I Need Something More.

SOPHIA P.O.V:

“Hannah, sweetheart...”

“No!”

“Baby, you have to let go now.” Alex cooed.

“No!”

“Baby, let go now.” Alex tried again.

“No, I want to stay with Sophie.”

“Sweetheart, I’m going to visit you this weekend, I promise!” I smiled trying to convince Hannah, who was currently attached to my leg might I add, to listen to Alex.

“I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you. And I want daddy to stay too.” She continued, tears threatening to fall.

“Baby, we can’t. We have to go but we won’t be far.”

Hannah began to cry and her little arms clung to my leg even tighter. As I watched Hannah cry I felt a stinging sensation burn inside my chest. Poor baby, she didn’t want to leave, and I didn’t want her to go either. Recording ended an hour ago and the boys were all packed up and ready to leave for Butch Walker’s studio in Malibu tonight. Most of the guys already left, and here standing in the lobby of the studio was Alex, Rian, Hannah and I. I was just about to lock up the studio for the night when Hannah came running towards me and attached her little arms around my left leg. She hadn’t let go for that whole hour.

Tears kept staining Hannah’s rosy cheeks and the burning sensation within my chest became stronger. I couldn’t watch Hannah cry a second longer and not do anything so I picked her up, removing her from my leg. She didn’t resist, only locked her small arms around my neck while continuing to cry on my shoulder. I rubbed her back and cooed that everything would be okay to her. I didn’t know what to say or do, I just wanted Hannah to stop crying because it was breaking my heart.

I looked to Alex hoping he’d know what to do, but saw him with his head down pulling his hair. His face held a hard expression while he mumbled something to Rian and the expression he wore mimicked that of my own, uncertainty. It was at that moment I remembered; Alex may be Hannah’s father, but he was only a few months older than I was. How could I possibly expect him to just know what to do. I held Hannah a little tighter as I stoked her hair. Poor Han, I wish I knew how to make this better.

Hannah’s breathing calmed as did her crying, but she continued holding onto me just as tight.

“Sophie...” She began. “Y-you promised to be m-my mommy. Mommy’s don’t l-leave.”

My breath hitched in my throat the second the words escaped her mouth. My throat began to dry as it felt like there was a lump inside while the walls of my throat were closing. What am I supposed to say to that? I know I never really promised to be her ‘mom’ but I didn’t say no either back at Ketchup the first night. Now, I don’t know what to do, they can’t stay and I can’t go. I felt helpless, terrible, low and most of all ashamed. Ashamed that it is my fault Hannah was crying.

I held Hannah a little tighter and tried to form words, but they just kept coming out as short breaths. I started feeling my eyes swell and I bit my lip to stop myself from the imminent tears. Hannah continued to cry onto my shoulder and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I bit down hard on my lip to the point where I could almost taste blood and a tear fell blemishing my cheek.

“Hannah, I-I am so s-sorry.” I whispered as I tried my best to hide the tear that fell.

“I don’t want to go.” Hannah choked out in between little sobs. “I just want you to be my mommy.” Hannah finished as she clung to my shoulder. Her saying that made it so much harder to let her go.

I guess Alex saw me on the verge of crying because both he and Rian were at my sides trying to pull Hannah off delicately. Rian managed to get her off with little resistance as she clung onto him. I felt disgusting, Hannah crying was completely my fault, if I hadn’t gotten so close with her, it would be easier for her and the rest of the boys to leave. This was all my fault.

A couple fresh tears began to fall and I wiped them away quickly as Rian started walking to the doors cooing softly to Hannah’s frail frame in his arms. I fell back onto the lobby’s couch and held my face in hands as I sat there trying my best to stop tearing up. The couch shifted as I felt weight being applied beside me. I looked up from my hands as I felt two arms wrap around me.

“I’m sorry.” Alex whispered.

“W-why are you sorry, this is my fault.”

“Soph, don’t say that. It’s not.”

“Yes it is. I should have known better. I got too close to her, now she’s upset and crying. Oh god, now I’m crying.”

“Soph, she’ll be okay.”

“How do you know?”

“...Because she does this every time I leave for tour.” Alex sighed putting his down.

“I’m so sorry Alex.” I said sadly, knowing that he hated this feeling as much as I did.

“Like I said,” He breathed deeply. “It’s not your fault.”

“I just feel horrible, because as much as this is hurting me. I’m sure this is only a fraction of what you do when you leave for tour.”

