Stay Still

Jared and Acacia finally left after lots of tears on Acacia’s part, hugs on Jared’s part, and ecstatic jumping, also on Acacia’s part. Matt and I were just finishing with the dishes when the phone rang. I went to answer it. “Hello?”

“Hey it’s me.” Eric said.

“Oh hi. What’s up?”

“Are you busy? I really need to talk to you.” he said.

“I guess not. Matt’s here though…”

“Meet me.”

“Where?”

He was silent for a minute, probably thinking. “Remember that tree house Mike and I built out in the woods behind our houses?” he asked.

“Yes.” He didn’t say anything. “Fine. I’ll be there in a little while.” I said and then hung up the phone. When I went back into the kitchen Matt was sitting at the table, shuffling a deck of cards.

“Who was it?” he asked when I sat down across from him.

“Wrong number.” I replied, unable to meet his eyes. ‘God, I hate lying to him.’ I thought. “Hey Matt? I’m kinda tired…” I trailed off, not wanting to have to lie again.

“Oh, okay then. I guess I’ll just go.” he said, setting the deck of cards down. I followed him to the door and once he was gone, ran upstairs to throw a hoodie on and grab my shoes.

I went out the back door and ran through the dark woods to the tree house. I was about to climb up into it when I heard someone come up behind me. I turned around and shrieked when I saw someone come out from behind a tree. I inhaled deeply, getting ready to scream. I realized it was Eric then though so I exhaled.

“God! You scared the crap out of me.” I told him as he walked towards me, laughing.

“Sorry. But you should have seen your face.” he said. I smacked him and then climbed into the tree house. He followed, still laughing a little. I sat down against the wall and glared at him. He came over and kneeled down next to me. “I really am sorry.” he whispered. He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

“I forgive you." I wondered if he realized just how much power he had over me. "Now, what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked.

“Well, I kind of wanted to pick up where we left off last night.” he said, leaning in. I moved away from him. “What’s wrong?” He looked at me with a hurt expression.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Even though I really, really don’t want to.”

“What is it?”

“Alright, first of all, you need to know that I would never ever intentionally hurt you in any way.” He started to interrupt me but I held up my hand to stop him. “Wait, just let me finish because even though I don‘t want to hurt you or tell you this you have a right to know before you and I can possibly go any further.” I stopped for a minute and then just spat it out, “I slept with Matt.” He just sat there staring at me. I suddenly felt extremely sad and a tad nauseous.

“You… you slept with Matt? When?” he said, looking even more sad then I was.

"The night we got into that big fight over 'her.'" I whispered. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the hurt look on his face when I told him the rest. “But that’s not the worst part.” I said.

“You must be joking. What could possibly be worse?” he asked sadly.

“I’m pregnant.” He didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, his mouth hanging open. I swallowed hard and then whispered, “We’re giving the baby to Jared and Acacia.” He still didn’t say anything. “Eric? Please say something.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. I mean, what do you say when the girl you love tells you she slept with your best friend and is pregnant with his child?”

“Love? You love me?!’ I asked excitedly.

“Well, yeah. But it doesn’t really matter anymore. You’re with Matt.”

“I’m not with him. We just slept together. I needed someone and he was there.” He nodded slowly. “He walked me home and...”

“I don’t really need the details.” he said quickly.

“Right.” I moved closer to him, taking his hands in mine. “Eric, if I hadn’t gotten pregnant we would have just forgotten it ever happened because…” I stopped.

“Because?”

“Because I would have told him that I couldn’t be with him… when I was in love with you.” I whispered.

“You’re in love with me?” he asked.

I smiled, “Eric, I’ve been in love with you since the first day I met you.”

He laughed. “Wasn’t that like Kindergarten?”

“Second grade.”

“Oh right, when Jared and I beat up that irritating Joe kid.”

“Yeah. The two of you jumped on him when he pushed Acacia and me off the swings. Acacia and Jared pretty much fell in love that day…”

“And you fell in love with me?” he asked, looking at me, one eyebrow raised.

I shrugged and nodded. “I know it sounds crazy but that’s what love is, isn’t it? Crazy feelings that you just can’t explain.”

He smiled. “Yeah I guess you’re right. So I’m in love with you, you’re in love with me…and you’re pregnant with Matt’s baby. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know.” I answered simply. That was when the thunder started, followed by a bright flash of lightning and then the clouds burst open.

“Well, looks like we’re going to be stuck here for a while.” Eric said.

“Great.” Rain started coming in the window so I moved away from it. The tree house was kind of small and the two of us were bigger than we had been when we used to hang out in it. We had to sit extremely close to each other in order not to get soaked. “Well, it looks like we have plenty of time to talk…” I said.

He laughed, “You wanna know what I think?” he asked. I nodded. “I think that you giving your baby to two people who can’t have their own is the most selfless, beautiful thing you’ve ever done.”

“It’s really not a big deal. I’m so not ready to take care of a child and they are. The way I see it, it’s really my only option.”

“So, what’s it gonna call you? I mean, are you guys going to tell it that you’re it’s real mother?” he asked.

“Can you stop calling it “it”?”

“Well, what am I supposed to call…it?”

“I don’t know but ‘it’ just sounds so impersonal.”

“How bout just ‘him‘?”

“Fine.”

“Are you guys going to tell him that you are his real mother?” he asked again.

“I don’t think so. I’m thinking of it as, I’m just having this baby for Acacia. He’s not really mine. I’ll have my own when I’m ready. And when I am they will not be Matt’s.”

“Whose will they be?” he whispered, staring at me.

“I don’t know.” I whispered back.

“I do.” He said as he leaned in once again. This time I didn’t move away and he kissed me. This kiss wasn’t soft like the first one had been. This one was full of passion and longing. I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him against me. He broke the kiss so we could both breathe and then kissed me again, laying me down on the floor. He trailed kisses down my neck and then back up to my ear. He started nibbling on my earlobe, making me shiver. “I love you so much.” he whispered. Instead of answering him with words I ran my hands down his back and lifted his shirt over his head. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.” I replied, reaching for the snap on his jeans.

“But what about the baby? What if we hurt it?” He had a trace of panic in his voice.

“He’ll be fine. Stop worrying and kiss me again.” He grinned and did as I asked.