They Let Us Play With Markers, but I Keep Trying to Draw Infinity

~Randy's POV~

Frustrated, I blew the violet curtain violently from my eyes, where it been draping with the dampness of melted snow. “Leif, I’m going to kill you for this,” I muttered at the lock on his apartment door. I stuck my tongue between my teeth, jiggling the pick in the lock. Eventually it clicked and I opened the door with a grin.

When I stood up, I noticed that a little old lady letting herself into her apartment across the hall was staring at me with an open mouth and an armful of groceries. “Oh, don’ worreh,” I said, slurring into a Sheffield accent. “I’m ‘is sister.”

I rushed myself into Leif’s apartment, shut the door, and breathed a sigh of relief. “Leif!” I shouted, eyes shutting. Then I waited, listening. No yell or greeting.

I shrugged off my coat and walked in and out of the kitchen. In the hallway I noticed the sound of his shower running. Crossing my arms and leaning against the back of the couch, I sang sweetly, “Oh, Leif darling! I hope you come out of the shower just in a towel so I can rip it off and take advantage of you!”

Nothing. “Damn, he’s got a loud shower,” I muttered, going into the kitchen and stealing a bottle of juice. When I finished it, the sound hadn’t ceased, so I hoisted myself off the couch and grabbed his guitar before returning to my seat and playing whatever came to mind.

A few minutes later the bathroom door opened and Leif stepped out. Leaning against the arm of the couch, I turned my head and grinned. “Hello.”

Leif jumped, letting out a yelp. I snickered, raising the bottle to my lips, while he pressed a hand to his heart. “Bloody hell, woman, are you trying to kill me?” He adjusted the towel around his waist. “How’d you get in?”

“Lock pick. You’re making me a key, by the way.” I smiled, admiring the vivid sleeve and a half of tattoos running down his arms. “Do you always walk around in your apartment without clothes?”

He grinned. “Should I expect you to break into my flat more often on the chance that I’m takin’ a shower?”

I rolled my eyes. “How about you go put on clothes and we get lunch?”

“Where are the others?” Leif called from his bedroom as he was getting dressed.

I replaced his guitar on the stand and meandered around the room. “Jacob’s got work, Leo is visiting his mom, and darling Toby is the only one among us with the social skills to have a girlfriend.

Feet pausing, I noticed a strange figurine perched atop the television: a porcelain fish, about the size of an orange, with a gape of a mouth that implied it had asphyxiated during creation, eyes that bulged to the point of bursting, and tiny raised scales painted blue. I hefted it up with three fingers and examined it as I turned it.

Leif emerged from the depths of his bedroom with a derby, probably with more years under its band than he had, over the dark jungle growing out of his head, and I frowned over my shoulder. “What the hell is this?” I asked with a laugh.

He sighed, finishing with the buttons of his shirt. “Family heirloom from my great-gran,” he explained. “I think Mum hoped it’d get broken in the mail.”

With a shrug, I replaced it and crossed to the door. “Why don’t you just throw it against the wall? She won’t know; she’s in Sheffield. Or you could take a sledgehammer to it. Or take it skeet-shooting.”

With a chuckle, Leif unwound the scarf from my neck as I struggled to put on my coat. “Quite the imagination you have there,” he complimented, opening the door.

Out in the hallway, I danced around a bit to prepare myself for the cold while Leif locked up. When I turned back to him, he was watching me with a strange little half-smile. “Stop staring at my ass,” I ordered dryly, heading down the hall.

“What are you talking about?” he exclaimed in mock innocence. “You, my dear Randy, have the bum of a twelve year-old boy.” And to emphasize this point, he decided to wind up and smack my apparent lack of ass.

I jumped half a foot and glared at him, but noticed that the lady across the hall had popped her head out and caught the last part, if not the whole exchange. I plastered on a glittering, toothy smile. “Sister!” I reminded cheekily. With a glower, she ducked back into her apartment, slamming the door. I narrowed my eyes at Leif, and he sent me a dazzling smile in return.

“So, Leif,” I said as we poked around at our food. Well, I say “we” but I mean “I” since Leif has a black hole for a stomach. As usual, our waitress had thought Leif was the hottest thing since Mount Vesuvius and we’d (coughHE’Dcough) gotten phenomenal service. One day it’d be for a reason other than just him being hot.

“So, lovely Amarrrrr—Randy,” he corrected, slurring his way into a charming grin when he saw the death glare I was giving him.

I picked up my soda and took a sip. “I will kill you.”

“I know, love.”

“So, why didn’t you tell me you were covered in tattoos?”

Leif looked at the ceiling in thought as he chewed. Then he shrugged. “Dunno. It’s winter. And not all of us strip down to our knickers during practice.” He winked.

I rolled my eyes. “That basement is really hot and drumming is sweaty work, alright?” I argued. “And my merch shorts are not knickers.” He nodded, unconvinced. “So. Tattoos.”

“Why are you so interested?” he asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at me.

I smiled, leaning onto the table. “Would you believe me if I told you tattoos really turn me on?” His eyes widened and the fork on its way to his mouth stopped. I waited until a grin began to crawl back onto his lips before smirking. “Sucker.”

“Bullocks!” He smacked a hand on the table and then pouted at me. “You lied to me? I’m hurt.”

