Blinded

I’ve begun picking at my shoe instead of my thumbnail. My shoelaces are flossed at the ends by now. The little pieces of plastic at the end have been ripped off and thrown across the room – discarded for someone else to pick up and throw out into a trashcan that they can see.
It’s dark.
Or at least it should be. It is for me, but it should be for everyone else too.
For once I’m actually not the only one who’s blind. Three guys are right now lying in their bunks with their eyes closed – blind to what’s happening in the real world.
It makes me feel a little better.
But one is missing. And one is what I’m waiting for – who I’m waiting for.
Another thread falls off my shoelace and I roll it up and toss it away.
I’m waiting – waiting for that one person who chooses to leave when his best friend needs all the support in the world. I’m waiting for the selfish little bastard who calls himself a friend.
Or whom I call a friend – the best.
That selfish little asshole. He thinks he’s all good and sweet and innocent, when he’s really the one to blame for all of this!
Wait, what? Did I…? I-

I look over at him. He’s so focused. His guitar is more interesting than anything else. He should know better.
I grab the bottle of water and screw the cap off before throwing the little piece of plastic out into the crowd. Some fan girl is probably having a field day.
I know how to get people’s attention.

I didn’t. No. Never. That’s not why!
No.

No.

No.

Suddenly the door opens and footsteps trudge up the stairs. The door closes and the footsteps continue.
They scrape across the carpet and come to a sudden hold.
And then there’s silence – complete and utter silence. I can’t even hear a breathing besides my own. I can’t hear a heartbeat besides my own – the rush of blood pounding in my ears as the silence of the room deafens me.
And then the footsteps continue – trudging over the carpet as if walking is a sin that should be committed. As if it’s a rule that should be broken.
And I know it’s him. He’s the rule-breaker.
And so am I.
I broke the only rule I had.
Don’t mix business with pleasure.