You're All I Ever Wanted

Present day

I got into my old school Chevy and drove home to Aunt Sarah’s from work. I couldn’t believe I would be seventeen in just a few short months. I smiled yet it quickly turned to a frown. It would be the second birthday I had spent with out Jake. I felt the tears start to form. I missed Jake so much yet I wasn’t ready to face him. I wanted to be sure my feelings for Jacob Black were gone. I didn’t want to be in love with some one that was never going to love me back. The pang in my chest hurt as much as it had when I had first seen them together. I hadn’t set foot in La Push since that day. It hurt because I knew he was going to get girl friends but never that some girl would take my place. That still stung. I wanted to be over him. I wanted to never see his face again. The sting in my chest came back. Jake was my best friend… I mean he was. Now he probably doesn’t even give me a second thought. My brother and Sam had done me a big favor that night. They had gotten me away from the cause of the heart break I felt but they didn’t stop the actual pain. The tears had started to fall. I had gained a lot of friends out here but none that even came close to the actual bond that Jake and I had; not even the bond that I had with Quil and Embry. I missed them as well. The friends I had out here didn’t even come close to the ones I had back in La Push.
I pulled into Aunt Sarah’s house. I had been living here with her for about two years now. She wasn’t my biological aunt but she meant as much to me as she meant to Sam and that was his actual family. Aunt Sarah came out onto the porch when my truck pulled into the driveway. Her long jet black hair had long stripes of gray through it. Her skin was still the deep russet color it had been in her younger years. She was a few inches shorter than me but she was just as intimidating as any man I knew. I smiled and slammed my truck door shut. It didn’t rain here all that much. I missed that a lot. I sighed and walked up the porch stairs. She opened up her arms for a hug. I gladly gave her one. She reminded me of my mother in a lot of ways. I missed my mother dearly as well. The need to see her has intensified as my birthday nears. Aunt Sarah pulled away from the hug.
“Sean called he just wanted to check up on you.” I nodded.
“I’ll call him back later,” we walked into the house.
“Also Gabriel called.” I smiled. Gabriel was one of my first friends here. I knew he cared a lot about me but I knew I could never give him what he truly wanted; my love. I know he was hurting like I was when I was in La Push. I have tried hard to love Gabe too but I just couldn’t make myself do it. No matter how far I pushed Jake from my thoughts he always came back. Even when I kissed Gabe I saw Jake. It’s aggravating because I don’t think I would ever be over him. I felt that stinging feeling hit my chest again.
“Ah what did Gabriel want?” She smiled warmly at me.
“He wants to see you.” I nodded. But was I in the state to see him? I was a wreck but if he wanted to see me I owed it to him to go. I went and hugged Aunt Sarah and I walked back outside. I sighed. I hope he didn’t say anything to upset me twice as bad.
I got into my truck and started the drive to Gabriel’s house. I had met Gabe about a week after I got here. He was sweet to me and we became instant friends. His sister and I hit it off as well. Kaitlin is one of my best friends. She is the closest female friend I have had in my entire life. She has dark ebony hair and chocolate brown eyes. She was stunning. I bet Sean would love her. I smiled to myself. Sean had been up to visit me a few times since I moved up here. He missed me at home. I could see it he knew I couldn’t go home yet though. He didn’t question it but I had finally broke down and told him the reason and made him swore not to tell or doing anything to Jake. I remember how his eyes looked like he had a flame in them. I knew he would have killed Jake had he got the chance. I sighed. I had stuck up for him then. That reminds me I need to call him when I get home but anyways Gabe gets angry at me when I stick up for Jake still so I have learned to keep my mouth closed when it comes to Jacob Black. Kaitlin understood my pain to a point. She was the only one around here that I told everything too. I told her why I left. I told her how much I was still in love with Jake. She always sighed no matter what. If I ever went back to La Push I was taking her with me.
I pulled up in front of Gabe and Kaitlin’s house and slammed my door shut. Gabe came out onto the porch.
“Lillie we really need to talk.” I sighed.
“About what Gabe?” He waved for me to follow him. I did as he wanted and sat next to him on the porch.
“What I’m about to tell you is going to hurt you and I’m apologizing in advance. Lillie I am in love with you and I know you don’t feel that way about me so I’m telling you this will all the love in the world when I say this. I know you could love me too if you would just let go of him. I want you to go back to La Push and leave all the thoughts of him there. When you come back I will be here waiting for you but until you do I will not answer your calls. I’m going to pretend I don’t know you at all.” I felt my eyes water up. Gabe no longer wanted to be my friend either. I got up and walked into his house. I had a chance to be happy. It meant giving up on what I know and how I felt or used to feel. I didn’t know I what I felt any more. Did I care about Gabe? He was right though I guess. He had waited around so long for me and I still hadn’t gotten over it. I owed this to Gabe and to myself. I walked into Kaitlin’s room.
“Hey Kit Kat start packing because we are going to La Push tonight.” She jumped up and squealed.
“What time are we leaving?” I smiled.
“In an hour so hurry up.”
I walked out of her room and back outside. I went right past Gabe and didn’t say a word to him. I didn’t even look at him, I got into my truck and left. I refused to look into the rear view mirror. I was doing what he asked and I’m going home. I pulled into Aunt Sarah’s driveway and made sure to quietly shut the door. She was sitting at the kitchen table with a smile on her face.
“So you have decided to go home?” I smiled and nodded, “I am proud of you Lillie now go show that boy you can do better.” I ran and kissed her cheek and started to gather up my things.
An hour passed and I was all packed up. I felt the tears start to build up.
“Aunt Sarah you have been amazing to me; I love you.” She came and hugged me.
“I love you too Lillie now go do what’s right.” I nodded and sped off to go pick up Kaitlin. I did that as fast as possible to avoid confrontation with Gabriel. She ran out with two big suitcases.
“Let’s do this!” She squealed and I let out a held in breath.
“La Push here we come.”