Alex stayed quiet, with his head down but his arms remained around me as I held him closer. Alex lifted me with ease and placed me on his lap while we continued to hug. I could tell this was killing Alex as much as it was me. I had grown so close to both Alex and Hannah over these past eight weeks and just as quickly I had, they leave.

I pulled back from the hug a bit and ran my hands through Alex’s already messy hair, playing with it just a little. It was a habit I had grown accustom to. As weird as it sounds, I loved playing with Alex’s hair. I would mess it around even more than he already had it and curl the ends with my finger tips. I continued to play with Alex’s hair and a small smile began to tug on his lips.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He chuckled, lightening our mood.

“Alex, you’re looking at me funny. What is it?”

“I’m going to miss this... you.” Alex smiled, his arms never leaving my side.

“I-I’m going to miss you too.” I whispered back solemnly as I kept toying with the ends of his hair. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think...” I paused trying to search for the right words as I kept twiddling my fingers in his hair. “Hannah hates me?”

“Never Soph... she just,” He sighed. “She just doesn’t understand.”

I nodded knowing he wasn’t lying, he was speaking from personal experience. I stopped playing with the ends of his hair and pulled him into another hug. Rian reappeared at the doors holding a sleeping Hannah. It tore me in half to see her so upset and now not even get a chance to say goodbye. But maybe it was best if she left while she was sleeping, it would hurt less I’d imagine.

“Sorry,” Rian whispered referring to interrupting our moment. “But Alex, we should really go now.” He frowned.

“Yeah, I know.” Alex sighed dropping his arms after I did.

I stood up once Alex had let me go, and gave Rian one more hug. “I’ll see you this weekend okay? It only four days away.”

Rian nodded and held a tight smile on his face. I leaned forward and kissed Hannah’s forehead. I stoked her feathery blonde hair one last time as I mumbled, “See you soon sweetheart. Promise. ”

Rian and Hannah passed the front doors first leaving Alex and I to say goodbye quickly.

“I guess this is goodbye?” I frowned as I gnawed on my lip.

“No, it’s not, because that would imply that I wouldn’t see you again.” Alex forced a smile, before placing a kiss on my forehead as he held my hands.

“I’ll see you later Soph.” He finished as he kissed my cheek and reluctantly let go of my hands that fit so well in his.

“Bye Alex.”

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ALEX P.O.V:

It was now Sunday and Sophia was leaving in just a few hours. She drove down from LA to visit as promised and Hannah hadn’t left Sophia’s side since. I wasn’t sure when Sophia would visit next, or when we’d be able to visit her, so I decided to soak in the short time with her.

Hannah ran around chasing our tiny dog Sebastian on the beach just below Butch’s studio while Sophia wasn’t far behind. It was spring so we only hung out on the sand since the water would probably be too cold for Hannah. Sophia soon collapsed to the sand and Hannah soon followed, the two laughed as they sat up as Sophia cooed at Sebastian to come over and play. Kara, Rian’s girlfriend was on spring break and she flew out from Maryland to come visit and with a lot of begging, not only my part but Hannah’s as well, she brought Sebastian.

“Alex... Alex?”

“Huh...” I asked turning around to face who was calling me. Kara stood there with a grin on her face. “What?”

“I said, why are you lurking up here?” She laughed.

“I’m not lurking.”

“Umm, hovering up here and staring at Sophia while she doesn’t know kinda looks like lurking to me.”

“You know what Kara?” I paused as she raised her eyebrows. “Shut up.”

“Don’t worry Gaskarth, I won’t tell her you’re madly in love with her.”

“ I’m not madly in love with her!”I just like her. I shot back.

“Sure buddy...” She continued to laugh.

“Shut up Kara! And you wonder why I ignore you half the time.”

“Ouch.” She mocked placing a hand over her chest where her heart would be. “That one hurt.”

“Good.” I laughed before she punched me.

“So what are we doing up here? Let’s go down and join them lurker.”

“Fine.” I sighed. “Just don’t call me lurker.”

“Lurker!” Kara laughed before running down the steps and onto the sand.

I made my way down the steps eyeing the scene below. Kara scooped up Sebastian and joined Sophia and Hannah. The three girls smiled and laughed before Kara placed a calm Sebastian in Hannah’s lap. More words were exchanged between the girls before Sophia turned around and stood up smiling as she jogged towards me.

“I was wonder where you were.” She smiled her brilliant smile.

