Waiting
Waiting
I was sitting there on my front porch, waiting for something to happen. It was raining out. I had a knife in my hand, ready to just give up on life and kill myself. At this point, I felt that the world hated me, even my best friends and most of my family. I felt lonely. I was depressed. I needed someone in my life, a man.
I held the knife above my wrist. I was about to cut, but I couldn't do it and I broke down in tears. I lay there crying and thinking about my future. I ran in the house and I grabbed some money.
I started walking down the street, to nowhere in particular. I just kept walking. I wasn't paying attention to where I was. I just kept on walking. Pretty soon, I had ended up walking about 8 miles. I didn't care. It wasn't like I had anything to do or anywhere to go. I just wanted to be dead, in the ground with nothing to worry about.
I walked on and I came across a sign that read: "You are now entering Berkley, CA." "Good" I thought. I don't have to worry about the shit town that I was living in before. I kept walking. Just then, my cell phone rang. I didn't even bother reading who it was, because I knew it wasn't anyone important, or someone calling me just to be a jackass. Then I heard the tone that told me that I had a message. I decided to listen to it, even though it probably wouldn't be anything I wanted to listen to.
I listened to the message and this is what it said, "Hey you little bitch! Where the hell are you going??!!!! You better get your ass back here before I come and beat you down!!!! NOW!!!!" the voice screamed. It was my mother. God, I hated her fucking guts.
I might as well tell you a little bit about my mom, even though I hate talking about her. And by the way, my name is Marie, Marie Pankowski. My mom Christina is a total slut. She's an alcoholic and she is psychotic and she doesn't think I know that. She's always kept that a secret and I found out by listening in on one of her phone calls. Sometimes my mom hits me other times she beats me. I have many scars to prove it, but I'm too afraid to go to court to protest, so I can live with my dad. I'm too afraid that she would find out, and then maybe kill me. That wouldn't matter now because I hate myself anyways, but my dad lives far away, in New York. Ok, now you know a little about me, let's get back to the story.
I erased the message on the phone and quickly flipped it closed. Again, I started walking, walking away to wherever the hell I ended up. I didn't care, nobody cared. Just then I thought of an idea.
"Why don't I just lay in the middle of the road and let a car run over me?" I thought. "No, because there might be a chance that I could still live." I thought again.
It was getting late, and it was just about 11:00. It was still raining, which I really didn't notice. I found a park and I decided to sleep in the bushes. That way, nobody could find me and try to bring me back home.
I woke up the next day a little bit before dawn. I got up, brushed my self off and started walking, again. I only had to walk a few miles before I reached a McDonalds and I decided to eat. I hadn't eaten anything in over 14 hours.
I went in grabbed some fries and a double cheeseburger. The total meal cost me about $4, so I had $36 left. I walked out and suddenly; someone had grabbed me by the neck and turned me around. I was shit scared, and then, I saw who it was, the person I most dreaded.
I held the knife above my wrist. I was about to cut, but I couldn't do it and I broke down in tears. I lay there crying and thinking about my future. I ran in the house and I grabbed some money.
I started walking down the street, to nowhere in particular. I just kept walking. I wasn't paying attention to where I was. I just kept on walking. Pretty soon, I had ended up walking about 8 miles. I didn't care. It wasn't like I had anything to do or anywhere to go. I just wanted to be dead, in the ground with nothing to worry about.
I walked on and I came across a sign that read: "You are now entering Berkley, CA." "Good" I thought. I don't have to worry about the shit town that I was living in before. I kept walking. Just then, my cell phone rang. I didn't even bother reading who it was, because I knew it wasn't anyone important, or someone calling me just to be a jackass. Then I heard the tone that told me that I had a message. I decided to listen to it, even though it probably wouldn't be anything I wanted to listen to.
I listened to the message and this is what it said, "Hey you little bitch! Where the hell are you going??!!!! You better get your ass back here before I come and beat you down!!!! NOW!!!!" the voice screamed. It was my mother. God, I hated her fucking guts.
I might as well tell you a little bit about my mom, even though I hate talking about her. And by the way, my name is Marie, Marie Pankowski. My mom Christina is a total slut. She's an alcoholic and she is psychotic and she doesn't think I know that. She's always kept that a secret and I found out by listening in on one of her phone calls. Sometimes my mom hits me other times she beats me. I have many scars to prove it, but I'm too afraid to go to court to protest, so I can live with my dad. I'm too afraid that she would find out, and then maybe kill me. That wouldn't matter now because I hate myself anyways, but my dad lives far away, in New York. Ok, now you know a little about me, let's get back to the story.
I erased the message on the phone and quickly flipped it closed. Again, I started walking, walking away to wherever the hell I ended up. I didn't care, nobody cared. Just then I thought of an idea.
"Why don't I just lay in the middle of the road and let a car run over me?" I thought. "No, because there might be a chance that I could still live." I thought again.
It was getting late, and it was just about 11:00. It was still raining, which I really didn't notice. I found a park and I decided to sleep in the bushes. That way, nobody could find me and try to bring me back home.
I woke up the next day a little bit before dawn. I got up, brushed my self off and started walking, again. I only had to walk a few miles before I reached a McDonalds and I decided to eat. I hadn't eaten anything in over 14 hours.
I went in grabbed some fries and a double cheeseburger. The total meal cost me about $4, so I had $36 left. I walked out and suddenly; someone had grabbed me by the neck and turned me around. I was shit scared, and then, I saw who it was, the person I most dreaded.