Just Hate Me and We'll End It Here

Bailey

My throat constricts a little, but I shake it off, shifting in my seat. “Oh, look,” I try to bring in some feigned excitement, practically interrupting whatever he just started to say. “We’re here.”

I watch his eyes skim the area, and as though he’s nodding to himself, he bites his bottom lip, which turns it redder and concentrates maneuvering through the parking lot. A lock of his brunette hair falls in front of his face, but it’s as though he doesn’t even notice it. That’s when I realize I’m staring and taking a sharp intake of breath, I turn away, swallowing hard and somewhat confused with myself.

“You okay?”

I glance, blinking at him. “Yeah, of course,” I mutter and put my hand on the door.

“NO!” It nearly makes me jump in surprise, completely not expecting it. In my shock, Alex scrambles out of his seat and around to open the door for me. “There you go,” he grins impishly, letting me out.

“Oh…” After a moment of standing there, I fumble with my jacket. “Uh, thanks,” I murmur and step away a little, so he can shut the door and everything.

He nods. “You ready? And keep an eye out for everyone. Oh, and don’t be surprised if you ever see Jack doing anything… odd, okay?”

“Okay…” I trail off, giving him an odd look but I shrug it off.

It’s tense as we walk through the parking lot. He’s trying to polite and I’m keeping my distance while I’m trying not to be too rude. The awkwardness lasts until we reach the ticket stand and we find everyone waiting for us.

“And what were you two lovebirds up to?” Rian wiggles his eyebrows.

“Mmm… guess,” Alex tells them.

“Okay-”

“Or don’t,” I interrupt. I think, when I said that, it was implied with a little humor and not to be too rude- I guess… I don’t know. But it didn’t work and it left everyone in an awkward uneasy silence. Frowning, I look down and scuff my shoes, frustrated. I didn’t want people ‘guessing’ at things that didn’t happen- because I didn’t plan to ever let ‘anything’ happen. My hands form in fists by my side.

“Oh, so nobody bought their tickets yet? Creeps,” Alex fixes the silence casually. “Well we’re cutting in line, suckers!” He smirks, and grabbing my wrist he drags me forward into the line; there might be about five people ahead.

Mumbling, everyone trails behind and I glance back, seeing Missy give me a look. I shrug helplessly and then realize Alex still has my wrist. He catches my eye. “Oh, look, a wrist,” he grins and wraps his hands around my hand, fiddling with it.

I try to tug free. “It’s mine,” I remind him.

“But I wanted another,” he pouts.

“Three hands?” I wrinkle my nose.

“And arm,” he winks and raises one hand to start tickling my arm.

“Don’t think about it,” I warn him, still tugging weakly at my arm.

He shrugs and we automatically step forward at the same time, seeing the line’s gotten a little shorter. My heart begins hammering loudly as, from the corner of my eye, I watch Alex start prodding at my still closed fist. Slowly, he unfurls finger by finger, until I’ve got an open palm and then with his pinky, he slowly starts making little circles all around. It sends a shiver down my spine- and it scares me that I actually enjoy it. As he does that, every few minutes we take a few steps forward together, closer to the booth- I keep nervously glancing up at him, but he seems so focused on my hand.

“Hi! How can I help?” The guy sighs at the ticket booth, interrupting both of our focuses.

I swallow and slip my hand away as Alex is caught in surprise and then sheepishly smiles. “Oh, hey, man. Uh… yeah. Two tickets? Or, wait…” he glances up at the sign, scratching his head. “Aha! We’ll take the two ‘ultimate’ passes for ‘ultimate’ rides,” he says with a sardonic smile.

“That’ll be fifty dollars and eighty-five cents.”

“We don’t need those passes,” I mutter.

“I got the cash,” he reminds me. “And I like rides! Its best when it’s already paid for and it gets annoying, having to figure out which rides ahead of time, kay?” He pays and then we receive the two paper bracelets. Done, we shift out of line so the rest of our group can get their passes.

“So… what do you want to do first?” Alex offers after a minute of bored silence. “What’s your favorite ride?”

My arms are crossed as I watch the other couples- Rian’s girlfriend arrived. I hadn’t realized she was so short, but she’s pretty and her name is Brittany. My mind comes back to Alex’s question. Glancing at him, I reply. “Never been to a carnival. I wouldn’t know.”

