Remembering February

“ Hey how are you?”

“ Well, what do you think?” I said angrily, why am I so mad at him, he doesn’t even done anything wrong.

Well he did

I think he did

He broke my heart

“ Ouch, that hurts.” He said with a cute voice that makes me want to jump at him.
Okay that was creepy.

“ Then what do you want me to say” I challenged him, as I pulled my self to sit on the bed.

“ Hmm, let me think.”

I waited and watch his face

He’s perfect

“ Well, why don’t you say that you're not mad at me”

Crap.

How does he know that I’m mad at him?
Well I’m not mad actually
Just that I want to forget him
But I can’t

“ I’m not mad at you,” I said looking down the floor, not wanting to see the expression of his face.

Then I felt his hand on my chin and he pulled his hand so that I could see his face.

Shit shit shit

I can’t move

I can’t breathe

I can’t think

Then he leans towards my face and looked at me with his puppy eyes

“ Ryan!” Brendon said as Ryan leaned a bit closer to my face

“ Lets go home!” He said walking towards Ryan and me

He pulled away from my face

All I could do is just stare at him

“ I hope you’ll get better Zoe” Brendon said as he pulled Ryan

“ Yeah, and I hope you’re not mad at me” Ryan said as they walked out of my apartment.

I can’t say anything
I just nodded and they were gone

“ Hello? Zoe, are you okay?” Katy said

“ Huh? What? Oh yeah”

“ Okay, what the hell just happened between you and Ryan?”

“ I have absolutely no idea”I said,

still think that I was dreaming about what just happened

16th February 2008

I was smiling all day

It’s creepy I know

But what the hell, I almost kissed Ryan

At least I think I almost kissed him

But I don’t know what the hell he wants

I know that he’s still has a girlfriend

“ Zoe didn’t you hear the big news?”

“ What news?”

“ Keltie cheated on Ryan so he broke up with her this morning”

What?! Am I dreaming? But why am I happy?

I know that he’s been hurt

But I feel happy because they broke up

I’m a terrible person

Fuck.