Redemption

The sheets felt soft on my bare skin, a light breeze came from the open window where light filtered in. I felt strange, at peace, until I stretched out a bit and my foot hit something. I heard an exhale and the night flooded back into my mind.

’Wait,’ he breathed as I kissed his neck. I looked at him and I felt so strongly attracted to this man with messy brown hair and brown eyes that I had to hold myself back.

I saw him quickly take something off of his left hand ring finger and then his lips met with mine again.

He flipped me over, the weight of his body on top of mine sending shivers down my spine.

His soft lips kissed down to my belly button, then back up. Then the sensation I had felt numerous times came. Yes, Joe’s kiss was different but it would be a lie to say that this was different. The sex felt the same.

My hands got lost in his hair, my nails dug into his back making him groan in pain and pleasure.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice sounding so chipper that for an instant I thought that maybe we hadn’t had sex last night.

I sat up, my hair falling in my face as I clutched the sheets to my body. I stared at him, sitting at the edge of the bed wearing only his boxers. He had scratches on his back; I knew they were from me.

“Morning,” I said softly, keeping my eyes on him.

He smiled and I felt as if thought I was melting. Was it wrong to feel that way? Then his eyes flickered over to something on the floor. I leaned over and saw it, a ring. He was about to get it, but I grabbed it first. I held it in my hand, looking at it.

“Are you married?” I asked, my voice rising.

“No, no it is, well I guess was a purity ring,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head.

I gawked at him. He was a virgin until last night. Many things came to my mind at once, like how he could be so good and have been a virgin, then why he would give his virginity to me, then how I was already shameful to him but now, oh now it was a million times worse.

“You still want me to leave you alone don’t you?” I asked my voice low and steady.

“It wasn’t a mistake last night, I know it wasn’t but it’s just a person like you-“

“A person like me?” I cut him off.

“That’s not what I meant Mallory,” he said and moved closer to me and I instinctively shuddered away.

“Yes you did,” I looked at him straight in the eye.

He moved away and ran his fingers through his hair, a stressed sigh coming from his lips. In one swift movement he was standing up and pacing around the fancy hotel room.

“I still want to see you,” he said, more to himself than to me. “But my family can not know, they can’t know I broke my vow, they can’t know you are a stripper, they can’t.”

“I’m not a fan of being the secret fuck Joe,” I growled and he just ignored me.

“Let me see you, please,” he said, still not looking at me.

“We don’t even know each other. One night stand Joe, that’s it,” I said and I got up from the bed, still holding the sheets over my naked body.

“Well hello then,” he said, standing in front of me, blocking my path, “My name is Joseph Adam Jonas. My birthday is on August 15th, as you should know,” and he smirked and I tried to get past him.

“But anyway, I am twenty years old. I have three brothers. Kevin is the oldest, then me, then Nick, then Frankie. My parents are Denise and Paul Jonas. Kevin, Nick, and I are in a band called the Jonas Brothers. We make girls scream, kinda like I made you scream-“

“Shut the fuck up,” I said and began turning red.

“Well we are pretty famous, and part of that fame is in the fact that we all have, had, whatever purity rings but then for my twentieth birthday my gay friends took me to a strip club. There was this girl named Mallory there, she was pretty hott but had a stick up her butt and was probably the most annoying person I had ever talked to. I felt ashamed for being at the strip club, thought of what my brothers, parents would say so I tried to forget it, till one day I saw Ms. Mallory at church and thought my life was beginning to crumble. Thus I went to talk to her, ask her to leave me alone, stay away, let me live but while she was slapping me I realized something so I kissed her and next thing you know we had sex and woke up the next morning to a mess to try to sort out,” he said and took his purity ring out of my hand “Now you know me.”

“Great,” I said and once again tried to get past him, but he refused.

“Tell me about you,” he said with a smile and pleading look.

“Mallory Carmen Caraco, nineteen years old, birthday is June 23rd, born and raised in Manhattan with my father who beat me and my mother who did drugs and really never loved me. Lost my virginity at age 16, became a smoker, drinker, druggie but then quit cause for some reason I thought I was worth living a normal life. Thought wrong. Came her to LA, became a stripper, was living a pretty shitty life until it became even more shitter when this asshole guy named Joseph Adam Jonas came into it. Seeing him at the devils sanctuary, church that is, was God telling me that he hates me even more and then this Joe wouldn’t leave me alone until he got into an argument and had sex. Now here we are, the guy with the perfect life who is ashamed to have fucked a stripper and the girl with the horrible life who will fuck anyone,” I said with a fake smile and any happiness from his face left.

“I’m sorry.”

“Shitty answer, I don’t need your sympathy.”

“You should really try to control the language,” he said and a small smile returned to his face.

“I’ll control my fuckin language when you have to go through just a minute of my life.”

“Optimism is a good thing you know.”

“Thanks Dr. Phil,” I rolled my eyes.

“Just from what you told me and what I’ve seen I know you’re life is rough, but don’t you think it could be better?” he asked as he put his hand under my chin and had me look at him.

“No because no one loves a whore, and if you dare give me the ‘God does’ crap then I am going to leave.”

“Maybe you do need to come back to church,” he said and his eyes lit up again.

“You don’t want me there and I don’t want myself there.”

“I want you around me Mallory.”

“Just no one can know,” I said and took a step away from him.

“No.”

“Then I’m no interested.”

“Not yet at least,” he said as he looked down.

“What are you saying?”

“Give me time okay? Let me see you and eventually I will tell people. I am not ashamed of you Mallory, just of myself,” Joe said and came close to me.

“I don’t get into relationships Joe, just know that.”

“I’m not asking for a relationship, just time with you,” he said with a grin.

“Don’t get attached to me okay? Promise? And I won’t get attached to you okay? If we don’t get attached then maybe no one will have to know and you can go one with your life and I can go on with mine.”

“No attachments, promise,” he said, his voice serious.

“Good,” I said and I felt like smiling but the feeling was so unfamiliar that I just couldn’t.

His soft lips met mine and we were once again on the bed, rolling around in a state of bliss. We spent the whole day in that hotel room, and the whole night. We talked, we had sex, we had a ton of sex actually, but the times we talked were more special to me. I wasn’t getting attached, believe you me no way would I get attached, but I began thinking how easy it would be to become attached.