Next time I look, his mouth is hanging open in shock.

“Are you trying to catch bugs?” I shift feet uneasily. “At least stop staring at me, for goodness sakes! It’s rude- and annoying,” I add.

“You- but… everyone goes to carnivals! What about amusement parks?”

I shrug a no. “Nada.”

This brings Alex into a protesting rant how it’s so unbelievable that I’ve never ever been on any rides or anything. I stare at him as he finally takes a deep breath, calming down. Then he suddenly grins. “Then it’s a good thing I got the passes! We’re going on all the rides!” He smirks.

My nose scrunches up. “That’ll take forever.”

“We’ve got all night, hon.”

I stare at him then shaking my head, I just don’t bother with a response.

“Hey… Bailey?” Alex asks hesitantly after a minute. I look up at him and watch as he mentally tries to figure out what he’s planning to say next. “I- I just…” he thinks for another moment. “Is this you? Really you?”

I open my mouth. “Who else-” then I realize what he means, and I cut myself off, frowning. “I’m… not anything else, if that’s what you’re saying.”

“No- but… it’s an act,” he tries to say, frustrated.

“Act?” I look at him hard. “I don’t act, Alex. This is me. Get used to it. And it’s not like I asked you to stick around or anything, okay?” I snap and with a huff, I watch as everyone else crowds over to talk out their plans.

Finally, the plan’s to grab a quick bite together, and split up for a few hours, then meet up for a treat again, not much in all. Chatting away, everyone forms into a mob and talks. Missy marches straight to me, hooking arms. “Well?” She presses. “Something wrong?”

“Other than being pressured into this stupid thing?” I ask bitterly.

“Is it really this bad?” She pleads. “Come on, it can’t be. Tonight’s supposed to be fun! Alex isn’t that awful, right?”

I glare at the ground before glancing to make sure no one’s in earshot. “No… but that’s the problem.”

“Why?” She cocks her head, not understanding.

“People leave. They hurt. And die,” I say bluntly, and then look at her. “I don’t want to go through any of that again.”

Missy sighs, running a hand through her hair. “Oh, come on. Not everyone’s like that. My parents never had problems,” she offers. “And I’m not leaving. Life isn’t that bad. That phase has gone, Bay. It’s good, now. Why can’t you accept that?”

The words run around in my mind as I search for an answer. Finally, just as we’re reaching the benches, I find one, and look at my only and best friend. “I don’t know how to.” Sighing, I step away and join the line, buying some fries and a soda, not needing anything else.

Soon I find I’m standing just inside the park, watching everyone leave- with Alex next to me. He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, turning to me. “So… what first?”

I just shrug. “Doesn’t matter,” I sigh. “Whatever. You choose.”

For a minute, he just looks at me through narrowed eyes. But after a minute, he lets it go. “Okay. Let’s go on the twirly thing!” He grins happily, the bipolar kid that he is. From there, he leads me through several of the fastest rides.

“No.” I say adamantly, staring at what he’s just shown me. “Not on your life. Heck, not on my life. Not on Abraham Lincoln’s life. Not on the president’s life. Not on-”

“Fine,” Alex pouts, staring at the Tunnel of Love ride. “Then… oh, ferris wheel!”

Those two words bring a chill up my spine and I freeze. “No, not that either.”

“What?” He turns back, frowning. “That’s not fair! You’ve gone all every ride so far, and you suddenly say no to two in a row?”

“Fine, I’ll take the Tunnel of Love,” I grit my teeth. “But I’m not getting on that stupid, stupid Ferris Wheel.”

He blinks. “Ferris Wheel, here we come!” He sings, and grabbing my forearm, practically drags me all the way into the line. “It’s not that bad,” he assures me. “And it’s pretty, seeing the city lights. And it’s not dangerous.”

“You’re dangerous,” I point out.

“Cause I’m so darn sexy?”

“No. Cause you’re so darn stupid.”

“You use the word ‘stupid’ a lot, you know?”

“You’ll get over it.”

“Tickets?”

“Passes,” Alex smirks and taking my wrist, drags me on to the seat. He slides in after me, blocking my escape.

“Wait-” I turn to get off, but the bar is down and we’re already going up. I let out a deep frustrated breath, gripping my hands tightly on the bar in front of me. “I. Am. Going. To Murder. You.”

“Aw, that’s no fun. How about something else?” He offers with a grin.