Stay Still

It had been four weeks since Madi was born and I was still way too attached to her. I went over to Jared and Acacia's every day to see her. I could feel myself starting to regret giving her up and I was desperately trying to fight against it. I think it was becoming obvious to my friends as well.

Every time Eric saw me holding her he would get this uncomfortable expression on his face and excuse himself from the room. I could feel the tension between us growing but I didn't know what to do about it. On the other hand, my relationship with Matt couldn't be better. Of course, I was pretty sure that fact was just adding to the tension between Eric and me. It had led to more than one fight between us.

At the moment I was laying on my couch, my hands resting on my, now almost back to normal, stomach, watching Peter Pan for the millionth time. I lifted my head when I heard the front door open and smiled at Alex as he came and sat by me.

"Are you seriously watching this again?" He asked, astonished.

"It's my favorite movie." I replied simply.

He just shook his head at me and went to the kitchen to grab a soda. He returned a few minutes later with two Dr. Peppers. He threw one to me and sat back down. I sat up and popped the tab and then gasped as it exploded all over me. I glared over at Alex as he just sat there laughing at me.

"You are such a douche!" I yelled at him. This just made him laugh harder. I got up and went into the downstairs bathroom so I could dry off my shirt. He came in a few minutes later, no longer laughing.

"I think we need to have a party." He said as he jumped on the sink, swinging his legs.

"What kind of party?" I asked cautiously. I knew exactly what kind of party he was thinking. It involved a million people all over my house and gallons of beer.

"Oh you know. Just have some friends over, put some music on..." He trailed off.

I just looked at him and shook my head. Moving past him I went to the kitchen to get myself another soda. Of course he followed me.

"Come on, Rach. We haven't done anything fun since Madi was born and barely before that since you were pregnant. I think we all deserve to have one night to just be completely irresponsible for once."

"I kinda like being responsible actually." I answered, taking a sip of my soda and walking back towards the living room. He followed close behind me, listing more reasons why I should let him do this. I sat on the couch and looked up at him as he gave me his signature puppy face.

"Oh come on! Not the face! You know I can't handle the face!" I cried, grabbing a pillow to put over my face so I couldn't see him anymore.

"Please Rachel. Pretty pretty please!" He whined as he sat next to me and tried to get the pillow away. He started tickling me then and wouldn't stop unless I surrendered.

"Fine! Fine!" I yelled. "You can have your freaking party! Just get the hell off me!"

"Yay!" He shrieked, like the little girl he was and jumped up excitedly, clapping his hands.

I groaned inwardly, instantly regretting my decision. Alex was already on the phone inviting the whole neighborhood. Heck, he was probably inviting the entire state. I sighed and went back to my movie, trying to push this party out of my head. If worse came to worse I could always just hide in my room for the evening. Or maybe I would offer to babysit for Acacia. Yeah, that was a good idea. Who cared if Alex didn't like it. I hated big crowds. Especially ones in little spaces. I wouldn't even have fun if I was here. I'd much rather spend the evening with Madi.

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I looked around my living room, trying to find an escape. There was none. My plan to babysit had not worked out as I had hoped. Not only had Acacia declined my offer because she wanted me to go to the party but she and Alex tag teamed me and even made me wear a dress. I was not happy. And at the moment I was stuck talking to some idiot jock that went to our school and who had had five beers already. His breath smelled terrible and he was standing too close. I looked around, trying to find some of my friends. Acacia and Jared were dancing and were completely absorbed in each other. I spotted Brittany near the doorway but she looked half drunk already so I knew she wasn't going to be any help. I didn't see anyone else anywhere. I felt cornered and I was about to start hyperventilating.

"Will you excuse me please?" I asked as politely as possible, as I pushed the jock away from me and exited the living room. There were even more people in the hall and on the stairs, some making out, others talking. All with drinks in hand. It was disgusting. I hated these kinds of parties. People had absolutely no morals whatsoever.

I pushed my way through the gigantic crowd and finally made my way to the back door and outside. There were still more people out here but not quite as many. It was ridiculously warm outside for April, even if we were in Arizona. I searched the yard for someone I actually knew and saw Heather. I was glad to see she too was wearing a dress so I didn't feel completely retarded. She was surrounded by people I didn't know though so I didn't go to her. Finally I spotted Mike. I headed towards him, surprised he was actually alone. Usually he was chatting up some blonde bimbo at these kinds of things. But at the moment he was just leaning against a tree, holding a beer that looked half full still.

I leaned against the tree next to him and took the beer out of his hand. I took a sip and handed it back. I wasn't a big fan of beer but it was hot and I needed something cold. His beer wasn't cold though, it was very warm and made me feel like throwing up.

"God! How long have you been holding that?" I asked, wiping my mouth.

He shrugged. "Like an hour I guess." he answered. He sounded distraught.

"What's the matter Mikey?" I asked, standing in front of him.

He shrugged again. "I don't know." He wouldn't meet my gaze. I glanced over my shoulder to see if he was looking at something specific but I didn't see anything.

I turned back to him. "You know you can tell me anything right?" I said quietly.

"Yes..." His eyes were guarded when he looked down at me.

"Then why are you hiding this from me?" I asked, worried.

"Because it's going to hurt you." was his response. This did not help the worried thing.

"Mike, is it something I would tell you if our positions were reversed?"

He thought about it for a minute. "I guess... Maybe?"

"Well then tell me. I'm a big girl. Whatever it is, I can handle it." I sounded much more sure than I actually felt.

"Okay fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." I just looked at him, waiting. "I saw Eric kissing someone else." he said so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. "Like ten minutes ago."

"Eric who?" I asked.

He just gave me a look like, 'are you stupid?'

"Where is he?" I asked. I wanted to find out for myself. I trusted Mike but I couldn't just take his word for it.

"I'm not sure. They were out front when I saw them. Against the oak."

Without even waiting for him to finish his sentence I walked away, heading towards the front of the house. I was livid. If it was true I was gonna kill him. I knew we'd been having some issues but that didn't mean he could just go around kissing random girls. He was still my boyfriend. I rounded the front of the house, Mike close behind me and saw them. He had her pressed against the tree with his tongue basically down her throat. I couldn't tell who the girl was but I would know the back of him anywhere. The anger flew out of me, along with the rest of the air in my lungs. I went numb and fell to the grass on my knees.

Mike sank down next to me and gathered me up in his arms. I felt the ground beneath me disappear as he picked me up and carried me to Matt's house next door.