Do You Love Me?

“Happy birthday to you!” I heard everybody scream as I made my way down the stairs the following morning, hand in hand with Drew.

Drew spun me around and looked me in the eyes, “I want you to know that I still think of you as my same old Jai and no matter what happens I will always be here for you. You’re really special,” he whispered looking down upon my face, “I’m really glad I found my soul mate in you,”

At that very moment I felt my heart skip a beat as my eyes welled up with tears, he thought of me as his soul mate? It was as if though the light had disappeared before my eyes, darkness scooping me up, trying to take me away. But only one face shone, that face of a guardian angel. My angel. Drew.

“What you looking at?” Drew asked grinning as he kissed my forehead.

I smiled, “And I’m really glad that I found you,”

We both stood there lost in each others eyes for a few second longer until Miranda decided to interrupt. “Ew! Carol!” she screamed at the top of her voice, “they are going all gooey again!” she yelled pointing in the direction where I stood in Drew’s arms.

“Did you have to open the door so quickly Miranda?” Carol asked the six year old, “you ruined Jam’s surprise!” she moaned laughing.

I noticed the birthday cake in Rae’s hands as she held still as Jaee lightened up the candles. I ran over to my two best friends and Carol and wrapped them in a big hug. “Awe, thank you guys!” I smiled and for once it was not a fake one. It was in fact, real. Yes that may sound surprising coming from me but it was true. After my little talk with Drew I realised that I needed to start appreciating the love some people felt for me. It was the only way I could get through this stage in my life.

We as in myself, Drew, Jaee, Rae, Carol and Miranda sat around the breakfast table as I began to slice-up the cake. Once our stomachs were full, Carol coughed nervously and sighed, “Jai, sweetie. Please do not hate me for saying this to you at this very minute but…” she stopped halfway and I could see that she was shaking, which was not a good sign at all.

“What’s up Carol?” I asked out of curiosity.

Carol gazed at me sympathetically, from then on I knew I was about to be hit by something unexpected, something that would tear me apart. I did not want to hear any of it, I had made my decision and this time I was not backing out, no matter how hard I was being pushed to the edge. I promised myself and I wasn’t going to break it.

“I know what you are going to say and I don’t want to hear it,” I said quickly before anyone could say anything.

Jaee tore her gaze away from the cake on her plate and looked at me. Her eyes said it all, looking around I could see everybody’s faces that seemingly repeated the same thing over and over again.

You’re not wanted here anymore.

“Look Jai, we know how hard this must be for you and we’re sorry but your parents are coming today and you will be going with them,” Carol ordered.

As if I would ever agree to that.

“No!” I screamed at the top of my voice and stood up.

Rae let out a sigh, “Listen Jaime, we’ve been talking about this, it’d be better for you and everybody else if could just let your guard down and leave,”

My eyes widened as my mouth dropped open.

Rae?

My best friend Rae?

Wanted me to leave?

“I thought we were best friends Rae!” I cried.

“We are!” Rae cried back, “And that is why I think that this is best for you! I wouldn’t be suggesting this if I thought otherwise…”

I could see the tears forming in her eyes. It hurt to see her like this, especially as I was the cause of all this grief. “I can’t believe this,” I whispered and turned to face Drew, “are you in favour of this too?” I asked.

He looked back at me, his eyes cold and bitter. I knew the answer right away. Closing my eyes, I let the tears stream down my face. It was still hard for me to endure the true fact that my own friends wanted me to leave. In a way I guess they were right, I needed a new beginning. But I didn’t want a fresh new start for myself with the people who gave up on me all those years ago.

But did anyone give me any choice at all?

“What time do they arrive?” I croaked bitterly.

“In one hour to be precise,” Carol answered back in a whisper. “I’ve already packed your bags, all you have to do is…wait,”

The hour flew by like a speed train and soon it was 10am. The doorbell rang, I sat at the top of the stairs with Drew, Rae and Jaee whilst Carol beckoned the two strangers in. My so called mother and father.

“Jai darling!” the man who was supposedly my father yelled in my direction.

Carol whispered something to him and his smile faded away. Idiot. “Jai, it’s time,” she said turning towards me, I sped down the stairs and wrapped her in a hug, “Oh Jai!” she screamed.

“I’m going to miss you!” I wept, “You will always be more of a mother for me than anyone else!”

“I know,” she said gently pushing me back.

I then hugged Miranda goodbye, “You are coming back right?” she asked and I gave her a slight nod.

“Video call me!” Jaee tightened her hug around me, “I’m going to raid your new house all summer!” she grinned and pulled me closer, “Email me Joe’s number,” she whispered in my ear and laughed.

“Sure thing, Jaee.” I pulled away from her and turned my attention towards Rae.

“I cancelled the party,” she said.

My mouth dropped open yet again, “Why would you do such a thing Rae?!”

Rae smiled slightly, “What’s the point in a party without you?” she said hugging me, “Just go before the waterworks start again,” she said and turned her back towards me. The throbbing pain inside me was now back.

Sighing frustratingly, I slowly made my way to the front door where I was scooped up in Drew’s arms. “Come with me,” he whispered grabbing of my left hand, he took me outside into the sun. “Look at me Jai,” Drew ordered cupping my face in his hands, “I didn’t want this to happen…I never did, I belong with you and you belong with me.” He whispered moving in closer, “these past few months have been heaven for me and it’s all down to you. I love you Jaime Smith,”

I could see the tears in his eyes, it was the first time in our relationship that he had said those three words to me. I could clearly tell by the pain and love in his voice that he really meant it.

“I…I love you too,” I squeaked back, groping on his shirt, “I don’t know what I am going to do in LA without you, it’s going to be so hard,” the tears started to roll down my face in again. I felt weak. Useless. This wasn’t fair. I didn’t want to leave.

“Hush baby,” Drew wrapped his arms around my waist, “turn around,” he asked me and so I did, “here’s a little something for you to remember me by,” I felt something cold being place around my neck, I opened my eyes and say that it was a heart shaped necklace. “Look what it says at the back,” I placed the pendant in my palm and read what it said at the back.

Love Always, - Drew.

“Thank you,” I mouthed and turned around to face him for the last time.

Scooping me up in his arms, Drew gently placed his lips upon my own, it felt completely different. It gave me a different message altogether. From then on I knew that Drew had always been the person that I wanted and craved. He had this affect on me that no one else could over power. Even though, the promise that I had made to myself was broken, that certainly did not mean that I was going to live with the Jonases. My so-called family didn’t know what they were going to be hit by. I was a fire that they were going to regret adding fuel to.