Stay Still

"You really want to go through with this?" Brittany asked me as we sat at the airport the next day. We were waiting very patiently for our plane to board and this was the fifth time she had asked me this question. I hadn't slept very well the night before and I was a little crabby so I refused to answer her this time. I couldn't stop picturing Eric's face the last time I had seen him, when I'd left him sitting in Matt's kitchen. He had looked so broken. Was I going to make it even worse by doing this? Would he come after me? Would he even care?

I took my cell phone out of my pocket and looked at it. There were three messages. One from my sister telling me she would miss me and to have a safe trip, another from Alex saying that I was being stupid and better come home soon and a last one from Eric. I replied to the first two before reading the last one.

"Rach

Jared told me what you're doing. I know that nothing I say will make you change your mind but I had to try. Look up.

Eric"

I read the message a couple more times before raising my head. I blinked a couple times, not completely believing my eyes. I stood up slowly and started making my way through the crowd. I heard Brittany ask me where I was going but I didn't stop to answer her. I finally made it to where Eric was standing. We just stood there, looking at each other. I'd missed him. It had only been four days since I'd seen him but it seemed like longer.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What do you think I'm doing here Rachel?"

"If I knew I wouldn't have asked." I answered, crossing my arms. If this was him trying to get me to stay he was failing miserably.

"Okay, just listen to me for a minute okay? I know that you think you're helping everyone in this situation by just eliminating the issue, and maybe you're right. Maybe you do need to leave so we can all just get over you. The thing is, though, none of us are ever going to get over you. Whether you are here or not, we are all still going to love you and need you. Think about Mike. He can barely even get dressed for school without calling you and then making sure you approve. He'll end up wearing pajamas every day without you. And Alex, you're the kids only friend, he goes to you for everything. Who is he gonna talk to about his problems now? He'll end up depressed and cutting himself. Jared will end up making shitty decisions for the band and it'll all fall apart without you. Matt will look at Madi and think of you and cry, not because he wishes he had you but because he misses his best friend. Your sister is already yelling at all of us because she's upset about you leaving and she's taking it out on the rest of us. Who will Beau go on crazy adventures with? He'll go crazy, stuck in the house, babysitting all the time. And Madi. What about her? Do you really want her to grow up not knowing her aunt?" He stopped for a minute and brushed my hair behind my ear, wiping a tear off my cheek at the same time. "And what about me Rach?" He whispered. "Are you really just going to leave me here all alone, aching for you? I'm already going crazy without you. I need you. I was too selfish and stupid to realize it before but I do. I can't live without you. I won't."

By now I had tears streaming down my face. As he talked I'd pictured the faces of all of my friends as he'd described them. Hurt and broken. It was painful to think about. What was I doing? I couldn't leave them. If I was going to stay, though, things were going to need to change.

"I'll stay." I said, wiping the tears off of my face. "But I have a few conditions."

"Anything." He said, hugging me to him.

"No bimbos. No drinking. No more fighting over me. Things have to be different." I said against his shoulder.

"Done, done and Matt and I already talked about it. We promised never to fight again. Especially over a girl." He leaned back to look at my face.

I smiled at him, "Okay, just one more thing." He waited. "Kiss me?"

He grinned. "Anything for you." He whispered as he leaned down and touched his lips to mine.