My Thoughts You Can't Decode

The crew rushed to set our equipment up, sweating, grunting. I sipped from my bottle of water and waited for them to signal that we were ready. My eyes scanned the surrounding tents for a familiar, friendly face. I spotted people I'd spoken with, like Max Bemis, Mike Hranica, and Daniel Williams, but no one like Gabe or Victoria or...

"Hayley!"

I turned to see my band mates jogging in place antsily, waiting for me.

"Sorry..."

I took my orange microphone from the crew member beside me and cleared my throat before turning it on.

"Helloooo Cali!" I yelled into the mic. "And in case you didn't know, We! Are! Paaaaaramoooore!"

We ran onto the stage, pumped and ready for the crowd. The band launched into "Born for This" and I belted out the words until my ribs ached. The crowd was feeling it with every song we played and every breath I took.

Forty minutes later, I was wiping sweat from my body with a towel and trying to catch my breath. We were due back at our tent for the meet and greet in about twenty minutes. I poured a whole bottle of water on my head and let the waterfall run down my aching, sunburned body.

"Oh my GOSH! It's Hayley!" a group of girls shrieked.

I turned to face them. "Hey! Did you like the show?"

My answer was a bunch of jumbled screams of excitement. They took pictures and hugged me and gave me shirts, posters, and CDs to sign. I never even made it to the tent; a crowd quickly formed around me, begging for my attention. After almost an hour of dealing with the squeals, I retreated to the tent.

Only a well built man stood at the table. He wore black square-framed sunglasses and had a dark shag of hair that was streaked with sweat.

"Nah man, I seriously think the fans kidnapped her and dragged her off to Mexico," Zac joked.

"She should've been back by now," Taylor muttered with a shrug.

Jeremy swiveled his head back and forth, looking for me. The guy nodded and sighed.

"Well, tell her to meet me up later...that is, if she's ready..."

Telle.

God help me.

Jeremy spotted me. "There she is!"

Telle looked up and took off his sunglasses.

"Hayley," he whispered.

My mouth was too dry to speak. I would choke on his name if it came out. But I had to try...

"Telle...I missed you."

The boys stared at me with curiosity and Telle gazed at me with surprise, and maybe even love.

Brandon hasn't called me at all.

"Uh, do you want to talk? We could go hang out in our bus."

Brandon hasn't answered.

"Sure."

No message on MySpace.

I awkwardly followed him to the Greeley Estates bus. No one was on the bus, just us. Alone.

No texts.

"I'm sorry," we said simultaneously.

"I never got over you," he whispered. "I tried to keep it from you because I knew you had Brandon. I didn't want to drive a wedge between the two of you. I..I still love you Hayley."

No e-mail.

A long pause echoed all around us. I had to say something.

"You know, I'm not so sure Brandon wants to be with me. He rarely calls me when I'm gone.
But I'm not sure you want to be with me either. You live in Arizona, you have Greeley. I live in Tennessee, I have Paramore. Music always gets in the way."

He moved closer. "But you were my first love. Music was a hobby until my first love disappeared from my arms."

I took a step back. "You threw me away."

He stepped closer. "And as a result, that heart you were clinging to was ripped from my chest."

I stood still while he inched closer.

"This heart, it beats, beats for only you, whoa.."

He repeated the lines we used to sing to each other until his nose was touching mine.

"My heart is yours,"I sang back.

Brandon doesn't care.

And we finally kissed.