Stay Still

I woke up the next morning and as had been my routine for the past two weeks immediately went into the bathroom to throw up in the sink. After a few seconds I felt someone wrap their arm around my waist and hold me as I bent over. I looked up to see Eric looking at me with a worried expression. He gathered my hair in his hands and held it away from my face as I retched again. Finally after a few more minutes I felt the nausea going away. I turned the water on full blast and washed my mouth and the sink out. I splashed cold water on my face and grabbed a towel from the shelf. As I dried my chin I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was flushed and I had bags under my eyes. As I stared at my reflection I felt all the fury I had been feeling for the past month boil up inside of me. Fury at myself for being so stupid, at Matt for doing this to me, at my parents for not being here. All of it came crashing down on my head in that instant. Not even thinking I raised my hand and punched my reflection as hard as I could. The mirror smashed into a hundred pieces, slicing my knuckles open. I heard Eric gasp as he grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. I stood there, cradling my hand in between us and wept on his shoulder. He cooed in my ear, shushing me gently as he rubbed my back. It was then that I heard the running footsteps in the hallway. The bathroom door flew open and Matt was there, pushing my hair out of my face and asking me what was wrong. He didn’t try to take me away from Eric’s embrace though, which I was thankful for. I was still crying too hard to answer him so Eric answered for me.

“She had morning sickness and she just got upset. She broke the mirror and cut her knuckles. I think she’s still bleeding.” He said over my sobs. “Can you take care of this while I go clean her up?” he asked. I didn’t hear anyone answer and I didn’t look to see if anyone nodded. Eric picked me up and cradled me against his chest like a small child. I buried my face in his neck and tried to get myself under control. I felt him sit down but didn’t look up to see where we were. He started rocking me back and forth and I just let myself continue to cry. It felt good to be taken care of for once, to be held.

“It’s okay baby. Let it all out. I know. I know you’ve been going through hell. It’s alright.” Eric continued with his litany of sweet words.

Finally the tears began to slow and I could breathe somewhat normally again. “I’m sorry.” I whispered in between hiccups.

“Don’t be sorry sweetheart. It’s fine. And look, I wasn’t even wearing a shirt for you to get wet.” He gestured to his bare torso, smiling at me.

I giggled a little and laid my head back on his shoulder, tired after my long crying fit. “My hand hurts.” I said quietly, examining my bloody knuckles.

“Oh, damn, I forgot.” He got up, still carrying me, and walked out of what I now realized was my bedroom. He carried me into my parent’s bedroom and into their master bath since the guys were still cleaning up my mess in the other bathroom. He sat me down on the counter and turned the warm water onto my hand. He washed it off with anti-bacterial soap and dried it with the towel. I smiled as I watched him bandage my hand. When it was done he placed his lips on my knuckles and kissed them sweetly. He stood up in front of me and I wrapped my legs and arms around him. Hugging him tightly I whispered in his ear, “I love you.”

He laughed a little and kissed the side of my neck, “I love you too.” he replied as his lips continued to wander across my skin. Finally they reached my lips and I opened my mouth for him. His tongue slipped inside and danced with mine as my grip on him became tighter. He placed both hands down on the counter on either side of my hips, bracing himself. I could feel how hard he was as he pressed into me. I tightened my legs around his waist and pulled him even closer. He moaned softly into my mouth. I heard snickers then and we broke apart. I looked over at Mike and Beau who were both grinning at us from the doorway. Matt was also standing there but he was not smiling and looked more than a little uncomfortable.

“Don’t stop now. I want to see the rest.” Mike laughed. I picked up the closest object and chucked it at his head. He ducked and I heard it land on the floor with a soft thud. “You just threw a toothbrush holder at me.” He accused.

Smiling, I nodded and then hopped off the counter. “I want waffles. Anyone else?” I asked as I headed for the stairs.

“Isn’t it a school day?” Matt asked as they followed me. “It’s already 7:30. We’re gonna be late.”

“I don’t feel good. I’m not going. You can if you want, take trig notes for me.”

“Okay fine. Anybody else not feeling good?” he asked. Eric and Mike both raised their hands and grinned. Shaking my head I went into the kitchen, the four of them still following me like puppies. Eric and Mike both sat at the table and watched me move around the kitchen.

“Well, I guess I’ll go with you Matt, since it’s my first day and all.” Beau said, looking longingly at the pancake batter I was mixing.

“Good. Let’s go.” Matt came over and kissed the top of my head and then the two of them left.

“It kinda bugs me when he does that.” Eric announced after a minute of quiet.

“When who does what?” Mike asked. I didn’t have to ask because I already knew.

I turned around and leaned back against the counter. “I know. It kinda bugs me too. I think though, that as long as he understands that I’m with you and that he and I can only be friends, it’s not too bad. At least not bad enough to say anything to him.”

“Oh. Never mind. I know what you’re talking about now.” Mike said, satisfied with himself. “And yeah, I agree with Rach. He’s just trying to show her affection in the only way he can. He’s been doing that since elementary school. It’d probably feel weird to him if he left you without kissing you somehow.” He further explained.

“I guess. I still don’t like it though.” Eric said. Mike and I shrugged and I went back to my waffles.

“So what are we doing today guys?” Mikey asked excitedly.

“I know what we’re doing.” Eric replied, putting emphasis on the we’re. “I don’t know what you are doing though.”

“A-hole. Fine, be that way. I think I’ll go see what Heather is doing.” Mike said, getting up and heading for the door.

“Wait, don’t you want your waffle first?” I asked as I flipped it onto a plate.

“Oh yes. I want it.” He exclaimed and sat back down. I finished making the rest of them, sprinkled some powdered sugar on them and grabbed the syrup before sitting down. The three of us then entered waffle heaven and forgot about the rest of our problems for a little while.