I Do Not Hook Up

”Katy, Katy, Katy!” the crowd screamed waiting for me to appear onto the stage. Like I was something more than a simple human being. Fixed my dress before walking onto stage, it was too big since I was sick and couldn’t eat with my sore throat. Though there were a lot more behind that. On stage I could see me white rime stoned microphone and ran out to get it as my band began playing fingertips. I was in Denmark now, in a much bigger venue than the one in Stockholm. The amount of people screaming was enough to make my eardrums burst though it was a good thing that they didn’t. I began to sing, trying out my voice to see that it was getting better. It was but, no! No buts this is how it was supposed to be.

“It’s kind of lonely being on top when you don’t have anyone to share it with huh?” I had been sitting alone after the show in the lobby of the hotel we were staying it. Though now I had to speak since Nathaniel Motte from my supporting act 3OH!3 had seated himself next to me.

“What?” I hadn’t heard his question.

“I said: It’s kind of lonely being on top when you don’t have anyone to share it with?” he repeated and looked at me with concern. They were two very nice boys in 3OH!3, completely crazy but still wonderfully caring.

“Sometimes!” I said truthfully not knowing how to lie when it obviously was true.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be like that!” he putted his hand on mine in comfort and peaked at me through his brown long hair. In many ways was he attractive, not my type though since he wasn’t Travis.

“How do you mean?”

“I mean that, it is what you make of it!” he flashed his perfect teeth that would make anyone jealous.

“Yes, absolutely. It’s just that I haven’t been alone in such time it’s something that I got to get used to.”

“Well you don’t have to be alone tonight! Come on! The night it still young!” He stood up and began pulling me behind him.

“I should rest! So I can lose the cold!” I said as I followed him but he didn’t care said that I could rest when I was dead. It didn’t take him long to find an open nightclub and we were dancing on the dance floor. Laughing having fun and then he bought me a drink.

“Alcohol is loneliness best friend!” he screamed and drank his as quickly as he could and got another one.

“Just what I needed!”

“Nobody needs it, it’s just a thing to keep you occupied!” And then he pulled me back onto the floor as my song began to play in the speakers though nobody recognized me. It was nice, just being like everyone else jumping and singing along to the words. I couldn’t have pictured this night when I wrote the song.

I stumbled back into my hotel room three hours later drunk and more tired than ever. Alone again I picked my phone up and saw that nobody had called or texted me. Never had I felt more alone than I did then but I wasn’t allowing it to be like that. I pressed in the numbers I knew so well and pressed dial. I had no idea where he was less which time zone he was in all I knew was that I woke him up.

“Hello?” he said sleepy. His voice almost made me cry. I missed him so but I couldn’t tell him that. I couldn’t tell him anything at all my words was simply not working. “Katy?” As he spoke my name, I began to cry. Now he could probably hear me sobbing. “Katy? Is everything okay?”

“No!” I said like a little child. “Everything is not okay.”

“Then what is wrong?”

“I still love you!”