This Is Our Life

“You what?” said Cherri, spraying cereal.
“Here’s a note!” said Mlz, brandishing the paper.
“Stop waving it about then,” said Zara irritably.
Mlz cleared her throat. “Don’t-” She paused. “This handwriting is terrible. I can’t read this.”
“Let me look,” said Jess, but HRL had already taken the paper.
“Dunt worry aboat yon…your fiend Kath,” she read aloud, “You will soon be wiv her. She…is…er, I think this word is kidnappered…by us, the Mod Gang.”
HRL paused as everyone giggled. Zara continued giggling manically long after everyone else had stopped.
“Lots of love, will-you-haff-sex-wiv-Loopa-pleaz-Emz, Cuppa, Fizzie, Bongo, Zabba, Sola, Loopa, Rocko, Java.”
Silence.
Then, “They aren’t very literate,” remarked BA.
“No, lots of spelling mistakes,” added HRL.
They stared at the paper.
“They should hire a tutor,” said Emz.
Pause.
“Maybe we should go and rescue Kath,” suggested Ruthie.
“Er, will Kath need rescuing?” asked Zara doubtfully.
“Probably not,” said Nova, “But hey, it might be fun!”
“Kath is our fiend, according to ‘the Mods’ ” said Cherri, “We have to at least go and see her.”
“Yeah. It could be like a party!” said Rosie.
So they set off.
“Lucky they put their address on here,” said Abbi.
“There is it!” said Zara, pointing and grinning.
“It’s not very impressive,” said Jess, sniffing, “Not a gang place at all.”
Ruthie knocked on the door. “Hihihihihihihihi!” she said, as a deformed man answered it. Either that, or he was wearing a mask.
“Er, hello?” he said, warily.
“We’ve come to see Kath!” announced Shauna.
“Do you know her?” the man asked.
“Kath is our fiend,” said BA.
“I think you mean friend,” the man said.
“No, we definitely mean fiend,” said Nova firmly.
“Hey! I know you!” the man exclaimed, “MODS! GET EM!”
Nothing happened.
They all waited patiently.
“Ahem.” Cherri tapped her foot.
“Why don’t we just pretend you’ve ‘got us’?” suggested Emz.
The others nodded.
“Well, okay, come in then,” the man said, standing by.
They trudged in.