Just Hate Me and We'll End It Here

Bailey

I blink slowly as Alex finally pulls away from our soft make-out session. I take a deep breath, just looking into his mesmerizing eyes. My tongue absently runs over my slightly swollen lips as Alex grins a little at me, as though we’re sharing a silent conversation.

Hesitantly I return the smile a bit shyly and Alex climbs off me, and proceeds to help me up. “You good?” He says. “Okay?”

I nod, fixing my dress a little. “Yeah, thanks. Just really wet, still. How about you?” I add after an awkward silence, trying to be a bit nicer at the moment.

“Same,” he chuckles. “Body heat!” He sings and wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to his side. After a minute, I wrap my arms around his waist, and we start walking again after he collects his shoes.

“So…” he says after we reach the top of the hill. “You might hate me for this, but… my mom wants some girl time tomorrow.” He smiles sympathetically. “I just remembered… though I did tell her she could only have you for two hours, even though she wanted the whole day. You won’t kill any of us, will you?”

I laugh a little, looking down, and though I hate this news, I’m still feeling pretty happy and cheerful- aside from the wet chill, of course. I just tell myself not to let this dampen my mood just yet. “Well, I guess not,” I start with a slight smile. “Then, um, thanks, I guess, for shortening the time,” I add. “Cause I might kill her if I were alone with her any longer than that,” I confess.

“I don’t really blame you,” he admits with a grin and ruffles my hair for a moment. “But thanks for not being too angry.”

“At the moment, it doesn’t feel like I could be,” I admit a bit sheepishly- and nervous, because it’s not like I usually tell things like this, after all. You know, gotta keep up the wall and not let others even think about coming, after all.

Alex beams. “Cause you’re with me, of course. Can’t help it. I’m just the coolest thing around.”

I laugh. “You wish. Cause I’m the coolest around, der.”

We keep bantering and teasing each other, sort of swaying as we walk and not really paying attention to where we’re going, until his parents suddenly clear their throats, and we realize we’ve arrived back at… er, the spot.

“Oh, hey there,” Alex grins casually. “We’re back, now.”

“And wet,” his mother frowns. “You’ll get the leather seats damp, dear. Whatever were you thinking?”

“We were thinking we’d join the merpeople,” he shrugs. “Turns out, they aren’t here on the weekends. Odd, huh?” He gives me a wink, since we’d mentioned that in our laughter a few minutes ago, and I have to smuggle a laugh, smiling.

They just give us a funny look. But oh what the heck, they’re old farts and don’t know nothing. I shift my weight on my feet and grin cheekily with Alex, still holding onto each other.

“Well, it’s time to go,” Mr. Gaskarth finally mumbles. “We should be going.” He picks up the basket and blanket and starts walking towards the little parking lot, his wife toddling after.

“Ready?”

“Eh,” I shrug. “Hup to, soldier.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nods with a slight smirk and we continue walking, water dripping and both of us carrying our shoes. Now we’re silent- but it’s a comfortable silence.

His mom’s all antsy about the water and makes us squeeze out what we can, and then she has her husband use the blanket to put across the seats first, so we won’t ruin her precious leather. That then is inconvenient for our seat belts. I mention that to Alex, who shrugs and decides to sit against his door, putting up one leg and making me sit between his legs, arms wrapped around my waist.

I momentarily consider getting out of his arms, but… well, I can’t help myself. He’s warmer and that helps, he’s comfier than the seats, and he’s cute… plus there’s something about feeling his warm breath on my collarbone that’s just delicious, and I can’t help myself, so I lean back into his chest pleasantly, enjoying the long, quiet ride home.

“And we’re home!” Mrs. Gaskarth’s annoying hyper voice rings out just as I’m finally dozing off and I realize that indeed, we’ve arrived at the Gaskarth residence. Oh, joy.

Alex moves around a little, stirring from his own nap and I hear him yawn behind me. Clumsily, I make my way out of the van and squint in the dim light, seeing the house in front of me. A chill runs through the wind and it makes my teeth shatter and I wrap my arms around myself, hoping that helps.