“You will never know for sure,” I promised ominously. “But, I would like to photograph you for my class, if that’s alright. You’d be sure to get me a good grade.” I smiled brightly at him.

Leif blinked, not moving for a few seconds, which was a feat for him. “I’m getting mixed signals here,” he admitted. I winked audaciously and stole the hat off his head. "'Ey!”

“Mine now.” I set it on my head and ruffled up his hair.

He stuck his tongue out at me, which I returned, and we went back to eating. A few minutes later, he said, “Isn’t that Josey and… wussizname? Travis? Christian! No…”

“Tristan,” I corrected, slowly turning my head to look behind me. Sure enough, at a table on the other side of the restaurant sat Josey and Tristan, appearing to be able a lot of awkward conversation and not much eye contact. I groaned, letting my face fall into my hands. “Of all the places, why did they have to come here on their date?”

“Finally.” I furrowed my eyebrows at Leif, who shrugged as he sipped his drink. “He obviously fancies her. I saw ‘em together once and I know that.”

“Well look at you, Mister Intuitive Romantic.”

Even before the words left my mouth, Leif’s usual mischievous grin replaced itself on his face. “Let’s go mess with them,” he whispered, eyes glinting.

I laughed, signalling our waitress for the check. “No, we can’t do that!” I thought about it for a second and turned back around to consider them. Leif’s grin got wider as he nodded encouragingly. “…No.”

He pouted, lip ring poking out. I arched an eyebrow at him, both of us knowing full well that his sad face had no effect on me. After a moment he dropped it. “Fine. We’ll cover Leo in silly string next time he falls asleep.”

“Deal.” We each put our money on the table, leaving enough for a decent tip. “How do we sneak past them without them noticing us?”

Leif frowned, thinking. Then he got up, and I followed suit. “Just go with it, alright?” I shrugged, and he grabbed me by the hips, tugging me up against him. I snickered but turned it into a giggle and pretended to mutter sweet (or spicy) nothings in his ear as we strolled out, his hand in my back pocket.

He couldn’t resist winking at our waitress as we passed though. She looked properly ambivalent about it now that she “knew” Leif had a “girlfriend.” I glanced back at Josey and Tristan through the window once we were out; neither seemed to have noticed.

That said, I elbowed Leif away from me once we were out of sight. “No touchy!”

He chuckled and continued to stroll along, apparently ignoring that it had begun to snow. I huddled deeper into my coat, thinking jealously of my scarf around his neck, and tried to do the same.

“Oi!”

I stopped, twisting around when I realised that Leif had stopped fifteen feet back to light a cigarette. He seemed to be having trouble, from the wrinkle in his brow.

I retraced my steps and snatched the cheap, plastic lighter from his trembling hands, holding the flame to the tip of the paper until it flared. “Cheers,” he declared, taking the lighter back. “I cannot b’lieve Mikey’s gay!” I raised an eyebrow at him. That was a sudden, random switch. “Why wouldn’t ‘e tell us?”

“Because our sexual orientations comes up all the time in casual conversation,” I pointed out wryly, rolling my eyes at him. He frowned, discouraged that I wasn’t support him in his rambling. “Anyway, what does it matter? It doesn’t affect you.”

“Yes, it does! ‘Ow am I supposed to relax around ‘im if in th’back o’ my mind I’m wondering if ‘e’s on the pull and I’m the target?!”

I sighed in annoyance. “You’re not one to talk, Leif. You’ll hit on anything that’s female and breathing. And I know,” I cut him off as he opened his mouth, “Girls flock to you, because you are so damn charming.” Leif smiled. “But to be honest, man, you sound like a hypocrite and a homophobe.”

The smile that had appeared at my compliment slid away, and Leif looked genuinely offended. “I am not! I’ll have you know my brother is gay, and I’ve supported ‘im ‘is ‘ole life!”

“But it’s different with Mikey?”

“Well.” He took a long moment for contemplation. “My brother’s camp. Mike’s more… scatological.”

I smirked in spite of myself. “You mean obscene?” Leif and his big words.

“Yeh.” Leif grinned over at me and I shook my head, looking away and absorbing myself in the snow. “You don’t seem surprised.”

“I’m not,” I replied simply. “I knew.”

His jaw dropped. “You wot?”

“He told me.”

Leif stopped walking and grabbed my arm to stop me too, eyes all big and shocked. “He told you? Why did he tell you?!”

I shrugged his hand off my arm and laughed at the ridiculousness of his reaction. “Because he thought I had a crush on him,” I explained casually, “And that I was taking his jokes seriously. Besides I’d already figure it out. Checking out guys is a big hint.”

Leif still gaped at me for a few seconds before I snickered and rolled my eyes. “Come on, dude, I’m freezing my ass off out here.” I pulled him along down the sidewalk, covertly using him as a heater under the guise of being pushy.

No matter what Josey tells you, I’m really quite shy.

When we reached my car, I rushed into the driver’s seat and turned up the heater before doing anything else. “It’s not inconceivable,” Leif muttered a little sullenly after he buckled up. I arched an eyebrow at him, staring out the front windshield. “Blokes have thought me fit before.”

I snorted, glanced over my shoulder, and pulled out of the parking space. “Whatever, Casanova,” I said.