Memories

“Well… I’m curious about you.” He hesitated, looking for the right words. Then he continued. “What are you doing here?”

“I want you to answer that too,” I said.

“…Fine, but you have to answer first.”

I paused for a second. Do I really want to tell him that? No…maybe…yes…I don’t know.

“I was running away. They told me to kill someone, and I couldn’t… and I would be dead if I hadn’t run…”

I was close to tears now, but I had no idea why. I didn’t know why I was telling him either. He wasn’t pinning me down any more, and I sat up a little. He didn’t look like he thought my little story was funny. Instead, he almost looked sympathetic. I took a deep breath.

“So are you going to tell me your story,” I pressed.

“Hmm…” He looked like he was debating whether or not to tell me.

“…I was looking for you… I heard that someone had gone missing, and I knew that no one else would’ve been brave enough to stand up for what they believe except for you. So I started loo-”

“Wait a second. You mean that you know me?”

“Of course I know you, you’re ________ right?” (You didn’t actually think I was going to tell you my name, did you?)

“Yeah… so what’s your name?”

“Nate,” he said dismissively.

I recognized him now. He’s the one from my dream. And from real life. Now my thoughts came back to me in a giant, incomplete jumble. (But just so you can understand it, I’ll tell you in complete sentences.)

He was the one that I was told to kill. The reason that I ran away. He had followed me, since no one paid attention to him after I ran. They chased after me, guns in their hands, ready to shoot. The noise of the first shot sounded like…like… like seven whips cracking at the same time, right in my ear as it flew by, hitting a nearby tree. The second one I don’t remember hearing, but I do remember that pain. I managed to find a place to hide, but by the time they left, I had lost so much blood and was so weak that I couldn’t go anywhere. Then I must’ve passed out or something. Nate must have seen that and carried me to the nearest cave.

He was on my side.

Apparently Nate had noticed the realization and said “So you do remember.”
It was a statement, not a question. I nodded.

“Do you think you made the right choice,” he asked.

Well that could only mean about five hundred different things.

“Right choice about what?”

“Not killing me, to start with.”

Now I know that everyone thinks that I was going to smile and nod and say “Of course I did.” But this is real life. Not all endings are happy. So I thought about it.

I had no family left, no home, and a bunch of people that want to kill me. There was no place to go, I had no food, and I knew that I would probably die in the next twenty- four hours. Was being brave really worth all of that?

On the other hand, I had stood up for what I believed in, saved someone that in turn saved me. I had one person on my side. Who knows, maybe this guy has friends. And even if I do die, someone else will set things right.

I took a breath. “I don’t really know.”

Nate looked at me with an even gaze. “And yet you made that choice yourself. That must tell you that you had some sort of a good intention, or and idea or a plan. And even if you don’t make things right, someone else will.”

It was creepy how he knew what I was thinking.

He continued. “And anyway, there are more people on your side then you think, you just might not know them by name. We have to just face what we have.”

As much as I wish he wasn’t , Nate was right. Even if I didn’t want to face this, I have no where to go now. And why should I go against the one person on my side? I looked at Nate. I didn’t know what would happen, but I wasn’t going to go down without a fight.