Letter to Me

I hate these type of things, I'm expected to write down what a great summer I had when my summer started as shitty as it ended. Before school let out we all had a plan of how we where going to spend are summer, well I'd like to be the first to say I wish I never promised.

I love my dad, I do. But when he brings home some girl on Friday night that's old enough to be my younger sister, my stomach boils and my mind shouts words that would earn me a slap across the face.

They don't last long, his girls I mean, a week, four at the most. I'm waiting for him to bring one home and announce their engagement but he won't. Whether it's because he knows that it will crush my mother, I'm not ready for it or if his finally realized that his not ready to move on.

My parents divorce wasn't a shock, they fought about everything. Didn't mean they didn't love each other, they just couldn't agree on anything, from whether I should go to public school or private, how much my allowance was, curfew, take out or home cooked meal. Didn't matter the subject an argument would arise and would always come back to the fact that I am not in fact my father's child.

When I was a kid they shield me away from these fights, told me to go to my room or they went to their's but as I got older that arrangement changed, soon they fought in front of me, in front of anyone for that matter. To soon the real reason for the fight was put out there, my mother had cheated on my father two days before the wedding.

So here I am at thirteen mouth hanging open, my parents glaring at each other over the dinner table, people from the next table bugged eyed as they watched my perfect life un fold.

“I cannot believe you just did that.” my mother said horrified glancing down at where I was sitting next to my father. When my father didn't say anything my mother squeezed her lips together and said sternly, “I want a divorce.”

She then proceeded to walk out of the high scale restaurant, she didn't reappear till a month later tanned and with signed divorce and custody papers in hand.

I've been tip toeing around my father ever since my mother just left me with my so called father. And four years latter I'm still tip toeing.


“What are you doing?” Dad, Dan Carpenter, asked casually as he walked by me at the kitchen table.

“Writing a letter.” I said before realizing where it could lead, I looked up his back was stiff as he poured his coffee. I bit my lip waiting watching as he loosened his dark blue tie.

Then turning he smiled a large cup of coffee in his hand, “Night baby.”

“Night daddy.” I whispered to the empty kitchen.

“My boat, the lake and summer, where all set.” Brad stated his eyes shinned over from the beer.

“A toast to summer!” Emily said louder so everyone could hear, from where she was sitting next to Brad, both their arms wrapped around each other's waists.

Beer cans smashed into one another, cheers went up here and there. I quickly pulled back my brown hair and waited for what I knew would come.

Strong arms wrapped around my middle, pulling me so that my feet lifted off the ground.

“Promise, Brad's boat, the lake and summer, all summer long.” Jared's low voice whispered in my ear, his voice was clear, Jared wasn't a drinker. I giggle as Jared tightened his arms around as I tried to squirm, he was starting to walk towards the vacant pool.

“Jared it's freezing out.” I squealed fighting against him truly now, I wasn't one for the cold something I got from my mother.

“Promise” Jared said lowly into my ear.

“Fine I promise!” I yelled staring at the water, there was a reason no one was already in the pool, June was barely over, summer vacation was just up the road and around the corner, teachers where still collecting grades that mattered.

“Don't worry, I'll keep you warm.”Jared breathed lowly in my ear, before jumping and then together for a matter of seconds we where air born over the frigid water before it all came crashing down.