Do You Love Me?

Opening my eyes, I let out a deep and frustrated sigh; today was going to be a bad day, I could clearly tell. It was the eve of my eighteenth birthday, and you must be thinking, shouldn’t I be happy? Shouldn’t I have been over the moon?. Well, I wasn’t. I never was when it came to my birthday. But I had to always pretend in front of everybody else, that I was excited and that I was going to have the time of my life.

I didn’t want to hurt anyone with my own pain. They didn’t deserve my grief. Most people thought they knew me really well. Inside and out. But that was never true. No one knew the real Jaime except for my two best friends; Rae and Jaee.

Those two seemed to be the only two who understood me completely. They were the ones who I opened out too. They were the ones who knew about my past. My ‘so called’ secret.

“Jaime!” I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard Carol scream my name up the stairs.

Rolling my eyes and grabbing my schoolbag I ran downstairs and into the kitchen of the care home; my home.

The table was already neatly set out and Carol stood by the kitchen stove making my favourite breakfast. I smiled; Carol was one of the most important people in my life. She treated me as if I was her very own daughter. Not many people wanted to accept me in their lives and I was surprisingly okay with it whereas Carol; my social worker welcomed me with open arms.

I had been shifted from one foster home to another foster home all my life. It never turned out well there would always be something about me that my at the time foster parents hated with full on passion. I didn’t care. After a long time there was a family I was finally ready to accept in my life. They seemed really nice and good for me. But, like always it didn’t turn out to be the best experience of my life. That exact opposite to be quite accurate.

I stepped into the garden of my new foster home, the cold icy air hitting my pale face. The garden was the perfect size. Everything in this house seemed too perfect to be true. But this was it. My new home. A new beginning. A clean break. I was ready to start my life from fresh. I had decided to forget about where I had come from and had given myself the courage and strength that I required to enter this whole new change.

My new family consisted of Mr and Mrs Hollingsworth and their two daughters, Emily and Kelsey; both being younger than myself. I felt someone’s hand on my shoulders soon after. Turning around I smiled gracefully at Mr Hollingsworth. “Hello sir,” I greeted him.

“Oh no Jaime, call me Jerry.” He insisted smiling widely back. “I hope you like it here,” he said.

“Yes I do,” I replied taking my eyes off his face and looking at the huge man that stood behind him a few feet further back. He didn’t seem right.

“Oh!” Jerry grabbed hold of my hand and took me to that unusual huge man, “This is David, my brother, he lives here with us too,” I looked up at David with curious eyes as he grinned down back at me. “I shall leave you two alone to get to know each other better,” Jerry said and with that he left me all alone with David.

“I’ve heard so much about you Jaime,” he said, “It’s nice to meet you,” he continued to speak rather politely. I didn’t know why but all of a sudden I felt scared; I smiled nervously back at him and started to back away slightly. “Oh Jaime, don’t be scared,” he said taking larger steps towards me.

I started shaking my head, “I won’t hurt you…that much,” as soon as he said those words I screamed so loudly so someone could hear me. But unfortunately they didn’t.
I closed my eyes hoping that it was all a dream and that I was going to wake up any second.

One big blow to my head and I was on the floor.

Miranda; a sweet seven year old that lived here with the rest of us came running towards me at full speed. “When you look me in the eyes! I catch a glimpse of heaven!!!” she started singing her favourite song to my disgust, “Happy birthday Jam-Jam!” she screamed.

I started to laugh, “Miranda, my birthday is tomorrow,” I smiled down at her.

“No!” she yelled back and I looked at Carol who was trying her best not to laugh. “You’re birthday is today! It says in my calendar!” she explained.

“Okay, whatever you say and thanks,” I kissed her cheek and made my way to the front door.

Stepping outside into the sun I began to look around for Rae’s car. She soon pulled up in front of the driveway and honked her horn, not realising that I was already standing outside ready.

“Hola!” she greeted me as I stepped into her BMW. “So how was your sleep?!” she asked me excitedly.

Rae was the most hyperactive out of the three of us. Whereas Jaee was mostly quiet around other people and I according Rae and Jaee was in between. “Twas okay,” I answered shrugging my shoulders as we began driving towards Jaee’s house.

“I cannot wait until Friday!” shrieked Rae as we waited patiently for Jaee to step out of her house. “Are you excited?” she asked, then immediately lowered her gaze from my face, “Sorry,” she apologised.

I laughed, “Rae, don’t apologise for no reason, and yeah I’m quite happy about our joint birthday party, it should be great,” I said looking out of the window as Jaee appeared and started walking towards us. For the account mine and Rae’s birthdays were only two days apart.

“Wattup ma homies,” Jaee stepped into the back of the car and started to get all gangster on us.

“Hey Jaee-bear!” Rae and I replied back in unison.

We began to drive away now finally towards the school. Rae parked her car just outside the school and the three of us stepped outside. Looking around I could clearly see everyone else. Freshmans huddled together in a group pretending to be brave. I laughed to myself as I remembered my very own freshman year.

That was a few years back and now I was a senior; graduating this year of course. I began to follow Rae and Jaee to the gates where the rest of our friends were waiting for us.

“Jam! Rae! Jaee!” Karen screamed our names, “Happy early birthday babe!” Karen kissed my cheek and hugged the rest of us.

“Thank you,” I faked a smile and looked around for Drew, my boyfriend of two months.

I soon felt someone hugging me from the back, “Hey,” Drew whispered in my right ear.

“Hello,” I replied back, “Dr-” I didn’t get the chance to say anything else as all of our attention turned towards Jaee.

“I really can’t believe we use be friends with her,” Jaee complained. “I mean look at the way she is dressed, who is she trying to impress now?” she crossed her arms together shooting Alison, the schools’ snobby bitch a dirty look.

I shrugged my shoulders once again, “Leave it Jaee, she’s not worth it,”

“I know, but I swear that girl needs a taste of her own bitchiness,” suggested Jaee.

“Jaee, forget it okay? Bitches, they come and they go. Who gives a damn fuck anyways?!” I rolled my eyes as we entered the school building together, “I have music first what about you guys?” I asked the rest of my friends.

“Drama,”

“Biology,”

“History,”

“Maths,”

They all informed me, “Okay, I’ll see you at break,” I smiled and turned my back on them. Walking into my music class I looked around for a seat. My crazy teacher, Ms Harrison who came running towards me, soon caught my attention. “There’s someone very special here to meet you!”

Someone very special here to meet me?

I looked at Ms Harrison with confusion in my eyes, “Who?”

“Oh, come along with me sweetie,” she said and I began to follow her into her music room office. “I shall leave you two alone,” she smiled and left the room.

The woman before me rose up from her seat and slowly turned around to face me directly. Her dark curly covering the top half of her face. She looked rather familiar. I stared into her eyes trying to figure out who she was. “I’m Denise,” she stuck out her hand and introduced herself, I took her hand into my own and shook it and gave her a nod. I still had yet to figure out who she was, “I’m your mother” she smiled informing me who she really was.