This Is Our Life

They were all sat in a room, except Kath. There were 2 people, a man and a woman, sat with them in a circle. There were 27 armed guards watching them closely. Not the man and the woman!
"I don't know what they think we'll do," said HRL.
"Now, we are from the I.C.U charity," said the woman sweetly, "It's for the victims of pedos."
"Kath isn't a pedo!" said Cherri, defensively.
The woman's eyebrows raised. "I'm sorry, who's Kath?"
"She's in hospital! Having her stomach pumped!" said Abbi, brightly.
BA was going to kick her, but it would be like kicking Bambi, or a rottweiler. She just couldn't do it.
"Um, right," said the woman, slightly perplexed, "Bob, if you'd like to take over."
"I'M BOB!" shrieked Abbi.
"Abbi, shh," said Emz.
"No, no, here we do things differently, you are able to say whatever you want," said Bob, smiling at Abbi.
Immediately, they all began shouting and talking. Even HRL, who was complaining the prison wardens took her bombs off her.
"One at a time!" interrupted Bob, his hands in the air.
Abbi giggled. Nobody was quite sure why.
"Me first!" said Ruthie.
"No, no, no, wait!" said Bob, "Listen up, we want you to open up about your experiences with Ellef and Bongo slowly. You can tell us, we can help. We are the charity of I.C.U, the pedo victims charity."
"Oh, I remember!" said the woman suddenly, "Kath was the most frequent victim of Ellef, wasn't she?"
Quiet.
"I wouldn't quite say...'victim'..." said Rosie, carefully.
But the woman wasn't listening.
"Call herself a charity worker," sniffed MLz.
"It's so hard!" Zara was wailing, "I mean, you have no idea-"
"She's distracting them so we can take out the guards," hissed Cherri.
"Oh, of course," said BA, "It's obvious."
Shauna and Licky had stood up. Immediately, the guards shot tranquilizers - they hoped it was tranquilizers - into them.
"I need a wee," said Abbi, "FREE THE WEEEEEEE."
Zara stopped wailing. "I guess that didn't quite work then." She looked at the fallen bodies of Shauna...and then Licky. "OH NO, LICKY, MY WIFEY!"
Bob and the woman were whispering amongst themselves.
Nova coughed. "Does anyone want a cookie? I still have the ones Barack Obama gave me."
"You know Barack Obama?" asked Bob.
"And Batman," said HRL.
"I think we should refer them to the psychiatric department," Bob said.
"We ain't deaf," said BA, bluntly.
"Not saying you are, sweetie," said the woman, "Now, if you'd all like to sit nice and quietly, I can bring you all a lollipop."
"Lollipops!" said Abbi, happily.
Jess was scowling. "I'm not five. I expect more than one lollipop."
"MY WIFEY!" said Zara, dramatically, "She's dead!"
"She's tranquilized," said Emz.
"Oh. Nevermind then. Can I have a blue one?"
"Oh, no, dear, blue ones are unhealthy," Bob said.
Zara stared at him. "What hell do you live in?"
"I'm a giraffe!" said Abbi, clapping her hands.
"I can't stop thinking of bananas..." groaned BA, "I don't even eat bananas."
"OHMYGOD, what a coincidence!" shrieked Jess, "I'M A BANANA!"
"Ohh, can I peel you?" asked BA.
"Are you kidding?" scoffed Jess, "I am too cool for that."

"I am this close to hanging myself," said Bob..