That's the Way Things Are

"Hey Josh" I said opening the door with a smile.

"Hey Adds, so this is your new place?" he asked stepping in and looking around

"Not technically new, but yes" I said with a laugh as I shut the door.

"So he doesn't know?"he asked as we walked into the kitchen.

"No, and we arnt going to tell him until he gets back from tour"

"Well I've never even talked to the guy, so don't worry I won't tell him" he said with a laugh as he sat at the island."Besides, I don't even like him"

"He's not bad, and that time when he was cheating I overreacted" I said going to the fridge

"Overreacted? He fucking cheated"

"I said he could, and besides we don't love each other"

"I still don't like him" Josh said shaking his head as I put a can of Pepsi in front of him and sat across from him at the island.

"He's caring though. I mean I sort of have been having mood swings and cravings and he has been doing everything to keep me happy and not yelling about foods I want."

"Don't you think he's going to be mad when he finds out your going to be a few months pregnant and didn't tell him?"

"Of course he's going to be mad, but I mean I don't even know if he wants it, I mean I know he told me our parents want us to have kids and he asked me if I wanted them, but I never asked if he did. I don't even know if he likes kids"

"Well you guys need to talk about it, I mean its going to be even harder raising this child together if you guys fight and don't want each other"

"I know" I said quietly" but when I have this baby, its going to have the best life. Me and John will learn to love each other for the child"

"That's good Addy, but how do you feel about having Johns child?"

"I don't want it" I said quietly.

"Why?"

"I'm only 18, I don't love my husband, my husbands in a band, and is going to be touring randomly all the time and we just arnt ready to have a baby. I mean I don't mind John being the father, its better that he is considering we're married."

"Well you and John are going to have to work this out, Addy I really think you need to call and tell him"

"No I can't do that, I know John, he'll leave tour, but the bands to important to him"

"Well his wife and child Arnt?"

"He's worked to hard to get to where he is now, I'm not going to let him throw it away for me. "

"Addy, that's so you, looking out for someone else's best interest" Josh said with a warm smile

"So tell me about Jessica" I said with a smile. Jessica was his most recent girlfriend.

~~~~

"Hey Addison" John said as soon as I answered my phone, not even giving me a chance to say hello.

"You know what I realized?"

"What's that?" he asked with a gentle laugh.

"You've never called me Addy, you always call me Addison" I said smiling.

"I like the name Addison" he said and I could tell me was smiling too on the other line.

"So how's tour?"

"Its great, we just played our first show and I loved it. I love the feeling I get on stage, you know?"

"Well I don't really know" I said with a laugh"but I get what your saying, I'm just glad your having fun"

"Addison you should have came" he said softly"It feels weird without you. I mean I've never been without you. For the past months we've been married, we haven't been apart for more then a day"

"I know, and maybe this is what we need, a little break"

"Is that why you didn't want to come?"

"No, I just like staying in one place"

"Alright"

"John, I'm tired I'm going to nap, okay?"

"Alright, sweet dreams darling"

"Thanks" I said with a little laugh.

"Bye Addison"

"Bye John"

I hung up the phone and just sort of dazed.

Would mine and Johns life change drastically when I had this baby? I knew one thing for sure, I wouldn't let John give up the band, tours, shows or let down his fans.

~~~

"Josh where are you?" I asked as I layed on the couch

A few minutes later he appeared with a cup of orange juice.
"Addy, I'm going to have to leave soon, me and Jessica are going out to eat, will you be okay?" he asked as he handed me my orange juice

"Ill be perfectly fine, and Josh, look, ill call you when I need you over, I mean I'm only a month a couple weeks pregnant. I have no pain or anything yet, and I'm not a whale that I can't get up"

"Addy, I promised you I would take care of you"

"And ill call you when I need to be taken care of" I said as I took a sip of my juice.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive"

"Alright, well then I'm going to go"

"Bye!"

He chuckled "Bye"

I placed my orange juice on the coffee table and layed back down on the couch.

I put my hand on my stomach and I couldn't believe I had a baby growing inside me. I then mentally reminded myself to get a doctor.

How was I going to tell my mom? I mean she would find out when John got back too, and I know she would get excited, but she would wonder why I hadn't told her about the baby either.

Then the house phone rang. I grumbled and got up off the couch with ease.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed the phone off the island

"Hello?"

"Hey Addison"

"Didn't you already call me today?" I asked with a little laugh

"Yes I know, but we only talked for a few minutes because you went to go nap. How was that by the way?"

I just laughed"it was peaceful"

"Well that's good"

"Don't you have anything to do?"

"Nah, we already played earlier today and we're just chilling, Pat says hi"

"Haha tell him I say hi and John?"

"Yea?"

"I do miss you"

After a few seconds he replied "I miss you too"

We didn't talk for a few seconds. I just held the phone to my ear listening to him breath as I traced the designs on the counter with my finger.

"I need to tell you something". He said and I stopped tracing the counter
"And what's that?"

"I've been talking to Daisy"

"Okay..." I said quietly

"No! I mean we're not together or anything, I promise, we're just friends"

"John, you didn't need to tell me that like it was a giant secret, you can talk and be friends with whoever you want"

"Your calmer then most days" he said with a little laugh

"I feel relaxed after my nap" I joked. just then I got the urge to puke "John I have to go" I said and just hung up the phone not waiting for his response.

I placed the phone on the counter and ran to the bathroom downstairs. No way would I even make it upstairs before I puked.

I lifted the seat quickly and heaved into the toilet.

I heard the phone ringing in the background and knew it was John calling back asking me what happened.

I just sat on the floor hovering over the toilet.

I hated this.

After I was done throwing up, I didn't move, I just stayed leaned over the toilet listening to the phone ring over and over again as tears slid down my cheeks.