Just Hate Me and We'll End It Here

Alex

“Hey,” she interrupts my rant. I pause and glance at her in surprise. “It’s fine,” she says in a loud voice. “Get over it already, seriously. You’re…” she swallows. “You’re a good guy,” she mutters. “So… yeah.”

I almost smiles. She sucks at pep talks.

But it’s cute.

I sigh. “Thanks,” I tell her, bringing my head up.

Almost mirror image, she does the same. “No problem,” and I think she blushes.

I love that.

Heck, I love it all.

Her eyes are still probing mine as I study hers. It’s quiet in the dim light, and comfortable between us. I don’t have to glance down, because I already know how close her right hand is.

In one moment, I gently cover her hand, bringing it up to kiss it softly on my lips. She has the softest hand, and it’s like a light color of honey. I look up and Bailey’s just looking at me in slight surprise.

I take the chance to cup her face in my free hand, and lean forward so that our lips meet. It’s the gentlest kiss I’ve ever given, and it’s definitely the best. I consider drawing back and leaving, but there’s no turning back now.

She hasn’t protested. I glance at her eyes then again at her lips as though asking permission. She gives a slight intake of breath and I take that as permission granted, carefully placing my lips onto her smooth ruby red ones.

Bay doesn’t protest, but she doesn’t seem to react for the longest time as I helplessly but addictedly touch my lips to hers a couple of times. Finally, though, she leans forward, ever so slightly, and returns the light kiss.

“You’re so beautiful,” I murmur, lightly squeezing her hand before letting go and running my hands through her beautiful thick dark hair. I use her neck and pull her closer. She willingly complies, murmuring something softly between the kisses.

I fall onto my back, bringing her with me. Her hair is loose and falls around me like a curtain, resting beautifully as always. I wrap one hand around her waist, loving the small size of it, how my hand seems perfect right there.

She’s wrapped her arms around my neck but slowly untangles them when I fall back, and they lightly trace the corners of my shoulder, neck, face and hair, tickling and delighting my skin. Definitely wanting more and more.

My hand crawls farther up, resting on the small of her back and finally it touches soft, silky bare skin. Slowly my fingertip crawls over it, creating tiny little circles. She gives a small intake of breath, and pulls back after a minute, looking at me stunned.

An uneasy silence falls and I wonder if I did something wrong.

“A- are we going too far? I’m sorry, I just-”

Bailey slowly shakes her head, biting her lip. After a minute, she finds her voice and clears it quietly. “I… it’s okay,” she mumbles. “I’m just… not… ready,” her voice falters unsurely as she slowly sits up, tugging at her hair.

I sit up, too and shrug. “Hey, it’s okay,” I whisper. “It’s not your fault.” I pause and have a fleeting worry she’ll suddenly yell at me or something. Finally, though, when she just looks at me, tugging her hair, I sigh. “I should… go.”

Standing, I run a hand through my hair and start forward.

“Wait.”

I pause, but I’m not sure if I heard her. My imagination, maybe? Cause usually she wouldn’t… or doesn’t… I glance back, tugging at my lip. She swallows and glances at me shyly. “You… you can… stay, if you want,” she stutters softly.

Slowly her comment sinks in.

“Are you sure?” I ask carefully. I hope she’s not high or drunk. I know she can’t be, right? But I’m not complaining, if I can be close to her, I think. And the evening is so… serene, odd as that is. It’ just… pure, I guess. Like the kisses were. I don’t really want anything to interrupt what we just had.

Bay bites her lip and gives a small jerky nod.

“O-okay,” I nod, trying not to act too eager.

Shyly, she scoots over across the bed, playing with her hair. I timidly shrug off all my clothes but my boxers after turning off the light. Quietly I pull back the covers and let her climb in first. Hesitantly, I follow.

A few minutes tick by, and she barely moves. I worry that she’s regretting her decision, and try to give her as much space needed. But knowing she’s so close, I can’t even consider falling asleep.

Finally I feel her shift under the covers, and she’s putting her back to me. The light from the moon glimmers and I see that she wraps her arms around herself. After a minute, she shivers and I realize she’s cold.

Should I? Could I? Can I?

I want to…

Swallowing, I scoot a little closer, and carefully grab her from behind, by her shoulders. Bailey freezes up, and I make some quiet soothing sounds and start rubbing her arms a little, hoping that helps.

Eventually, I think it does. Her arms fall to the pillow and she sighs. But after a minute, she’s still not breathing rhythmically, like she does when she’s asleep. I think she’s still slightly cold. The blankets have fallen off her upper half and I can see the goose bumps on her arms.

Hoping this works, I close my eyes and pull her even closer, wrapping my arms around her and resting my chin between her neck and collarbone. I hear her give a sharp intake of breath and hold it for a minute before finally releasing. I feel her swallow and shift a little, but she doesn’t try to escape.

In fact, she scoots a little closer and gives another small sigh. Minutes later, she’s fast asleep and I think I feel her heart beating. It’s by far the most intense thing I’ve ever heard, ever felt… I give my own small sigh of happiness. Since I’d woken up in her house, I hadn’t thought it would finally come to this. But heck, I’m glad it did. Might be momentary, but I’m definitely going to hold on as long as it lasts.

I’m finally holding the girl of my dreams…