20 Dollar Nose Bleed

"Your going to Pittsburgh why?" Patrick asks, hoping he heard Pete wrong about his traveling plans.

Pete ponders a moment, a pause on the phone; "I'm getting married." He decides on.

"Yea, sure Pete. And I'm a Victoria's Secret model." Patrick retorts as he stands up to look at himself in his mirror.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you in some of that stuff." Pete chuckles with a smirk in his voice.

"Please, her secret is you have to be thin and have huge knockers, like I could fit into any of that play-boy crap. Now then, answer my question."

"I told you, I'm getting married!"

"To who?"

"I can't tell you her name."

Patrick just laughs at this. Pete with a girl? Patrick himself knows just how gay Pete is, he of all people should know. Many a night they spent on his couch in his apartment (ruining the leather) occasionally Pete's water-bed. 'Trick preferred the water-bed, it moved with them.

"What?" Pete asks, confused by Patrick's laughter.

"You and a girl?" Patrick manages to choke out. "You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true."

"Sure. Pete, that would mean, not only were you cheating on me, but that your straight. Pete, I know you too well." Patrick explains.

"Apparently, you don't.

"Come on, Pete. Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Patrick pauses, trying to count how many times Pete had told him 'I love you' or written 'Pete's Property' on his pelvis in every sharpie color imaginable. After about thirty seconds, he decided it was countless. Both things were almost daily, countless times a day. Pete couldn't be serious.

"'You know, your invited to the wedding." Pete says, breaking the silence and Patrick's concentration.

"Oh really, now?" Patrick gets defensive.

"Yea, I mean, it just wouldn't be my wedding without you there!"

"I just might jump the bride." Patrick mutters loud enough for Pete to hear.

"What?!" Pete's surprised, Patricks' practically a pacifist.

"Don't let me near her. Give her body guards or me a straight jacket."

"How does your body deal with Novocain?"

On his side of the phone, Patrick's staring down his stove in anger. He has half-a-mind to light it up, and the house...eventually himself. Then Pete would be sorry.

What, just what had compelled Pete to tell him this? Surly, it was a lie. He knew Pete, and this was his idea of a joke. It was his way of getting a reaction. Of getting attention. Or, perhaps he was using it for lyrical inspiration. Whichever one it was, Patrick knew he wasn't serious. But he just couldn't help but to react, Pete was his.

"'Trick, 'Trick you still there?" Pete calls from his side of the phone.

Patrick stutters the first thing that comes to his mind. "She's not good enough for you!" After a moment, "If you know what's good for you, don't you dare call me that anymore."

"What!? 'Trick, you've never even met her! And why not, 'Trick?" Patrick's sudden out-burst scares him.

"Exactly! And you know why." Patrick finds himself getting sassy with a wall and pointing it down with a glare on his face in place of Pete.

"'Trick, your getting on my nerves."

"I'm getting on your nerves!? I'm the one who just had my boyfriend call me to inform me he's getting married to some chick that I don't even know!" Patrick explodes. "I swear, I'm gonna find this chick, knock her out with a shovel, tie her to a tree, tie the tree to a car, and drown the whole lot of them!"

"So, now your a cowboy, 'Trick?" Pete asks calmly.

"Deal. With. It. Like. You. Care."

"I don't like cows.

"Why not!? Your marrying one soon!"

Pete has to move the phone from his ear as he tries to stifle laughter. He knew what he was doing was mean and putting stress on poor Patrick for almost no reason. But, it would all pay off in the end. The priceless look on his face would make up for it. Just a little longer and a little further, it's almost done with.

"'Trick, go answer your door. Pete speaks calmly once more.

"How would you know if someone's at my door or not?!"

"'Trick, I can hear it in the background.

Patrick shuts up and listens. Sure enough, the door bell if being rung repeatedly, loud and clear. See what you do to me Pete? Patrick thinks as he goes to answer the door. Whoever it is won't stop hitting the button as fast as they can. Rape would be the best word to describe what the poor button was going through.

"What?" Patrick tries to sound calm as he opens the door.

He is shocked, there kneels Pete. An open ring box in his hands and his phone on his shoulder. Pete smiles and lets the phone fall as he smiles up at the dumb-struck Patrick.

"Well, 'Trick, what do you say? Will you marry me?" Pete speaks in a voice that's both husky and sultry at the same time.

Patrick is speechless, isn't Pete supposed to be packing for his trip to Pittsburgh or something? His eyes start watering, in both joy and anger. How dare Pete do this to him? How dare he be mad at Pete for it? His tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth and he realizes he's stopped breathing as his lungs scream for air.

He draws in a shaky breath; tears spill over and his tongue releases itself; "Y-yes."

Pete's smile widens as he stands up and grasps Pa tick's left hand. Slowly, he slides the silver and gold band onto Patrick's ring finger and kisses it. Patrick's shaking the whole time, earning a light chuckle from Pete as his lips meet Patrick's hand.

"Pete, I still love you. Al-always and forev-ever." Patrick stutters out.

"Like a heroine addict loves his dealer, babe." Pete smiles crookedly.

"We're so messed up."

"You have no idea." Pete's lips make their way to Patrick's.

Patrick lick's Pete's upper lip, asking for access and Pete pulls away.

"Please?" Patrick asks, his voice gruff and knees weak.

"Cue the 'Happily Ever After'." Pete forces himself into Patrick's mouth.