“We’ll I’m here now.”

“Good.” Sophia stated simply, with her smile continuing to dance on her face. She laced her hand within my own and we walked over to join Kara, Hannah and Sebastian.

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“So the Prince kissed Sleeping Beauty breaking the evil spell and awakening her. The two fell madly in love and lived happily ever after. The end.” Sophia read closing the book.

Sophia and I sat beside Hannah’s bed reading her her favourite story. Hannah fell asleep midway through the story but Sophia didn’t take note, she just kept reading. Both of us stood up silently hoping not to make a noise so that Hannah wouldn’t wake. I pulled the covers up and kissed Hannah’s forehead while Sophia mimicked the action.

“I guess I should get going now,” Sophia’s voice small as she fiddled with her purple tote bag she brought up for the weekend while I shut the bed room door behind us. “A new band is coming in to record tomorrow.”

“Right.” I led Sophia throughout the new house with my hand placed on the small of her back. Even though Hannah was more than thrilled to see Sophia kept her promise to visit, the weekend held a solemn feel. We all knew Sunday evening would come and Sophia would have to go back up to LA.

I led Sophia out through the back first since I knew she’d want to say goodbye to everyone. It was late evening, around 8pm I’d guess and the sun had just set leaving dusk to coat the sky. As we stepped out onto the deck the night air filled our lungs, the air was fresh and the smell of salt added a new sensation to the smell. Along the wooden deck over looking the beach was a patio set where everyone was playing poker.

“Soapie!” Jack called as he just lost another hand. He was never good at poker...

“Are you leaving now?” Zack asked as he collected his winning from the hand, his smile fading. At this point everyone turned to look at Sophia and I.

“Yeah, I have an early morning tomorrow. Plus, traffic should be okay if I leave now.”

“Bye Sophia!” Everyone called from the table standing up to smother her with hugs.

I held onto Sophia’s bag as I watched each of the guys make her promise text and call frequently and to try visit again.

“Bye Sophia.” Kara smiled giving her a hug. “It was really nice meeting you, and having another girl around.”

“It was nice meeting you too Kara. If you’re ever in town again, call me so we can get together.” Sophia beamed.

“Sure thing!” Kara smiled back brightly hugging Sophia again.

Sophia waved one last goodbye as I took her around to the front where the garage and her car was parked. Her hand found her way to my free one and laced her fingers with my own. Sophia dug out her car keys from her jean short pockets and placed it in the slot to open the door.

“Thanks for letting me stay with you guys this weekend.” She said holding a tight smile on her lips.

“Anything for you Soph.” I said looking down at our intertwined hands and I rubbed my thumb over her fingers.

“You’re such a charmer Alex.” She joked.

“Only for you.” I admitted, but knew she wouldn’t think anything of it.

“Thanks.” She giggled letting her tight smile fall into a real one. Sophia broke apart from my hand briefly as she opened the back door to her black Lexus hybrid and threw her tote bag in.

“I’m going to miss your jokes, even though most of them were perverse.” Sophia laughed lightly as she reattached our hands by playing with my own. Her small feminine hands felt incredibly soft in my calloused hands but she didn’t seem to mind, Sophia just continued to play with them as she avoided eye contact.

“Soph...”

“Yeah Alex?” She said with her eyes still fixed on our hands. I pulled my hands from hers pulling her into one last hug, not saying a word, because the three words I wanted to say would ruin this.

She sighed into my arms before speaking. “Alex, I’m really going to miss you. Promise me you’ll see me again before you leave?”

“Promise.” I breathed as she placed her arms around my neck pulling herself closer. I looked down at the perfection before me and inhaled deeply before letting go. Her arms fell from around my neck and I saw her eyes begin to pool with eminent tears before quickly look down again. She turned towards her car and I opened the door for her waiting for her to get it. Soph crawled in and pulled down her window.

“Bye Alex.” Her voice shaking slightly.

“I told you Soph. See you later.” I smiled tightly trying to cheer her up a bit.

“See you.” She corrected before I popped my head inside her car to kiss her forehead.

“Be careful.” I breathed after I let my lips linger on her skin.

“I will, I’ll call you when I get home to let you know I’m okay.” Her voice just as shaky as before.

I stepped away from the car and watched her reverse slowly down the driveway. When she was at the end of the driveway she paused for a minute and through the darkness of the night sky I saw her wave inside her car.

“Bye Soph,” I said lowly as she began to drive away. “I love you.”