their boxer-briefs and me in my undies and one of Pat's T shirts. They all came to hang out at the Green Bean Café when I worked and usually headed back to Pat's or sometimes to McDonald’s or Taco Bell as half the band loved one and the other half loved the other.

Friday night rolled around a whole lot quicker then I had expected. I was at Pat's house watching That Thing You Do with Garrett when I noticed the time.

"A! Garrett! Crap, it's almost ten after seven. I told Juli that I'd pick her up at the bus station ten minutes ago," I said while frantically pulling on someone's hoodie and my shoes.

"Chill, there, Dei. Hold up a minute and I'll give you a ride over," called Garrett from the couch as he set the DVD on pause and came over to the door.

When we pulled up to the bus station Juliette was the only one there.

"Juli!" a yelled at her, running to give her a big hug. "So sorry that I'm late!"

Juliette laughed at my fretful greeting. "Don't worry about it Dei. I've missed you!"

While giving each other a much missed hug Juli whispered in my ear while pointing to Garrett, "So, it that Pat leaning on that hideous yellow car?”

"No," I laughed us to Garrett who was leaning on the passenger door of his yellow car - something he was quite embarrassed about owning, "that's Garrett."
"Oh."

"Ladies, are you going to stand there and grope each other all day? Because I've got a movie I want to finish watching!" called Garret, laughing, from his car.

"Hey, now, how many times have you seen that movie?" I teased back.

"What movie are you guys watching?" asked Juli looking confused at me and Garrett's playful manner with each other.

"That Thing You Do!" Garret and I said simultaneously.

"Oh! I love that movie. Lets go!"

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Over the next week Juli became almost as tight with the boys was I was. This was great, of course, because not only did this mean I could hang out with her as well as Pat and the rest of The Maine, but also that her being around prevented any alone time between Kennedy and I. Lately, before Juliette had come home, there had been starting to be more and more of those. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that he was starting to like me. But, that, of course, couldn't be true. Kennedy had a girlfriend. And they were very, very serious. Her name was Leah. I had met her only once briefly when I went with Pat to pick up Kennedy to go to Taco Bell - she was just leaving.

The week flew by faster than I had expected it so. Next thing I knew I was rummaging through a combination of mine and Juliette's clothes which were stacked on Juli's bed; The All-American Rejects blasting from my iPod dock I had brought over and Juliette in her en suite bathroom.

"Hey, Juli," I shouted to her over the music and the wall separating us, "I found what I am going to wear."

"Well, put it on and come over to show me!" cried Juli from the bathroom.

I pulled on my selected outfit; a navy blue blouse with black, sheer tights and clunky heels.

I walked over to the doorway of the washroom and gave Juliette a quick spin around of my chosen outfit.

"You know," she said, "you'll be taller then Pat if you wear that."

"Oh! You're right. Do you think I should change?"

"Don't worry about it, hunny. No one will care, plus," she added, "you are totally skinny enough to pull it off as looking hot."

I laughed at her comment. Leave it to Juli to find something positive about a situation.

"So," I turned to her, "what are you planning on wearing?"

"Oh, jeez. I don't know. I was thinking like your red plaid tunic with a belt; you know, the wide black one. I don't even know which one of us owns that thing any more" she laughed, "with the rubber leggings and...help with shoes please?"

"Sure." I scanned through her closet. I thought for a while before pulling out a pair of calf-length gladiator sandals. "How about these?"

"Omigod, Dei, you just saved my life." She strapped them on and we made our way out her door, ready to head over to Tim's.

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"Oh, come on Leah!" slurred Kennedy about three hours later. "Why do you have to leave?"

"Kenny, hun, I have you work tomorrow, I already told you. Ok, well I have to leave now. Bye-bye sweetie," cooed Leah patiently. She was probably the only sober person in the building. That is including Juli and myself. She was being a totally sweet girlfriend. Kennedy, however, was too plastered to see it, and for some reason thought she was being selfish and rude.

"LEAH! What did I ever do to deserve this, babe? Why are you treating me like this?"

"Bye, darlin'," she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and headed out of the door.

I, however, was not around to observe this. I was with Pat in the backyard making out and sharing a bottle of Kelouha with him, drinking right from the bottle. Juli, I was pretty sure, was somewhere with Garrett. Or John. Or Jared. Well, she was with one of them doing something I didn't want to know.

"Pat, hunny?" I said in a high baby-ish voice.

"Yes babe?" answered Pat in an equally silly voice.

"I need to go to the washroom. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I lifted myself off of him and made my way back into the house. It reeked of alcohol and sweat. There were people everywhere: dancing, talking, arguing, and kissing. I made my way through the throng of bodies to a washroom at the top of the stairs. I stumbled in, holding the doorframe to support while I waited for my eyes to come back into focus. I slid (literally) over to the mirror and wiped off some mascara from underneath my eyes. I pulled out some non-shine lip chap from my pocket and attempted to put it on. I turned around and lifted up the toilet seat. I was just starting to unroll the toilet paper to cover the seat when Kennedy fell (literally) into the washroom.

"Deidee!" he cried.

"Oh, Kenny!" I said, sounding a little too concerned, "what's wrong?"

"It's Leah. She left me! She left me, Dei! What do I do?"

"Don't worry, Kennedy, I'll help you." I rushed over to him and pulled him upright, into a hug.

"Don't worry" I repeated.

"I won't babe, I won't." he rested his head on my shoulder and I rubbed his back comfortingly. He lifted his head and looked at me. I looked back.

"Dei?"

"Yea, Kenny?"

"I wanna love you." With that he broke out into his band's cover of I Wanna Love You by Akon.

"Sush! Sush, Kennedy! Stop being so silly!" I started into a fit of laughter. By the time I had stopped laughing, he had also stopped singing. "You are a very good singer," I told him, all the while we still had our arms around each other. His arms, however, were slowly making their way down from my waist to my hips.

"Well, thank you very much, Miss Deidee. Do I get a reward for my performance?"

"Oh, golly," Wow. I must had sounded like such an idiot. Kennedy, however, didn't think so. "Of course to deserve one! You worked so hard to put on such an astounding display of utter talent." I leaned in and kissed him. The first time it was just a friendly peck. The first time.

After that we just kept going. The next thing I knew he was pulling off my shirt and I was in a bedroom I assumed to be Tim's.

"Kennedy," I moaned. Why am I doing this? What about Pat? I love Pat, not Kennedy! Those are the thoughts that should have been going through my head. But they weren't and I wish that they had. Because if they had then maybe Kennedy and I wouldn't have gone so far.

"Dei," Kennedy whispered back to me, "why didn't we do this sooner?"

"I really don't know, Kenny. I really don't."

For the rest of the night I heard nothing from Pat. For the rest of the night I lay in a bed in my boyfriend's brother's house with a boy who wasn't my boyfriend and did things I really shouldn't have been doing. Damn, I did things with Kennedy that I hadn't even done with Pat. All night.