Just Hate Me and We'll End It Here

Bailey

These girls? Three. At a sleepover.

I might kill myself.

“No,” I repeat for the sixth time- I’ve been counting. “No, there’s nooo way I’m doing my nails in that color!”

“This or this.” This is a neon pink that Brittany reveals, grinning delightedly at me. I think she’s got a secret job, working with the mafia or something and torturing them…

Looking at Gab and Missy, I think they’re her assistants. I glare at the lot of them, trying to recall who’s idea it was to do makeovers. After trying to figure it out, I can’t and I sigh. Then I stare hard at the two nail polishes.

Go-Go Party Pink

Or….

Sexy Midnight Ruby

Commonly known as really bright pink, or dark red. Duh. What’s with people trying to make them sound better with giving them stupid names? Hello, it’s just nail polish. The stuff I use is just called black or silver. Cause that’s what they look like. Jeez…

“Find… the stupid red,” I relent before they choose for me- and we all know they’d do the pink.

Laughing at my expression, Brittany grabs my hand and starts painting on them. “So, how long’ve you known Alex?” She offers as the two girls leave for the kitchen for more snacks. “I was out of town and when I got back, you were suddenly there,” she grins.

I shrug. “A week? Two? No idea…”

“Fast? I like,” she jokes. “Alex is quite… the eh, charmer, eh?”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to call him that,” I wrinkle my nose. “Unless you want him charming snakes…”

She blinks. “And I thought I was the weird one,” she snickers after a minute. “You know, I was like that a while ago,” she mumbles absently. “You know, independent, thinking I was strong and could do it alone. That I didn’t need anyone.”

I shift uneasily. “Was?” I repeat, a little confused. I mean, okay- so she’s right, and I do think that. But I also know it’s possible, living a life like it.

Brittany nods, blowing on my nails. “Yep! Then I figured, that it wasn’t the life I wanted. I wanted something more… like someone to be with. Like Rian,” she adds with a grin. “So… I had to choose one. My pride, or Rian.”

“But that’s not pride… and you can have both,” I feel the need to argue my side.

“Sure,” she rolls her eyes. “But that’s like… having a tiny bit of chocolate, and a tiny bit of vanilla- both really good, but not enough to live off. So… you know. Gotta choose what you want more in the long run.” She jumps up, patting my head. “Now I need to find that henna tattoo kit. You’d look sooo cool with one on your neck!” Laughing randomly, she heads off.

Feeling somewhat exhausted, I lean back against the couch with a slight yawn. I swear, they are all very, very crazy… Shifting to be more comfortable, I stare at the red nail polish as it dries, my mind helplessly running over what she said.

But it’s absurd. Right? I’m not like that or anything, of course not. After all, it’s not like she’s had the life I’ve had to go through. All that emotional wreckage, the messed up feelings and tears and all the crap I’ve had to go through. I recall the decision I had formed a while back- love just wasn’t worth it.

I had yet, in my twenty years, to find anything worth going through for love. No, in fact- the only example of love I’d ever seen was in the movies. And we all know those are full of bull, so you can’t honestly count those. Therefore revealing that there was no reason to even try loving or anything.

Derrick unfortunately comes to mind and I frown, glaring at my nails now. That little scumming two-faced- but no, he’s not even worth the title of any of the insults roaming in my mind.

I had considered loving him… but it hadn’t ever come up. Mostly, he was just around for company, I suppose. Call me cold-hearted, but he was a decent guy. We hadn’t been looking for anything serious. Just the occasional making out, and needing a date whenever. A drinking buddy, someone to play games, exercise, and go around town with. Someone to hang around and make out with- after all, he did have great lips. A friend with privileges but we never talked about anything serious. Maybe that’s what went wrong in the end, I guess- I refused to move on anymore with him and he was getting fed up with it.

Jerk. Couldn’t be happy with whatever he had.

“I found it!” Brittany sings, trotting back. “Oh, and if you hear something in the kitchen, ignore it. Apparently Gabriela thought it’s okay to toss huge garlic chunks and really stale croutons down your drain. Guess it’s a good thing you’re moving out in the morning, eh?” She grins, plopping down.

Sighing, I glance at the kitchen. “Firstly, whoever breaks the sink will pay for it. Secondly, if those garlic chunks come out you all better duck. And three, why did you have to remind me?”

“Sorry,” but she just smiles at me, unabashed. “So, what do you think? Once I got a Chinese symbol on my neck, but Rian kept teasing me that it probably said something stupid like McDonalds so I try not to do symbols.”

I glance at her then at the little collection of pictures, seeing what sound cool. Which all look pretty neat… it comes to mind that I had considered getting a tattoo. Maybe it would be best to try one of these first, then see how I like it… “How many can I do?” I ask curiously.

“I’d say all of them and you might as well cover your body,” she starts, “but I’d really rather not, if you get my meaning.”

“You’re odd,” I glance at her, flipping through.

“I know,” she beams and quietly waits for me to pick.

“How long will they last?” I ask randomly, blowing on my nails. Almost dry, thank goodness. I think I got some on the pages… oh well.

“This is a longer lasting kit thing, so at least a month, maybe more. Almost done?” She asks, pulling out the pens and inks.

“Yeah… these,” and I show her the pages. “These flowers on my leg, but there’s a lot there, so maybe take one or two off? And this would look cool on my right shoulder. Then a little something for my hand, and I thought the dragon would look cool on my arm. I was also thinking of maybe a word or two on the back of my neck?” I suggest.

“Coolio!” She nods. “And I know just what to do,” she winks. “Oh, girlies!” She suddenly yells for the others who I can hear arguing and laughing. “Leave the stupid sink alone and lets watch a movie or something!”

“Why did they even have garlic out?” I suddenly recall and ask her.

“It’s Gabriela,” Brit snorts. “We’ll never figure it out. Best to just move on and party like the sun’s going down.” She shrugs and cheers as the girls come in, carrying several bags of chips, cookies and some soda liters.

Brit apparently is the only one capable of doing this, so by leaving on one light close by, we start the movie and she starts on my henna tattoos. It’s sort of itchy, but also cool and a little wet. But in all, I guess I don’t mind. Before the movie’s close to half over, I have my leg covered in the flowers, my hand has the little trail, and she’s done something small below my right ear. The flower on my shoulder takes up some space, so I have to adjust my shirt a bit before she can get started. The movie goes on though the girls keep talking and for some reason they have lots of fun playing with my hair- apparently cause it’s dark, shiny, smooth, soft, smells good and is simply perfect.

I stand by the fact that they are crazy.

But pretty cool, I admit… They all have their own lives and wacky stories to share. We practically forget to sleep until we realize it’s nearly four in the morning. Laughing- yes, it’s possible for me to laugh with others- we finally lay down on all the blankets and fall asleep.