“Let’s go in,” Alex murmurs sleepily, wrapping his arms around me, and the two of us enter together in the quiet dim light. Carefully though sleepily, he leads me upstairs, rubbing my freezing arms.

It’s around now that the doubts begin flying through again, and I start becoming uncomfortable with his arms around me. I’m dying for the safe, pleasant feeling to return but I’m not sure what to do about it. It makes me feel lost and confused, like my walls are coming up without my permission all of a sudden, and it makes my stomach churn uneasily.

Reaching our room, I shrug his arms off and leave him standing as I grab some clothes and enter the bathroom, quickly rinsing off in the shower and then changing into some flannel bottoms and a thin but snug long-sleeved top.

Awkwardly scratching my neck and fiddling with my damp, cold long hair, I step out of the bathroom, shifting the weight of my feet. I see Alex standing there, his own clothes and such in hand, his mouth opening and he looks like he wants to talk about why I brushed him off.

And I’m doing it again. I clear my throat uneasily, fiddling with my extra long sleeves. “Um, you can… you can use the bathroom now,” I murmur, side stepping out of his way and climbing onto the bed.

He pauses, like he wants to say something, but finally closes his mouth and with a loud sigh, he steps into the bathroom and shuts it firmly. Squeezing my eyes shut against it all, I fall back on the pillow and grab the other one tightly to hold onto, trying to hold back my pent-up and muddled emotions.

I hate myself so much right now… and Alex. Fool, he should’ve never come up to me at the bar. We’d never be in this situation if he’d just left me alone. And Missy. She let all this happen. And Mrs. Gaskarth, she’s just a pain in the butt. And Mr. Gaskarth doesn’t stop her, so he’s annoying, too. But I’m bothered the most with myself, because I’ve got all these tumbled emotions and it’s ticking me off, and I just-

“I’m done,” Alex’s soft voice murmurs in the dim light.

Quickly I look up, my eyes wide with surprise. Done already? But… I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Then I bite my lip, confused with myself, and then I watch as Alex puts his things away and clears around the spot for his sleeping bag, trying to get it all comfortable. That makes me feel guilty, making him sleep on the floor, and I have the bed…

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Swallowing I try again. “Um, Alex?”

“Hm?” He murmurs tiredly, looking up at me, squinting.

But the words get choked up. “Uhm… er, good night.”

“Good night, Bailey,” he replies and tries to lay down, but keeps moving around cause of course, the ground is pretty hard. What’s the point with carpet, after all, I wonder randomly. It’s never really that soft… no, focus!

Licking my lips, I sit up and watch him shifting about. “Um… Alex?”

“Yeah, Bailey?” He offers, not looking at me.

“Uh…” the words seem to die again, but I struggle to bring them up. “Well, I… uh. I mean, the… your- this… the bed’s pretty big,” I manage. “So, um… you know, if you wanted… I mean, it’s okay… if, uh, you want to erm, share… you know, the bed,” I mumble, fiddling with the corner of the pillow.

Slowly Alex sits up and squints at me thoughtfully. “Are you sure?”

“Uhm… I think so?” I offer a pathetic smile.

He smiles a little and nods. “Thanks, then, Bay.” He picks up the other pillow and crawls up onto the bed, putting down the pillow and opens the covers for both of us to climb in.

Trying to ignore my shaking fingers and cold hair, I climb in. Shifting a little, I try to lie on my back, but I don’t want to stare at him, so I lie on my right side, and try not to shiver because of my wet hair.

I hear him sigh. “Bay? Your hair is wet.”

“I know,” I whisper. “I’m too tired to blow-dry it. And it’s not good to leave it in a towel over night,” I add, my eyelids continually feeling heavier.

Alex gives another sigh as I accidentally shiver again. His weight shifts and I watch from the corner of my eye as he climbs off the bed, finds a small towel and comes back. Alex sits on the bed. “I’m going to dry some of your hair,” he explains. “Just go to sleep.” And then he starts pulling his fingers through my thick hair, and a few strands at a time, he slowly starts rubbing them together in the towel, gradually drying them. I’m too exhausted to argue and I fall asleep to the calming motions of his hands running through my hair.