Do You Love Me?

I tried opening my eyes as they hurt from the sun beaming down on me, yawning I wondered what time of the day it was. Realising that I had been wrong; the sun was not out but my old baby night-light was shining away in my face. Smiling, I slowly began to rise up from my bed. But, then it hit me hard in the face like a bombshell. My life wasn’t the same anymore. I wasn’t the same Jaime as I had been just this morning.

Checking my alarm clock, I realised that it was just two in the morning. I must have fallen asleep on the floor and someone must have tucked me in. But, I could clearly remember that I had locked my bedroom door, then how in the world did someone get in? Moving gently across the room I checked my bedroom door. It was obvious that they had to break the lock.

Sighing frustratingly, I sat down on the chair beside the bookshelf and began to re think my ways out of this disgusting mess. My mother was back in my life and wanted me to go home with her. Like I would ever let that happen to me. I was sick and tired of people playing games with me, after all, I was a human being too, with a heart that beats just like theirs’ with feelings and emotions.

“Happy birthday Jaime,” I wished myself and closed my eyes, “yet another bad day in your life,”

“Don’t think like that Jai.” My eyes shot open immediately and I examined the figure in the doorway. It was dark, so I couldn’t easily make out whom it could be. “It’s me, Drew.”

“What are you doing here?!” I asked sitting upright. “It’s two in the morning!” I complained moving across the dark room towards him.

He laughed, “Carol let me stay. I was the one who tucked you in bed.” He informed me and I sighed moving back to the chair, “I’m just a little shocked right now to be honest,” he shrugged, placing himself on the floor beside the chair I was sitting on. “I always knew you were hiding something,”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” I questioned.

“I didn’t feel that it was my right to intrude,” he answered, “I didn’t know you were going through so much Jai, if I did, I would’ve done something to help, believe me.”

“You don’t need to testify for anything Drew.” I yawned a bit, “Some things are better left unknown,”

“Yes I know that Jaime, I understand you completely, what you must be going through right now, that I cannot even begin to imagine, I just wished you could open up to me more often,” he complained, “you should know by now that I would never even think about judging you,”

I yet again let out a huge sigh and got up and made my way to my bed, placing my legs inside my duvet I looked in the direction where Drew was sat, “ok Drew. I’ll let you in on my life, but let me tell you. You won’t look at me the same way like you use to before, I would be like a whole new different person for you.”

Without replying Drew got up from where he was sat and sat down beside me, “I have all the time in the world for you Jai.” He whispered in my left ear.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “Ok.” I bit my lip hard and thought about where to begin. “When I was born, my parents didn’t want me. So they easily gave up on me. And that was how I ended up in this care home. I have basically lived here most of my life, really. Though, I was moved about a lot of the times. Some of my foster-parents didn’t even like the look of me and so they sent me back. And some well…it’s hard to say. They seemed really nice and lovable but there would always be a certain member of their family who didn’t like my presence there. And yet again I would be sent back. I got use to it. It didn’t bother me so much after a few years. It had somehow in a way become a part of my life.

“There was this one family,” I paused remembering that one particular day all over again, “I was enjoying myself and I really thought that it was a start of something new. I had accepted them with open arms. They seemed really nice. But, a member of their family had become abusive towards me,” I felt Drew stiffen by my side, “I just took it. Every time. There was nothing I could do about it. If I said anything, I knew perfectly well that no one would ever believe me, so I stayed quiet. But one night…one night it went too far,” I closed my eyes tightly shut and squeezed Drew’s hand. He squeezed back. “He told me he had changed and that he was sorry for hurting me. I believed him. I was so stupid. He took me up to his bedroom and sat me down on his bed. He told me that I was very beautiful…and that was when it all began.”

“What are you doing, sir?” I asked the man before me, he didn’t answer but just smiled at me. I felt his hand grasp onto my tights, I screamed as he pulled them down, “Stop! You’re hurting me!” I cried but there was no point. No one was home to come to my rescue. It was just him and me. I was too weak to runaway. There was nothing I could do. Except, just take it all in, like always.

“Listen to me carefully you stupid girl, it won’t hurt a bit. If you cause me any trouble I will make sure you suffer even more pain than usual, you got that?” he threatened and spat in my face.

I closed my eyes, letting the hot stinging tears fall. I grasped onto his shirt and yelped in grave pain as he tore his way into my small body.

I sighed, “It carried on like this for a few more nights, or basically whenever he got the chance, after that when I ran away back to the care home on my own. I refused to go anywhere. I refused to meet up with new people. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I didn’t deserve any of this Drew. I…I just” I couldn’t take it anymore longer. I let the tears fall. They fell with full on speed.

“I’m sorry!” I sobbed and buried my face in Drew’s chest.

“Shhh…” Drew ran his fingers through my hair “Don’t worry Jai. I’m here for you. We’ll fight this war together.”